hate when mummy movies use Imhotep as the big bad. He was an architect. Imagine a mummy movie but the mummy is Frank Llyod Wright. And he was buried at the House On The Rock. Ok nevermind that would be a sick ass movie.
“Medieval peasants couldn’t handle my Spotify playlist” but could YOU handle a medieval bard relaying the epic of Beowulf over the course of an hour? Humble yourself.
My specialty at work (eg, what I tend to get thrown into) is wrangling clever but extremely poorly behaved children. (The children are adolescent, but children nonetheless.) They tend to be boys. They tend to have ADHD. (It’s possible that the focus on the clever rules out the ADHD girls, who have cleverly developed better masking skills by adolescence.)
The current bright and terrible-on-purpose disaster, A, is aware of the ADHD diagnosis but has apparently been told nothing about the disability. So a lot of our conversations go like this:
Me: Well, I’d ask you why you decided to start making richly detailed but extremely inappropriate jokes during class, but I’m pretty sure the answer is that someone started yelling at you for doing it before you realized that you were.
A, leaning backward, looking concerned: Are you following me?
Me: Yes, that’s what I do with the spare time I don’t have during the day, follow aggravating children around. We have so few of them here.
A, put out either because I’ve called him aggravating or because he’s not special and aggravating: Sarcasm isn’t very nice, Ms. T.
Me, sarcastically: I’m so sorry. Maybe you looked at the work first, thought boring, and then decided to be an enormous brat.
A: You can read minds?!
–
Me: Clearly we need executive dysfunction strategies for you, because if we don’t get in front of it you’ll be an adult who sits on their sofa for forty minutes yelling at herself to do the dishes and never does them.
A, trying to politely muffle laughter: Are you doing all right, Ms. T?
Me: Out of dishes, but fine. What’s working in your classes? Your Literature grade is good, why are you doing the reading?
A looks left. Right. Up. At his phone.
Me: … You aren’t doing the reading, are you? The other kids ask questions because they don’t understand it, and you figure out what it has to be about from the answers and never read.
A: Are you in my Lit class??
–
Me: Okay, look, ADHD brains are weird, and we tend to get them from our families, so these -
A, immediately: My dad.
Me, derailed from my drug interaction speech: Yeah, okay. When your dad has coffee, does he get calmer?
A, backing away: You’re stalking my whole family now?!
I live by the motto, “if you can’t buy what you want, make it.” And this motto came to life recently in the form of a floral mosaic dining table for my back deck.
Our deck table had been showing its age already when the wind caught the umbrella and cracked it. I wanted to replace it with a mosaic table because I’d been enjoying that art form recently. But I couldn’t get one the size I wanted so I got creative.
I spent a few weeks looking for tile and figuring out a very loose design concept. I started by picking a limited set of tile shapes and a color palette.
Once the tiles arrived I had a piece of particle board cut to size for the base and I experimented with different motifs until I settled on a selection of floral shapes that gave me plenty of variety to fill space without locking me into one repeating pattern.
And then I was off! I basically doodled my way around the table, attaching tiles with Weld Bond (I went through 4 full bottles!) and rocking out to the K-Pop Demon Hunters soundtrack.
Once the florals were done it was time for the background…
Over 3,800 1cm glass tiles make up the not-design part of the design. It went pretty quickly though because I just had to fill the space, leaving room for grout.
Once I had the tile done, my husband assisted with disassembly and reassembly. We used the legs off the original table for this one (waste not).
One huge bucket of black grout later…
She is finished.
I enjoyed making it and just looking at it makes me so happy - I can’t wait for all the dinners we’ll have around this table 🌼❤️
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