Collecting these rn

Mc: I want cookies

Belphie: I can knock you out so you can dream about them

Mc: yeah sure you could also just kill me again

Belphie: I wish I could, the others would kill ME for killing you

im a fucking whore for when they nuzzle into ur neck. right on ur pulse point. and sigh contentedly. smile into ur skin. to me that’s the most intimate thing ever

Makes me giggle like a fool every time

For the love of fucking God let black people have characters in anime. There are MILLIONS of other blatantly white coded or Japanese ethnic characters in anime ALONE, not to mention the lack of diversity in main stream media, however I digress.

Corvus is black.

Semu is black

JABBER IS BLACK

Their English voice actors are black.

Let people see themselves in the media they consume, let characters be black, argue with the fucking wall if you insist that Jabber is not a black character cause that wall is about your IQ level baby.

apparently almost no one’s seen the video it’s free real estate comes from so here it is

Cmon it's just a nap bro. Everybody in their 20s does it. Don't be a wuss it's not even addictive lol

dash . find out your vampire clan

You belong with the Hecata!

A motley collection of necromantic vampire bloodlines, the Hecata clan are united in the pursuit of a single subject: Death. They are students of the afterlife and resurrectionists of the dead — or worse. Selling their services to the highest bidder, or acting in their own interests, there are few who can hide from the surveillance of those who can summon and command the very spirits of the deceased

You are Gangrel!

You are Malkavian!

Derided as Lunatics by other vampires, the Blood of the Malkavians lets them perceive and foretell truths hidden from others. Like the “wise madmen” of poetry their fractured perspective stems from seeing too much of the world at once, from understanding too deeply, and feeling emotions that are just too strong to bear.

lads men when you fart in front of them for the first time

xavier

he immediately goes on his phone.

xavier, ew sorry, that was so gross–uh, what are you doing?

"i'm marking this day on my calendar. it's going to be one of our anniversaries."

???? oh my god, what??? i'm so embarrassed–wait, are you ordering a cake???

"we need to celebrate this joyous occasion properly. what flavor do you want?"

zayne

oh my god zayne i'm so sorry, that's so embarrassing...

he just stares at you, then replies completely deadpan,

"i was wondering if your bowel movements were healthy. this is a good sign."

of course they're healthy, i just didn't mean to... you know... in front of you...

he then starts showing you good food to eat to promote better farting while you continue to die of embarrassment.

rafayel

"that was such a cute little toot."

rafayel, please–

"a tootie from my cutie patootie."

are you seri–

"hang on, i'm thinking of a painting to commemorate this. ah yes. i'll call it 'the passing wind'."

sylus

you accidentally let one slip while he's on the couch reading a newspaper. he lifts one buttcheek up, lets out a longer, louder fart while maintaining eye contact with you to assert dominance.

caleb

caleb, ignore that, pretend that didn't happen–

he comes closer to you, bending down so he's at waist level with you.

"do it again."

what–

"you heard me, i said do it again. i didn't get to smell it the first time."

Can I just say yes Lmao these are accurate in my head

MC: *who turns into a man during the day and a woman at night*

Ace and Deuce: *who have learned about it*

Ace: So... What are you exactly?

MC: A human? *chuckles*

Ace: No! I'm asking, which are you originally?

MC: How am I supposed to know? The “sex” field on my birth certificate was left blank.

Ace: *frowns*

MC: Why are you asking, by the way? Is my gender really that important?

Deuce: He wanted to date the guy-you.

Ace: Deuce! What the fuck? I didn't say anything like that!

MC: Aww~ *smiles* You think I'm handsome?

Ace: *blushes* Pft— No! *mumbles* They-bastard.

MC and Deuce: ...

Deuce: *to MC* Can you please formally reject him?

Giddyup

now, let’s start the subjugation.

Husband…yes husband

꧁⎝Symbiosis (Geto.S)⎠꧂

Substance: venom!Geto Suguru, f!reader, monsterfucker, alien symbiote, size kink, possessive behavior, oral (f receiving), mating press, missionary, eatin that pùssy like crazy, FERAL Geto, bréeding kink, sloppy kissing, creämpie, rough sêx, reader rides him, geto cries during sex, symbiote jealousy, hair pulling, praise “mine” kink, clït play, soft aftercare, jealous symbiote, what is bro packing?!?!, dom & soft geto (venom is def a sadist) symbiote tentacles (light), porn w/ a plot, overstimulation, marking, biting, voice kink, grumpy x sunshine, happy ending.

W/C: 16k

Masterlist

At 1:47 AM, the silence in the convenience store made you acutely aware of your own breathing. There was no hum of conversation, no music over the speakers, just the constant low thrum of the soda refrigerators against the back wall and the occasional soft click of the security camera shifting its angle.

Outside, the rain from earlier in the night had left the streets slick and black, each puddle catching the neon glow from the sign above the door. The parking lot was empty except for a beat-up sedan that had been idling for nearly twenty minutes with no one inside, and you were bored enough to consider going out there just to find out why.

Diavolo: do you know why i called you here?

MC: because I accidentally sent you my nudes?

Diavolo, no longer pouring two glasses of wine: accidentally?

Dayumn

Diavolo's demon form shows so much skin. His pants sit so low, and there are massive gaps between the fabric and his hips.

Don't look down, you thought to yourself. The prince was in demon form for official business and you were helping during a quick break. You handed him a cup of water and took a step back. Don't look down.

"Is something the matter?" he asked perceptively. You didn't usually keep your distance.

"Nothing," you lied. You pretended to be fixated on a corner of the wall. It was a great corner.

Diavolo immediately clocked your dishonesty and took a step closer. "Did something happen while I was busy?"

"Not at all," you assured. You bravely looked him in the eye and earnestly explained, "everyone here has been really accommodating. They're treating me as part of your entourage."

"Well, that's a relief," he said. Diavolo brought the water to his lips. As he drank, your eyes slid down to his navel. The prince took a gulp and you swiveled your head back towards the ceiling.

Diavolo raised an eyebrow and followed your gaze. There was nothing on the ceiling. He took another step closer, causing you to tense up. It was hard not to see all the skin he was showing.

"Is this form bothering you?"

"Not at all." Your voice cracked as you tried to say, "It's very majestic."

Diavolo laughed. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the laugh spread out from his stomach, rippling muscles as it spread upwards. He placed the empty cup in your hand. It was warm.

"If you have an interest in demon forms, I can help you get used to mine later." He stretched his wings and rolled his shoulders, preparing to get back to work.

You determined his pants must be staying up with magic. There was no way they could hang that low despite all of the movement, and be that loose, without revealing his crown jewels. Magic had to be involved. The cloth around his waist looked like it would expose everything with one quick tug, but there was no way the royal family would risk that happening. Mysterious forces had to be at play.

You didn't realize you were staring intensely until Diavolo laughed again and ruffled your hair. It startled you.

"Thanks for making sure I look good. I'll finish this up fast so you can study to your heart's content."

I wouldn’t know what to do lol