You see it's quite simple: if they call the earth Gaia, it's fantasy. If they call it Terra, that's sci-fi

Dumbass tabletop rpg character concept:

A character whose weapon is a gun with red dot sight laser, except the gun is just a dummy that's been carved out of wood and sprayed black, with a laser pointer pen taped onto it. It's obviously fake to any character who knows anything about firearms, and it's always a gamble whether anyone who doesn't know anything about guns is going to be fooled by it. But that's the neat part: The gun isn't the weapon.

This character has a familiar, a big cat beast that's been trained to attack on command, attacking whatever the laser is pointed at.

No wait it gets better: Instead of a vocal command or some sort of a gesture, the dummy gun's otherwise useless trigger makes a very distinct clicking sound, which is the cat's cue to attack.

Evil haunted dead wife picture locket that makes u hallucinate memories of a dead wife u never had frolicking in a wheat field and running across the beach and baking a big cake and she puts a lil frosting on ur nose and painting the walls on a house you never lived in

I seem to be living a very expensive lifestyle called eating food regularly

it’s always Sex Sex Sex with you people. let’s go back to killing each other with stones like how cain intended

i've had this queued for an entire year, the most important holiday we celebrate here in boston HAPPY GREAT MOLASSES FLOOD DAY EVERYBODY

the lesbian computer from portal was right. given the circumstances ive been shockingly nice

insane like/reblog parity on this post btw

Yay

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury

whenever I go to the restroom and can’t piss immediately I get so mad because all I can think about is that weird sexist John Updike passage where he’s like “the pee got lost inside her mysterious Woman Body”

Me drunk as fuck & easily physically distracted knowing logically I have to piss sitting on a bar toilet mad as hell like IF I DON’T PISS RIGHT NOW JOHN UPDIKE WILL HAVE BEEN RIGHT

my daily affirmation as an author

"that doesn't sound sincere- it sounds rehearsed" is one of the most devastating and fucked-up statements you can make to anyone in the neurodivergent/ADHD/Autistic/Schizophrenic/Disordered Personality sphere. yeah bitch it's rehearsed. because i wanted to get it right when i said it

me when the disorder that makes it difficult for me to communicate makes it difficult for me to communicate

I think it’s normal for people to be mad at each other sometimes even if they’re close friends or family or intimate with each other. Like I think that’s a normal and healthy part of relationships that can happen sometimes

“Why were you on Mad At Me island” because at the time I was mad at you and yet our friendship has weathered that without trouble

I went to Mad At You island because my feelings are my problem. I needed to stomp down the beach until I could sit and watch the sunrise. I built a sandcastle and did some thinking. Then I boarded the good ship You Matter To Me and sailed it all the way to meet you on the Let’s Talk Shore of I Love You Island.

Crushing news: shrinkflation so bad the funny number has decreased from 69 to 67