• pinned
  • [WIP] Intro/Pinned Post


    Hi!

    Links

    AO3
    Neocities
    Pillowfort

    About me

    • Very dyslexic
    • Very adhd
    • Disastrously bisexual
    • Late 20’s
    • Studied Computer Science and Math but also took too many courses in physics and chemistry bc I didn’t know:
      ☆ what I wanted to do w/ my life
      ☆ how getting a degree worked
      ☆ that I had adhd
    • Very enthusiastic about Dinosaurs 🦕
    • English is my native language, but I lived in Germany for a hot minute so my German is passable
    • From the American West (like, Wild West, not West Coast)

    Fan-ish interests that aren’t specific fandoms

    • Archiving and preservation
    • Smol-, Indy-, Alt-, Yester-, web
    • Data privacy
    • Data sovereignty
    • The internet in general
    • Alternative social media

    Asks/dms

    • Probably wont reply to dms unless they are direct, specific, and have a reason to be a dm over an ask
    • Feel free to ask me questions about setting up a website using neocities, github pages, ext

    Links to charities, social movements, ext

    • [WIP]
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  • i need to explain i have three broken laptops running all three major OSes, none of them have battery life longer than 3 hours, and the two plastic ones have bits falling off them and pop and groan when touched

  • really i should install linux on this old macbook air whose 120g is 1/3 system data

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  • Debating silently showing this to one of the flight attendants while boarding

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  • I SHOWED IT TO MY FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN HE GAVE ME MY COOKIES AND HE LAUGHED SO HARD HE TOOK MY PHONE TO SHOW IT TO THE OTHER FLIGHT ATTENDANT

  • winning at airport behavior: normal to want, possible to achieve

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  • Pretty telling that Garak compares Bashir to a computer when he himself is a massive computer nerd who’s constantly downplaying it as “a hobby”. Your day job is the reason we invented punchcards and your night job is the reason we invented the entire field of information theory. What’s that? You’re catching up on some Enigma tales while codebreaking for the war? Ok Alan Turing. I’m sure you barely think about computers at all.

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  • "Linux makes up 15% of all OS" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person has 0 Linux machines per year. Linux Georg, who lives in cave & makes 10,000 Linux devices each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

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  • Making sure my Zoom camera is tilted at a Dutch angle to indicate to my coworkers my psychological madness

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  • sent by Anonymous

    how does someone process trauma they know next to nothing about?

    I'm currently in therapy, my therapist is really good and all, specialised in EMDR and trauma focused CBT. she's very good, it's just... she's specialised with PTSD patients who aren't dissociative. she knows what dissociation is, she's just not used to working with dissociative patients who forgot their trauma.

    she tells me to think of a distressing event that happened to me so we can work on it, and I really can't think of anything. for now we worked on more recent and distressing but not traumatic events, e.g. breaking down at work, why it happened, working on the causes and how to help it. I made some progress but every time she wants to really help me, I don't know how to start remembering. it's frustrating for the both of us and it's making me want to quit therapy at this point

    am I doing it wrong at seeing an EMDR therapist instead of someone more specialised in dissociation?

  • answered by sysmedsaresexist

    I wouldn’t say you’re doing it wrong, I want to tell you to be patient. Your therapist may not be specialized, but it doesn’t mean they can’t help you, especially if you’ve clicked and feel comfortable with them. You might try asking if they know of any specialists, or ask them to look into the three phase approach.

    Treatment is generally the same for ptsd and cdds but people with dissociation move at a MUCH slower pace. It can take years before the actual trauma will show itself.

    The most effective treatment for CDDs is a three phase approach.

    You don’t actually process trauma until the second stage.

    Normally because you still don’t remember it.

    Phase 1 is focused on stabilization, building skills and learning to manage emotions. It’s just getting you in a headspace where you can just function and you’re building a relationship with your therapist.

    People take the importance of that relationship for granted, it’s so important.

    It’s dealing with stressful situations and more recent trauma.

