We would have no "only my wife knew that, I guess that makes you her" or anything in warrior penelope au because we all know Odysseus would be over here SOBBING onto her in an instant. She has no time to be like "I'm not the woman you married" because Odysseus is making out with her sloppy style.

The suitors are also less surprised about Penelope coming back because theyve spent the last 20 years hearing her talked about "like" she was alive day in day out. Odysseus is still pathetic as fuck for his wife yall we need this man doing that fucking slide on his knees to her through the suitors.

Ok but wouldnt it be really funny

Image the first thing you ever hear your father say is: "mercy? mercy? my mercy has long since drowned, it died to bring me home" etc

But then after you finish your first father-son-activity (killing the 108 men who personally wronged you) the first thing he ever truly says to you is: "oh my son look how much you've grown, oh my boy sweetest joy I've known" etc

Cracking one of these bad bois open & sharing with my mutuals

'Tis the season

i’m so glad earth only has one moon, if there were more i’d have to pick a favorite and that sounds too emotionally taxing to even fathom

​hey so funny thing about this

Can only accurately reblog this addition until November 25, 2024.

this website LOVES a damn time limit

i'm going to miss tony collette more than anyone in this world (he's been my fave since ep 1) but we gotta give it to freddie. tony has been dying since episode 5. finally kicked the bucket in episode 10. this italian catboy has been on the brink of death for literally 50% of the season. what an icon

Image description

Text "nope"

Attached image is a photo of a swingset and slide with the slide surrounded by a fairy circle of mushrooms

Jaskier: “Geralt, look, a slide!” *takes off running*

Geralt: *snatches him up by the back of his doublet so hard Jask flies three feet backward through the air by accident*

Jaskier: *pouts*

The twist: Jaskier is (part) fae and this was his way of bringing Geralt to meet his family.

Jaskier, shouting at the mushrooms: “Mother, we have talked about this! I will be home when I get home! Stay out of it!”

Mushrooms:

Mushrooms: *somehow emitting a strangely disapproving glare, despite being mushrooms*

Geralt, fervently: What the fuck.

@thequeeninyellowlace We are clearly brilliant collaborators.

Clearly!

@help-help-i-need-an-adult

Ok, but this is the fae equivalent to having a slide from upstairs to downstairs in your house

I literally saw this earlier tonight on fb and was like "this needs to be on tumblr, my witcher friends would love it"

Also, JASKIER NO

(Geralt has to be physically dragged away from the fairy mushroom path after the Accidental Warlord AU starts and the first wagonload of tribute arrives at Kaer Morhen. )

Jaskier: GODDAMNIT, Mother!

Geralt, looking hesitantly at the path of mushrooms: What’s she want this time? It looks like she made you a sidewalk.

Jask, growling under his breath: It’s not a sidewalk. It’s an aisle. She wants us to walk down it.

Geralt: An aisle? Like for a market?

Jaskier: Like for a wedding.

Geralt: *perplexed puppy head tilt*

Geralt: She wants you to go to a wedding? Who’s getting married?

Jaskier, sighing heavily: Damnit, Mother.

Jaskier, cupping Geralt's cheeks: You sweet summer child. Never change.

Jaskier's Mother, in Faerie: I want grandbabies!!! Settle down already!

((If only Yen had known the cure to her infertility was marrying the son of a grandbaby-obsessed fae...))

((There are 5,001 different marriage customs on the continent, and Jaskier knows and avoids them ALL. Because as soon as he's married, to ANYONE, his mother will get SO. MUCH. WORSE.))

Yen meets Jaskier’s mother and they immediately become best friends.

Yen: You know my fertility was taken away in exchange for my power, and I want nothing more than to be a mother. I don’t want to come between him and Jaskier, but I would give Geralt a child if you would fix it for me.

QUEEN FUCKING MAB: I’m sorry, darling. I love you, but you made that choice, and even I cannot undo it.

Queen Mab: but I do adore you and want you to be happy.

Mab: Can I offer you a changeling in these trying times?

Yennifer, holding a child that looks suspiciously like Jaskier: So I met your mom.

