I’ve been laughing at “fuck this lemon you take it” for several minutes

take this papaya from my cold dead hands is sending me again oh my god

badminton is dont hit the fucking ground you stupid disgusting baby bird

every day this post has more responses that make me lunge back in my chair with the most unnecessarily loud cackle

Hockey is I’m gonna launch this peppermint patty at you and the only way to stop me is violence

curling is my two friends and i really want to put a watermelon in that exact spot, but the floor disagrees

relay racing is "here, you take this leek"

1977 Learning to use your Crayola crayons . . . booklet (via: archive.org)

oh my god, that booklet is everything??? click through. it should still come with every packet of crayons by law.

(forgive my quick shitty screencaps. seriously, click through. neat)

context (via @mellorocket)

doubly funny that I saw a compilation of all the corporate accounts like "aw thanks elmo, we're doing well" meanwhile all the flesh and blood real human people are extremely not okay

Okay but Elmo had actually the best and sweetest response to all this trauma dumping:

And then all the other Sesame Street character accounts joined in:

And now I’m thinking maybe we’re gonna be okay… 💗

(Comment compilation from this Twitter)

I kinda feel for the poor person running Elmo's Twitter.

"So, boss... I may have messed up."

"What did you do, Ray?"

"Well, I made a post for Elmo saying 'Hi, how's everybody doing?'"

"I mean, that's kind of what we pay you for."

"Yeah, but.... <sigh> it turns out pretty much everyone is hanging on by a thread, badly enough that they needed to tell Elmo."

"Oh."

"God help me, boss, I think Elmo needs to be there for them."

"Get the others."

this is the energy that jim henson would be proud of.

and important addition

Source: instagram

Always reblog this. Elmo and his friends will be there in your times of trial and doubt, to help you through your torment

it's healthy for academics to have professional feuds. enrichment activity

Holy shit. "The demese ef the Ne'enderthels: Wes lengege a fecter?" published in the Science magazine

short but sweet

One of two new series I’m introducing for my Instagram account SaritaZoo: Animal Fictions vs Animal Facts.

These will be short infographs intended to clear up some common misunderstandings about certain animals!

Follow SaritaZoo on Instagram for the next posts in the series, covering Electric Eels, Blobfish, Daddy Longlegs, and more!

Btw: I originally meant for this to be just one slide, but then while fact-checking I found out about that dang salamander and I absolutely had to include it. That thing blew my mind. The article I referenced is literally titled “Salamander with a ballistic tongue.”

Diagram from said article below the cut:

The idea of “but everyone knows that” needs to stop.

I saw a post about someone chiding Millennials for not knowing about JKRowlings transphobia, and asking how it is at all possible that people can exist in the world and the internet and, you know, not know.

Which I mean, I get. It is so present in so many of my online spaces that it seems astounding that someone could simply be ignorant! It feels impossible!

But let me tell you a story:

I went on a girls trip with a bunch of friends. All of us are rather incredibly liberal and all of us are incredibly online.

One girl would not stop talking about Harry Potter.

At one point, another girl asked her why she was ok with supporting it, and she had no real clue that JK Rowling was at all transphobic. She had heard that she likes to support Lesbian causes and thought “oh ok cool!” And that was it. She was AGOG with the news and rather horrified.

I must once again emphasize that she was an incredibly online person. She’s a foodie and a restaurant blogger.

Later in the trip we were picking restaurants and I suggested one I found on Google, and she gasped at me. Actually gasped, asking how I could ever be okay picking that one.

The shock must’ve been on my face, because she then told me all of the shitty things that restaurateur does. He abuses staff. Underpays them. Fires them on a whim. Is known for being one of the worst people to his employees in the entire restaurant business on this coast.

And she was so shocked I had never heard of this. Because in her mind, I was just as online as her. And in her online world, EVERYONE knew about this guy.

So I think the moral of this story is: always approach the other person with some empathy. Even online people, even people you think MUST know about how bad people are, may not have heard. It may truly be just them being on a different sphere of the internet than you.

So be gentle, be kind when letting people know they might not have heard about the cancellation of XYZ person. Don’t assume that everyone knows all the same info as you.

By all means, let them know so they can make informed decisions, but being kind will go a lot further than attacking them for some info they might not know yet.

I loved Marjorine’s episode, sooo…

Kontent

Theres no fukin betterer way zum flyen.

Surprise! You’ve been Isekai’d into a D&D World… but it’s specifically a 3.5 Edition D&D world and due to a weird Glitch in the system you have been assigned not just a Base Class, but also one of that edition’s weird and wacky Prestige Class as well! Spin this wheel to see what you got!

(I added a short little summary for each Class explaining the basic gist of it. Although obviously you can also look them up to get more detailed info)

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

Allowing an addict to eat might be the most holy thing my tax dollars have ever done.

[ ID: a Facebook post, reading “I've been hearing criticisms about the type of people some folk think take advantage of government assistance. "But Josh, what if it's a drug addict that uses SNAP funds?" Oh honey, my American tax dollars have funded terror across the world.

It has purchased bullets that murdered civilians in Iraq, paid for bombs dropped on children in Gaza, financed police violence against Black and Brown bodies in my own country, subsidized private prisons, been used to exploit the poor, and enhanced the wealth of billionaires.

Allowing an addict to eat might be the most holy thing my tax dollars have ever done.” It was posted to Facebook by Dr. Josh Olds. end ID]

the only "welfare fraud" I care about is handing billionaires and rich corporations our tax dollars

She's hilarious, I love her

look just gonna be really ndn about it for a moment but no one can claim to know the internal experience of animals. no one can claim to know the internal experience of plants. no one can claim to know the internal experience of the earth. theres a part of my heart that is always the girl telling my philosophy professor that we cant know the flower turning towards the sun is "purely instinct." and if u disagree then thats fine idc its just My Soulful Opinion in afraid

its frustrating doubly to talk abt on here bc not only is everyone gonna laugh me out of the room like they did when i tried to bring up animism in my white philosophy classes but also like. i know people are gonna get mad like "oh so animals can have morals?" etc of like. look i Knowww and i agree that the anthropomorphism of animals by people is harmful absolutely! but this colonial empirical stance of that nothing feels emotion or has desires in this world except for human beings is so sick to me. what a terrible rotten world to live in where plants dont love the sun and love the shade and love the rain. "they dont have the brain synapses firing to-" 1) thats not all that emotion is oh my lord 2) constantly they are coming out with more science that proves that plants communicate with each other in Scientifically Proven ways. your need to have the world fit an aristotelian victorian bullshit diagnostic criteria is sick

Tiffany Aching and You, the white kitten she gives Granny Weatherwax in Wintersmith. I loved this series so much 🖤 GNU Terry Pratchett

Discworld Heritage Post

I accept the yellow paint in God of War (2018) because Faye canonically put that yellow paint there.

Every time Kratos told her a story of getting horribly maimed or concussed or struck by lightning by the Greek Pantheon, she'd say, "Thank you for telling me, Grumbles, I'll be right back." And she'd grab her paint bucket and walk through the mystic gateway to get to work because God or not there's no way in hell she's trusting a dude with that much blunt force trauma to know where the hell to go when the Aesir finally got her.

Faye: Atreus, if you and your father ever have to journey without me, promise me you will help him with the puzzles.

9-year-old Atreus, struggling to string a bow: The what?

Faye, taking a knee in front of Atreus and placing a hand on his shoulder with gentle urgency: The puzzles, my heart, you must help him with the puzzles.

the number 87 kinda looks like a plague doctor

You’ve just changed the fucking game