    Phase 2 is trauma processing. Now that life is steadier and you’ve developed a good relationship with your therapist, you can then start looking for deeper trauma and working through those emotions. Your brain will probably not let you get to this point for a long time.

    Phase 3 is about integrating those old memories across the system.

    These phases are dynamic and people jump around a lot, they drop back into phase 1 randomly, suddenly they’re integrating, one week you do great, another week it’s like you’ve never had therapy before.

    Be patient and trust the process, and especially decide if that therapist is the right one– not based on what they specialize in, but how you get along with them. THAT’S the most important part.

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    STOP BUYING THINGS: a semi-personal mini zine on my "no-spend" month | free on my ko-fi!

    my first zine! trying something new! :D i love zines so much and have been feeling very inspired to make one lately..! sharing things like this is kind of scary, so i hope people like it! might do more zines and share it on this sideblog too, who knows...

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  • "I don't want to read this" is totally valid.

    "This is disgusting to me" is totally valid.

    "I don't want to read this because it is disgusting to me" is totally valid.

    "I don't think anyone should be allowed to read or write this because it is disgusting to me" is authoritarian.

  • Bro, blocking someone and then using their tag like this is, all offence, weak as fuck. Like all you had to say was, na bro I don't promote pedo protags on this here blog, because I wholly agree with the premise of your argument given contexts (i.e., writing abusive relationships to show the evils, great; writing abusive relationships to show the romance, yikes).

    This response is so, so comically shitty within the context of that tag, oh my god.

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    "Censorship of some topics in fiction and art is good and I would be happy if it were to be enacted in a way I approved of"

    and

    "some things should be banned from ever being written or read about in fiction"

    are both authoritarian viewpoints to hold and express, even if you don't have the power to enact them.

    If you hold these viewpoints you are holding authoritarian viewpoints.

  • Let me explain this to you in simple terms.

    Something being nasty is not a good reason to ban fiction about it.

    If we accept that "something being nasty is a good reason to bad fiction about it" then we give a foot in the door for all the people who truly, genuinely believe that queer people are nasty to ban all queer literature.

    This is not about defending bad people this is about defending the freedom of good people from tyranny, you moron.

  • I think if you take it to its logical extreme. Say, banning people from writing stories of sexual abuse. That could then be said "well ANY talk about sexual abuse is bad."

    And from that, you could ban books that talk about it irl. Or books like how to recover after being abuse. If its not something to be discussed AT ALL.

  • The fact that I’ve seen this post in some form on my dash like 100x and each time there’s new idiots who do not get that you can’t have *some* censorship.

    Either you’re for it or you aren’t.

    The moment you agree that something should never, ever exist in fiction is the moment that anything can be banned.

    Remember a while back how Tumblr banned a bunch of tags, including many popular innocuous ones that even people who are for censorship used and were upset about?

    When censorship happens, stuff YOU like can and will be banned. That’s how it works.

    Remember how a bunch of people had their accounts terminated here only last year for writing about their own sexual abuse?

    When you ban “pedo” topics, say, any talk of child sexual abuse in any form, that means people can no longer write about their own experiences. It means people cannot educate others so they can learn how to protect themselves or get help from these situations.

    Censorship is authoritarian. Full stop.

    Even if “everyone” agrees something is “gross” and “shouldn’t exist,” that does not fucking matter.

    Do you know who generally believes queer people are gross and shouldn’t exist??

    The same people who are banning books left and right solely because they have queer characters or relationships.

    The same people who attack and kill queer folk for simply exisiting.

    This is not just some fandom matter or a case of being chronically online.

    Protecting freedom of expression is essential, and if you do not get that, I don’t know what to say to you.

  • And the people who keep bringing up child sex abuse as a reason for censorship are doing it very specifically because everyone feels like then they HAVE to agree with the person in favor of censorship.

    It’s not that there isn’t widespread societal agreement on this. It’s that they want you backed into a rhetorical corner where you feel compelled to agree with them.

