Jewel of the World
Been working on this one for a while. Got a new laptop with better art features and was able to use a stylus rather than a mouse.
Phineas and Ferb episode idea: After Candace shows her photos of all of her brothers’ creations, Linda thinks that her daughter is a talented graphic artist and signs her up for a competition. Candace is frustrated and about to tell her mom the truth but then Jeremy shows up and he’s like “Wow, Candace, I didn’t know you were a graphic designer. That’s so cool. Btw, my little sister is also gonna be at the graphic design competition.”
Long story short, Candace asks her brothers to help her become a graphic artist for real so she could beat Suzie.
Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz has gotten tired of designing -Inators so he designed the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator to design them for him. The Inator’s creation are a hit among other Evil Scientists who buy them in droves. Doofenshmirtz is then signed by Vanessa to an Evil Contracption Designing competition (held in the same building at the same time as the graphic design competition, of course).
Desperate, he asks Perry the Platypus to help him get his mojo back so he could design -Inators again.
Cue musical montage of Doof and Candace training to learn/relearn their respective art form.
It’s the competition(s). Candace is a nervous wreck, but Jeremy believes in her. Doof is all self-assured and ego-boosted by everyone thinking he’ll win, but then he sees his Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator (who looks like a robotic him) also signed up for the competition.
While getting ready for the competition, Perry is accidentally almost spotted by Phineas and Ferb. He sneaks behind the curtain to the behind the scenes. That’s when he discovers that the goal of the competition is to design a doomsday weapon. Nervous, he swaps the cards with those of the graphic design competition.
The competition begins. The graphic artists are assigned to design a doomsday weapon while the Evil Scientists are assigned to design a cool band poster.
The scientists are baffled, but they do their best. The
Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator
is stuck because it’s physically incapable of drawing anything but Inators.
Meanwhile in the graphic design competition Candace does her best but her brain goes blank. Suzie meanwhile is trying to sabotage her by switching her card back with the card from the other tournament. Unfortunately it’s the card of the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator, who now goes to task designing a Doomsday weapon.
The competition is finished. Candace’s work is mediocre, but she wins by technicality for being the only one who drew the correct thing.
Meanwhile at the Evil Scientists competition, the scientists all drew terrible posters except Doof whose poster is beautiful. He’s about to be declared the winner but then the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator reveals what it’s been working on, a doomsday machine. Everyone panics, and Perry the Platypus tries to stop the machine, but fails. Then the machine ticks down to 0, and nothing happens.
Turns out the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator is terrible at coming up with machines. All of its Inators don’t work. Which unfortunately for Doof results in all of his previously happy customers showing up to complain because their Inators didn’t work either. He asks Perry to help him again, but Perry is already gone.
“There you are, Perry.” “Curse you, Perry the Platypus!”
Despite winning, Candace feels hollow because she only won by technicality and all of the other designers were much better than her. She feels like a fraud. But then Jeremy shows up and asks to buy the rights for her poster, because he thinks it’s really cool. Candace is happy.
The End.
Jeremy: I love the exploding moon in the corner
Candace *frowning*: It’s a flower
Ferb’s Line: Maybe you did design a doomsday weapon after all
I used to be obsessed with Phineas and Ferb.
Also I’m a good writer.
phineas and ferb heritage post
I feel like I'm the last person alive writing in Word, but wanted to share this because it might save someone some heartache.
I am used to Word autosaving relentlessly; for the last few years it didn't really even have a "File>Save" command that I could see--it just autosaved like every five seconds or something. It took me a long time to get used not clicking File>Save at the end of every writing session, and I never really trusted it--with good reason, it turns out.
Apparently, when you turn off Word's new ai features, AutoSave is disabled and cannot be turned back on. There is toggle button in the upper left for it, but when I try to toggle it on, it says "Autosave is not available because of your privacy settings." I worked in my document yesterday, put my computer to sleep with the doc still open on the taskbar (my usual habit), and when I opened it today, the new work I did yesterday was gone.
This time I only lost about 300 words, which I had typed into my document from my longhand-writing in a notebook (so I guess I kind of autosaved them that way!), but if I'd really been on a roll, this could have been a disaster.
Be careful out there. Everything is terrible!
Yeah, they're baking it into essential compontents now so we'll stop turning it off. Noticed that in several programs. FFS I hate all of these tech bros.
Please may I introduce you to my good friend LibreOffice, which does everything Microsoft Office does except *checks notes* get progressively more hostile with every update. Free and open source, highly reliable, no AI, and it can save in Microsoft formats so you can pretty easily send files back and forth between programs as long as you're not getting truly crazy with custom formatting options.
EDIT IMPORTANT ADDITION: Also the autocorrect works. Because again: no AI. (Don't know if that's a problem in Word yet but it's a nice problem in google's products.)
THE DREADED “COWABUNGA” AHIAIAJDNDJDJ
Peter Laird: I fear no man…but that thing…
The Dreaded Cowabunga:
Peter Laird: it scares me…
Peter laird calling everything stupid compilation
this character development all within one issue
Don't be caught unprepared! Get your tabs in order!
Anonymous
sent a message
You wake up, it's 2015 again, Tumblr heyday, your friends are unbanned, the posts, the bits... the block is hot but the dash is hotter, one wrong move will get you deactivated...
who you tappin and who you cappin?
>look north
You see several people arguing passionately about something. You can’t make out any words, but one of them is wearing a Steven Universe shirt.
