"There's a life that I am meant to lead"

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
vancila
dizzyghoast

i think its funny how if you imagine something scary enough your brain starts treating it like its real and out to get you. its really cool and not annoying at all

dizzyghoast

someone: i made up a guy called the Scary Getter! He's real spooky when he tries to getter you!

me: wow thats scary.....the Scary Getter.....what if hes real....what if he getters me???

dizzyghoast

gonna start reblogging this every time i start worrying about about the Scary Getter

murderandjam
duckbunny

don't infantilise yourself. you are not a child who needs an adult to make your decisions for you. you are a splendid and magnificent autocrat and you are consulting your trusted advisors. you are exercising great wisdom by inviting an expert to give their opinion before making your ruling. often the path of wisdom is to say "good morning, I'm trying to [perform task] and I have a question about [aspect], can you tell me who I should speak to for advice?" before you do it. sometimes the path of wisdom is to hire a plumber. there are times when you cannot do things for yourself but that doesn't mean you are not an adult. you don't need a grown-up. you need a specialist.

duckbunny

this has come up a couple of times so let me be really really clear:

the path of wisdom is sometimes to hire a plumber.

the path of wisdom is always to hire an electrician.

murderandjam
byjove

side quests from my dad: hey bud, can you identify this lizard? can you research search engine optimization for my business?

side quests from my mom: I need you to go into my downstairs closet. There is a crawlspace behind the shoe rack. Inside the crawlspace there is a cardboard Crown Royal box from the liquor store. Inside the box there are a number of cardigans I have not worn since the 1980s, you must find the navy blue one from Talbots and check the pockets. Your great grandfather’s suicide note and art deco ruby ring should be inside the right breast pocket. Have you located it? Can you use the cypher on the ring to transcribe great grandpa’s final message?

stevishabitat

image
murderandjam
mortalityplays

hi, a lot of you need a perspective reset

  • the average human lifespan globally is 70+ years
  • taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult
  • at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)
  • 'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65
  • it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age
  • it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.
  • you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.
  • young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!
  • there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big
roach-works

it is an incredibly joyous thing to look around at your friends as you're heading into your 40s and everyone is so much more themselves than they were when you were all scared and fragile 20-somethings. we're different genders now, we've gotten out of bad relationships and into good ones, we worked shit jobs and got better ones, we all cook a lot better and we eat better too, we casually pull off the kind of art we could only dream of as kids, we've figured out who we are and we do it on purpose now. the self-harm scars have all faded away and we complain about our bad backs and picky digestions instead.

we still lose at trivia real bad.