  • Also, like, we KNOW how this shit shakes out in fandom because it's happened before.

    In 2007, Livejournal capitulated to the "pedophilia and sex crimes!" cries of (hate group) Warriors 4 Innocence, and you know what communities got shut down? Slashfic communities. Sexual assault survivor support communities. Authors who'd written non-smut m/m fic even got caught up in it. It was DEVASTATING to fandom spaces. I think pretty much everyone knew at least one person whose account was literally DELETED, or were a member of a community that was wiped off the map because they were considerate enough to include topics like "sexual assault" or "BDSM" in the profiles under the badly-named category of "interests" to indicate that posts on said blogs or communities may include discussion of things like that. Even if it was for a SUPPORT group. And it was because a group of religious bigots came to LJ and said essentially "EVERYONE thinks it's gross and that it's promoting CSA, we should ban it."

    Like, strikethrough and boldthrough were a large part of what propelled AO3 out of a more unfocused conversation on one person's blog about hosting a site INTENDED for fandom content, into being an actual archive and nonprofit. And it's a large part of why you won't find AO3 banning topics that you find "gross".

    Censorship is authoritarian and it will ALWAYS have more collateral damage than you can imagine.

  • Going to add that fiction which had sexual abuse and communities which played around with it as a writing topic are the very things that protected me from irl sexual abuse when I was a teenager.

    I was in a dicey situation, and realized that while my situation did not match up to any of the superficial or textbook cases mentioned in passing (if at all) through school, it matched up a LOT to what I'd learned about irl sexual abuse through works of fiction and the rhetoric of my communities. I got out of that situation and dodged what was, in retrospect, one hell of a nasty bullet.

    If it hadn't been for that "nasty" fiction and those "nasty" communities, I would very likely have been abused, and subject to further violence spiraling out from that abuse.

  • Yup! It really is, in fact, pretty much that simple:

    "I don't think anyone should be allowed to read or write this because it is disgusting to me" is authoritarian.

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  • semi-regular psa that depending on where you live, getting a few doses of narcan might literally be as quick, easy, and free as pouring river water in your socks. it's small, light, and easy to carry around in any kind of bag bigger than a wallet; it's simple to administer; it doesn't become hazardous after its expiry date, just very slowly less effective but still okay to use; it's safe to give multiple doses of it in succession; and it won't cause any harm even if given to someone not experiencing an opioid overdose. (due to the nature of how it works it is a potion of instant withdrawal and might make someone very sick very quickly for that reason, but you can't give someone a hazardous overdose of narcan.) even if you don't think anyone in your life licitly or illicitly uses opioids it's still worth it to pick some up just in case. if you are the Purse Bitch of your friend group and have ever said something like "well what if we do need two full boxes of bandaids all of a sudden" then you simply owe it to yourself to see if a public health center near you has a free narcan distribution service.

  • For those curious on how to respond to an overdose using Narcan/naloxone, NYC’s health department has a good video on the subject. For those in NYC, their website also has information on how to obtain it.


  • always great to carry narcan, and while you CANNOT give an “overdose” of narcan, you can effectively drown somebody if you give a large dose. the “drowning” is flash pulmonary edema, and is associated with larger amounts of narcan being administered to somebody who is overdosing.

    so absolutely please get some and carry it with you, and remember that you don’t need 20+ mg of narcan to reverse an od!

  • Adding onto the last rb as someone who works in harm reduction and has given overdose reversal trainings.

    First want to say that OP your post is great but it's important to mention that you NEED to wait 2-3 minutes before administer a second dose of naloxone (the generic and frankly better version of Narcan, Narcan is a for-profit brand so if you can it's better to get the generic from your local SSP or HD), for folks who are dependent upon or otherwise regular users of opioids naloxone can precipitate pretty nasty symptoms of withdrawal, no one is gonna feel *great* after an overdose, but acute withdrawal can lead to vomiting, shakes, and a whole slurry of symptoms ranging from unpleasant to medically dangerous.

    Keep reading

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