Jaskier: *looks at Yen*

Jaskier: *looks at the baby*

Jaskier: *looks back at Yen*

Jaskier: oh SHIT

[Imagine a gif of Jaskier running away as fast as his little bard legs will carry him]

Omg 🤣

Jaskier, screaming at a mushroom growing out of the side of a tree and stomping his feet like a toddler: Mooooom! You said you’d stay away from my friends! Butt out! *slams bedroom door* *yes he’s in a forest and there’s a door to be slammed* *don’t ask questions of the fae*

Queen Mab, appearing in front of him: Darling, she announced that you two were married to an envoy of an empire. What was I supposed to think?

Geralt, appearing from behind a tree and for some reason NOT worried about the fae queen dressing down his bard: So you WEREN'T joking about being married to Yennifer?

Jaskier: You are NOT HELPING

Queen Mab, smiling toothily at Geralt: You know, the fae have nothing against triad marriages, and you'd make an excellent son-in-law. Just a thought.

Also Mab, smiling toothily at Geralt: Or if my idiot son won’t make an honest man out of you, I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to acquiring a new consort.

Mab, grinning: I suspect we’d be well matched.

Jaskier: *apoplectic*

Fae Queen mom flirting for Jaskier is the funniest thing

This came across my attention again and I’m reminded that so many people don’t know what a changeling is

The most underrated part of Never Stop Blowing Up ep 2 is by far Rekha's eyes lighting up and her excited point as she realizes that if Izzy's baby was wearing an "I love my slut dad" t-shirt, Brennan would in fact be the slut dad in question

Endless NSBU

reblog to teleport your mutuals to a massive party when jkr dies

when jkr dies i will tag every single person who reblogged this in a post btw

Resources for Mending Clothes

We toss out over 80 pounds of textiles each year. These textiles are often made of plastic materials (polyester, nylon), made in unethical conditions, dyed with harsh dyes that often get put into the rivers, etc. Even a single cotton shirt releases carbon emissions and uses tons of water. 

So the best thing to prevent the unsustainable growth of the fashion industry is to make sure that your clothing lasts as long as possible. To do so, mending clothing is a must. So here are some resources to help you learn how to do various things, such as sewing a button, to tailoring clothes, or even upcycling old clothing into new styles. 

* How to sew on three different types of button

* How to hand sew on a patch on a torn pair of jeans

* How to sew up a hole in an old shirt

* How to sew a simple T-shirt

* How to upcycle old clothing into new clothing

* More upcycle and sewing techniques

* How to repair a damaged sock

* How to do an invisible stitch

* 3 different stitches to work with for different results

* How to make a T-shirt smaller so it fits you better

* How to make repairs to your shoes

These are just a few of the things that you can do in order to make sure that your clothing lasts for a long time. Nobody wants to keep buying new clothing, as it is expensive and wasteful. 

So making alterations to your clothing, or fixing small holes hen you see them can be hugely beneficial to your wallet, to garment workers, and to the environment in the long term. 

Mending! It’s really satisfying, saves money, and saves the planet!

Mending! It’s really

satisfying, saves money,

and saves the planet!

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

"and if i had to choose between you and all the places that my name is written, i'd scrub it from this and every world for another day." god bill loves his son so much

My latest cartoon for @GuardianBooks.

This is what will happen when I die if I am good.

white people go like “is anyone going to redesign this nonhuman evil character as a poc?” and not wait for an answer

white people go “is anyone going to redesign this nonhuman good character as a white person?” and not wait for an answer

white people can rb but please do not clown

white people really cant give a shit abt anyone but themselves unless held at gunpoint or smth huh?

“what about the poor little white kids just trying to have fun?” what about the poor little kids of color made to feel unsafe and unwelcome in a space that was supposed to be fun?

“why can’t poc just make their own redesigns and we can keep these ones” why cant you realize that your actions have consequences and that you should maybe try to not enforce racist stereotypes??

like ofc its ideal to have VARIETY among both villains AND protagonists, its when your characters look like this

that the issue arises

scratch “can”, white people are encouraged to reblog

Gorgug in ep 19:

“Every Adventurer has 1.5 dads.” Factoid is actually wrong. Gorgug Thistlespider, the adventurer who claims all dads as his own, is an outlier and shouldn’t be counted