I hate that thing some people do where it’s like. “I left my wallet on the table to see if you’d say anything” or “I wanted to see if you’d wash the car if I stopped doing it”
Cause like
I dont know about anyone else
But I am perpetually hovering three inches above the strong subconscious belief that everyone knows what they’re doing at all times except me, so if you change your normal patterns and I notice, then I will assume it is an intentional choice with a thought-out plan behind it and I will avoid interfering
And if I don’t notice, because I won’t, because why would I, because not much bothers me and if you don’t say anything to indicate you are bothered then how would IKNOW
Alternatives to experimenting on me like a lab rat when you suspect me of being inconsiderate:
“I feel like I’m the only one who does this chore. Can we start taking turns?”
“I’d like you to ask me how I’m doing more often.”
“It bothers me when this area stays messy so long. Can you do X when Y happens?”
“I feel like the onus is on me to initiate X, and it’s wearing me down. Could you try making the first move more? Like 3-4 times a week?”
“I’m feeling upset right now and I’d like to spend some time with you.”
“When X happens, I feel like you’re taking my work for granted.”
“I’m feeling neglected. Could you do X?”
“I’m burnt out and need help.”
“I feel like I’m the only one putting effort into X.”
“Do you notice this?”
“Are you bothered by this?”
“I am bothered when this happens.”
“X habit of yours bothers me.”
“When X is like this, I feel bad. Can you [action] when you notice X?”
She spent hours upon hours just beating the canvas with a belt…
when you look at the finished painting, you can almost see letters - but there aren’t any. It’s all noise. a lot of adults process this sort of beating by insisting there is a lesson in it. with the title and artist statement in mind, it’s like they’re trying to read a message of love written in that chaotic canvas.
