9/11 could never happen today because the twin towers arent there anymore for some reason
big fan of "one william" as a quantity. keep it up
It makes me think of the mysterious Williamcoin I received in the mail recently.
Behold, One William.
holy shit, you found it. one william dollar.
So, very unfortunate news. I actually received a follow up in the mail, too.
Forbidden Williamcoin
this is art i can't breathe thats too good
Whoever made you think you'd get teased for not drinking alcohol at parties was lying. You're their new supreme. You can go pick up more snacks. You can take care of the fallen. You can talk to the cops. If you have a car, you can drive people home.
In movies they always portray the sober person as a nerd but it's more like being a priest. Your lack of engagement in the carnal realities of the party makes you holy and powerful. You are a vital pillar of the community. A rock in a raging storm. Now go answer the door for the pizza man.
Someone in Glasgow please go see this for me pls. I will be there in spirit 🙏
Brief report from the flute accompaniment:
It went well! At least 100 people attended, families dogs a solid portion of Glasgow's trans community. There was a really lovely atmosphere, nice weather and a very cheerful celebratory vibe.
After short speeches from the ballhaver and the large dyke (my wife), the ballhaver was given a chupa chup and blindfolded (execution style). The balls were then duly kicked; it made a surprisingly loud dull thumping sound. She fell to the ground to loud cheers and there was a moment of silence while Taps played on the flute. The large dyke wore solovair urban hikers.
Account from the Large Dyke.
Arrived early to find the crowd already gathering, so the kick got off to a prompt start. Following some introductions from everybody and some cheery folk music from our flautist (my wife!) we got on with the kick.
I think we got good contact, the top of my boot making a good solid noise on impact. Very good atmosphere all round, people stayed to chat for a while. Were it not January it would have been an excellent opportunity for a picnic.
10/10 queer event, would happily kick anybody in the balls in the name of community.
Account from the ball haver
7am: the pressure is getting to me; I wake up and drink half a bottle of diet iron bru from my bedside table; roll out of bed, and psych myself up in the mirror - "you can do this my little pogchamp" I say to myself over and over until I decend into a stupor.
8am: I play an hour of Okami on steam to replenish my chi levels
9am: I look at my balls for a while
10am: I spend 20 or so minutes trying to decide what to wear before realising it's the subartic in midwinter and I'm going to have to dress for -2C° regardless of what I choose and opt of my trusty black Schott thermal padded winter flight jacket and a pair of loose, warm Uniqlo trousers to give my testicles room to breathe.
11am: crashing out, texting my friends to arange a substitute kickee, an understudy, anybody so I can just become one with the crowd and not go through with it
12am: the homies have arrived, I'm drinking redbush tea in a small cafe by the park; god is in his heaven and all is right with the world
12.15: "you must be here to watch me get kicked in the balls?"
12.40: a circle emerges, from within the circle a palpable energy focuses like a lens down unto me and I feel like I'm gonna pee my pants a little
12.50: cheers begin, several complete families with dogs arrive - more friends appear and assort themselves into a gathering of 'real heads' ready to watch my groin be dessicated by the firm lace of a women for woman woman with a foot loosed through the gates of war as Augustus saw fit the dispatch and return of his troops from far corners through the blessings of Janus.
12.55: I think I left the stove on
1pm: Short introductions are made, grace is shown, beautiful flute music accompanies the gathering
1.03pm: what is left of my dignity disappears up my inguinal canal; I fall to the ground and languish a moment. I can feel it more in my lower chest than I can in my groin but the humour and adrenaline lift me and I'm laughing on my feet again soon. I kneel for the last post.
shoutout to whoever stole my amazon package containing nothing but a single pair of shoelaces.
I understand that people have issues with ep 3, but I’m grateful for it bc it gave us the Scott/Shane fight and therefore all of these great posts on Tumblr.com
