The Justice League was too late. The cult had successfully completed their summoning ritual, and a figure began to emerge from the crackling green rift in the air

A teenage boy in a black jumpsuit, holding a clipboard and a pen.

The figure barely seemed to pay attention and just launched into a rehearsed speech, tone bored. “Thank you for summoning the Ghost King. Due the influx of summonings, he is unavailable at the moment. I’m Phantom, and I’ll be serving as your intercessor for the time being. I am authorized to act on His Majesty’s behalf, but any larger scale actions may have a short wait time before they can go through—just a few decades at most.” His voice then picked up, tone casual. “So… whatcha looking for?”

Then he did a double take, the chaotic scene he’s appeared in finally seeming to register in his mind.

“…Err, which ones of y’all specifically performed the summoning? I need it for the file.”

Do not attempt to out-malicious-compliance the staff at the malicious compliance conference.

I'm not well-versed in modern retellings of "Pride and Prejudice" but now I'm curious if there's a single one of them that has made Darcy into a single father.

A shocking fraction of "P&P inspired" stories / character dynamics that I've seen seem to 1) make Darcy into an openly counter-cultural figure (a "bad boy"???) instead of a stiff dad friend type, as though basically all of Austen's male love interests aren't Mr. Responsible (she really said, "RAKES ARE ALL PREDATORY ASSHOLES!!!"), 2) leave out both the responsibilities to young Georgiana and Pemberly as crucial elements basically completely. Darcy is attractive to Elizabeth in part because he's a responsible family man who adores his younger sister, and who is capable of recognizing problems (including within himself and his relationships!) and repairing them with words and action. He makes her want to do the same!

The idea of removing family and professional responsibility from Darcy as a character boggles my mind. This man's world revolves around his commitments to family and friends. Any P&P "retelling" that completely removes the element of Georgiana (in a queerer adaption, Darcy could have a younger trans brother or something! You CAN be creative with Georgie here) is probably wildly missing the core themes of Austen's novel. He's a BIG BROTHER! He was made a FATHER FIGURE very young! It's thematically coherent to adapt this man into a GIRL DAD!!!

I love it when period media about ancient cultures depicts the stonework in their architecture as very rounded and blobby in a way that makes it 100% clear that the designer was simply imitating the way it looks now. Like, what the fuck is erosion? Obviously it just started out that way.

the current state of fandom needs to be old yellered immediately. im loading up the shotgun as we speak

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt. 34 (masterpost here)

*gunshot*

Jason: oooooh right down the ear canal. *ace ventura accent* like a glove~!

Dick: *laugh* you're lucky B isn't here tonight.

Tim: the guy was a rapist, i don't feel too bad.

Jason: YEAHHHH, REPLACEMENT TURNS TO THE DARK SIDE! oh shit- *grunt* whoooo, that was close.

Dick: shit, i saw that flip from three roofs over, nice one.

Jason: what can i say, wing? pilates.

Tim: *laughs*

Dick: oooooh~ how sexy.

Tim, snorting: jesus-

Jason, amused: save it for ya waynecest fanfiction goldie,

Dick: *loud cackles*

Damian: for his WHAT.

Tim, weeping: oh g- oh god, it all comes out-!

Dick: DON'T EXPOSE ME HOOD! WHAT I FANTASIZE ABOUT IN THE SAFETY OF MY OWN HOME IS MY BUSINESS.

Jason: *bursts out laughing*

*metal shwing*

Damian: ok that's the last of them on our side. the fuck is waynecest?

Jason: oh didn't you know, kiddo? the public wants all the Wayne boys to fuck.

Dick: YEAHHHHHHH!!!

Tim: ok- *snorts* Robin, Red Hood, can i come over to your rooftop? i dont like Nightwing's energy right now.

Jason: no stay over there. you're the sacrifice.

Tim: *whining* nooooo-

Dick: it's fine Red, you're underage. we filter you out.

Tim: -sorry? SORRY? FILTER ME OUT OF WHAT?

Jason: *cackles* it was- *wheeze* it was one time,

Dick: we were high, to be fair. completely off our faces.

Jason: yeah, fun trip but never again.

Damian: do not fucking tell me you googled that- *disappointed* god, Akhi-

Jason, laughing deliriously: it was his idea-!

Dick: don't you point at me from three rooftops away! you were also there, asshole. you're just mad everybody makes me the jaydick top!

Tim: GOD you remember the SHIP NAME!?

Dick: *cackles*

Jason: well im sorry- sorry, but there's no fucking way i would be the bottom! that's bad writing!

Dick: it's amazing writing, you just don't pay attention. i'm the circus acrobat with good hip flexibility and core strength. you're the guy who's used to taking it up the ass from your troubled past on the streets!

Damian, horrified and resigned: oh my god,

Jason: don't you- *bursts into a wheeze* don't you fucking- i can SEE you gyrating over there,

Dick: you see my form? this is TOP form, Hood.

Tim: i am begging you two, let me come over to your rooftop. i don't like it here.

Jason: *cackles*

Damian, dry: i'm calling childline, this is an unsafe environment.

Dick: you just stabbed like eight people,

Damian, without hesitation: and you'll be the ninth.

Lex is just mad he isn't the gay awakening

something about fmab that I love love love is that characters Ask For Help. like, ed and roy, who are both character archetypes who could easily be played off as stoic and self sufficient to the extreme, and in a lot of media would be, are capable of and do ask for help without shame when they are faced with a task that's beyond their limits. even olivier, who is the most resistant to relying on others to do things she thinks she should be capable of alone and the most determined to be on the front lines in any fight where she feels like she's needed, sits out the final battle with sig and jerso and scar because she's too hurt to be at her peak and she can Admit It. and I love that because willingness to be seek support makes the outcome, positive or negative, so much more satisfying.

Shit mandalorians send to Jango because said mand’alor told someone on Coruscant to “keep me in the loop with whatever shit the Jedi are doing in little keldabe”