Daily existential crisis ™

they’re saying everyone without bush will be executed in 2026

jerma: listen... i just really like strawberries and bananas! (suppressed giggle) it's not- it's not weird to like fruit. to enjoy a yummy strawberry on a summer's day! (looks at chat) "strawberries are weird and gross". what?! huh?!? listen to yourself!! what are you even saying?!?

the game he's playing: [grinding corpses to viscera in an abandoned hospital]

If you're gonna say your sewing tutorial is idiot-proof, you better mean it. I'll fuck a garment up in ways god couldn't foresee in heaven. I try to darn my old socks and I full on damn the poor things.

malcolm: ugh my life is the WORST i HATE BEING A TEENAGER!!

*meanwhile*

jigsaw: hello francis

THE WAY THIS ISNT EVEN EXAGGERATING LMAOOO

person who assumes maleness as default and refuses to interrogate this: yeah this character has no gender, they're just a little Guy

Let him give it a try at least.

Gandalf arranging the traveling party for Thorin: clean, organized, a little mischievous but we have a contract so it's fine

Gandalf arranging the traveling party for Frodo: uhhhh fuckinnnn go to the bar I'll meet you there. dw about it.

ITS FUCKING REAL???

The Bongcloud Counter-Gambit: Hotbox Variation

Statistically speaking I have more or less never seen a movie in my life

Flubber?

I've never seen flubber.

Asshole

can not recommend letting your child do a big scream when they are frustrated enough. Just straight up ask them like "hey do you need to do a big scream?" And if they say yes let cover your ears and say okay GO and let them scream because you know what eventually when you're really frustrated your little person with your face is gonna look at you with their ears covered and yell "HEY DO YOU NEED TA DO A BIG SCHREAM?!" and you can just... do a big scream and it won't scare them and you will feel better too

starting a collection

i just think courtneys new legs are SO fun

Asked and answered