>look east
You see untagged porn.
>look south
You see a featureless gray wall immediately in front of you.
>look west
You see a featureless gray corridor extending off an unknown distance into the darkness.
>move west
You venture forth into the hallway. As you take your first step, your foot bumps into something solid.
>look down
You see a knife on the ground. Though its blade is pitted and dulled by time, it still gleams in what little light remains here.
>take knife
You pick the knife up and put it in your pocket. Its heft feels good in your hands.
Gained 1x KNIFE.
Your stomach begins to rumble…
>check inventory
You are holding: 1x KNIFE, 1x STICK, 1x TINDER.
>use knife on stick
You sit down and whittle the stick to a point.
Lost 1x STICK, gained 1x SPEAR.
>make angsty post
You cup your hands to your mouth and yell out into the darkness. “Man, I’m such a waste of space, even getting drunk doesn’t make me feel better any more, I should just die!”
>listen west
Through the overwhelming silence present in this place, your ears faintly begin to pick up the scrabbling of talons on stone.
>look west
Although its gray skin has evolved to blend in perfectly with the gray walls and oppressive darkness of these halls, you can just barely make out the form of a wild Anonymous approaching, drawn by your cries. Its sunglasses-covered eyes glint in the darkness. Although it has no mouth to move, it speaks constantly in a stream of consciousness as it patrols. As it draws closer, you can make out some of what it’s saying: “you just want attention, if you actually cared you’d [chewing noises], drug addicts like you are worthless…”
>throw spear at anonymous
Your aim is true: the sharpened stick flies down the hallway and pierces directly through one of the Anon’s reflective eye coverings. It shudders, twitches, and gurgles as its pitch-black blood pours out in gouts, never breaking eye contact with you or stopping its rambling until it just abruptly… ends.
>skin anonymous
Sorry, I don’t know what you mean by “skin”.
>use knife on anonymous
You bleed, skin, and field-dress the Anonymous corpse.
You gained 1x RAW ANONYMOUS MEAT and 1x RAW ANONYMOUS HIDE.
>cook raw anon meat
You can’t do that without a fire.
>use tinder on spear
You can’t use those items like that.
Your stomach rumbles again, louder this time…
>examine tinder
An app you used a lot in 2015. You were quite the manwhore back then.
>fuck
Sorry, I don’t know what you mean by “fuck”.
i do very much like the idea of jason being that responsible-irresponsible kind of older brother. like. he fits that kind of vibe, y'know? he knows he cant stop drugs from being dealt in the alley but he still cares about people so he just makes sure that no kids are involved and people have access to drugs in the safest avenue. i bet he's also like that as a brother.
he gives damian his first ever joint. not because he wants damian to smoke weed, but at 13 and starting his rebellious phase, jason would rather damian experiment in a safe environment with somebody trusted, like him. he did the same with tim and edibles.
tim and druke are allowed to drink at jason's apartment. they know if they ask politely jason will let them raid his fridge for beer, and the scandalised expression dick wore when all the siblings went to jason's place for post-patrol wind-downs and the kids instantly went to grab a pint unopposed was priceless. jason has it framed.
when bruce decided it was time to teach tim how to drive he was treated to a 25 minute expert speedrun around the backstreets of gotham without any hesitation until tim finally admited '.....yeah so actually i got given a couple driving lessons by jason.'
'when?!' bruce demands, baffled and slightly shaken by the driving style. he'd been hanging onto the ceiling for the past five minutes.
'like. i dunno. two years ago? it was around christmas.'
'two ye- WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE WAS ALIVE BACK THEN!? YOU WERE LETTING THE RED HOOD GIVE YOU DRIVING LESSONS BACK WHEN WE THOUGHT HE WAS A RANDOM MURDERER?'
'well he caught me in bristol trying to joyride one of my mother's cars and said he 'had the responsibility of showing me the ropes'... of course i didn't get what he meant fully until i found out he was my brother, but it was still helpful.'
just jason being the irresponsible but still carefully supervising older brother that the younger ones adore and that stresses the Absolute Fuck out of helicopter parent bruce.
Texts From Superheroes is made by two tiny comedians in their tiny apartment with their sleepy doggo.
If you enjoy our work please consider supporting us on Patreon so we can keep doing what we love, making dumb superhero jokes for you.
Barbarian Ross
Man's about to turn you into the scene of a happy little accident.
One thing I will always appreciate Fullmetal Alchemist for is the fact that they let Roy Mustang be complicit in genocide.
Mustang is an Atoner figure. Something that plagues Atoner figures is when writers are too precious about the characters we're meant to like to actually let them be guilty of something serious.
The Atoner might be trying to make amends for their involvement in the Great '87 Hotel Massacre, and then three seasons in you find out what happened. And it's like, "I drove a taxi to the hotel, and the KILLER was in it! I ferried the killer to the hotel! That makes me responsible, and now I must atone for being nearby while the killings took place! And also vanquish the real killer who is the villain for this season."
Or maybe the Atoner did do the killings but they were under mind control the whole time and would never, ever have done it in their right mind.
But FMA said no. Mustang, Hawkeye, Hughes, even Armstrong to an extent though he suffered a breakdown and fled during it. They did that shit. They followed their orders and they did that shit. And it haunts them.
Roy did that shit. And his atonement, his grand ambition, is to see everyone responsible for that shit brought to justice for their crimes. Including himself.
That is how you write an atonement plot.