if tumblr shuts down we should all develop car crash fetishes and form an underground community that reenacts famous car crashes for sexual pleasure
Pardon?
I said if tumblr shuts down we should all develop car crash fetishes and form an underground community that reenacts famous car crashes for sexual pleasure
You see a medical-looking neat little spray bottle on the table. The label says "wound spray". I tell you not to touch that. For some reason you spray some on yourself anyway and scream as a horrible smell fills the room and the chemical reaction of some unknown substance burns your skin right off. You scream and ask what the hell was that.
It's a wound spray, obviously. You spray some on your skin on the desired area, to instantly create a wound.
I am your worst fear//I am your best fantasy. After Donna Gottschalk.
Letterpress on latex gloves, stymie 30 point medium and bold.
behind the bastards in the world in which classic books happened for real
Robert Evans: What’s… bleeeeh../ )ahshsh……. Behind! Bastards! Podcast! Bad people!
Andrew Ti: Haha
RE: Andrew I love you more than I love funding contras with drug money, do you like cowboys Andre?w?
AT: Not really? I’m more of a pirates guy
RE: have you heard about a guy called Judge Holden
RE: Whaaaaaaaaat is salarying my men! I'm Robert Evans, and this is Behind the Bastards, the only podcast that will improve your salary, that's a guarantee!
Garrison Davis: For all of our listeners, you will get a free salary, tax-free, in your PO box within two days of listening.
RE: They will, indeed, Garrison - that's an obligation, here at CoolZone Media. We do it every morning. Speaking of obligations nobody wants to fulfill but have to; Garrison, do you have a routine?
GD: Uh...yeah! Yeah, I having a morning routine, one that keeps me steady.
RE: Steady, wins the race, like the subject of our piece, who had never won the race harder until he abruptly didn't; See, Patrick Bateman-!
RE: POL POT!!!!! Hello, I’m Robert Evans and this is Behind the Bastards, the podcast where we start every episode yelling the name of a mass murderer… because I love you, so so much. Today we are followed by the only doctor you should listen to: KAVEEEH HODA. Kaveh. How are you feeling today?
KH: (laughing) I’m good, I’m good.
RE: Great. Now Kaveh, as a doctor, I suppose you have heard of a little thing called the hypocritical oath— I mean hypocritical oath—
KH: I don’t think I like where this is going, Robert.
RE: Me neither, Kaveh. What do you know about a man called Dr. Henry Jekyll?
Still obsessed with my “Behind the Bastards if it was set in the universe where fictional stories are real” concept. With episode titles like Humbert Humbert: The Stupidest Pedophile or The Russian Doctor Who Turned His Dog Into A Guy or even Unsurprisingly, The Frankensteins Were A Family Of Bastards
BEHIND THE PODCAST A PEOPLE ABOUT BAD BASTARDS!!!! SOMETHING!!! I’m Robert Evans and I don’t know if you can tell but I’m so full of gas station pills and alcohol right now. Here at Cool Zone Media, we support mixing gas station pills with tequila. Today we’re joined by the phenomenal Matt Lieb, of the podcast Bad Hasbara… Matt… what do you know about a fellow called Dorian Gray?
these restrictions are really getting out of hand. Every single invention i’ve submitted to the mad scientist symposium this year has been denied on the grounds it ‘could be used for fetish material’! What the fuck man! A shrink ray and a mind control helmet are like the most foundational mad scientist devices and now I’m not allowed to submit them to the symposium on the off chance someone is turned on by them? Whats next? Banning strapping your rival to a table and threatening them with a big laser? Banning the glowing green mystery chemical that turns you into a big monster? Soon they’re gonna be banning lab coats and shiny black gloves!
"Reformed" mad scientist who's committed themselves to repairing this broken world in lasting and sustainable ways because they already tried the global domination thing and discovered that they hate having to micromanage shit.
Honestly if they quit world domination because they hate micromanagement, their villain org sucks ass. This tracks though because mad scientists are famously terrible at delegation.
It turns out that the sorts of minions who are willing to get on board with the idea of perfecting the world through brute force are actually pretty bad at effecting positive change without meticulous supervision.
My geiger counter is annoying as fuck its always ticking loud as hell so i got rid of it
