i guess this is also something i think about when it comes to romantic relationships or just like, close platonic companionship (depends which you want personally). i think a lot of people look to romance to be idealistic, to save them from their pit, when the reality of it is you will likely be climbing the walls and find someone at the same point you are, and decide to climb together.
when i get asked how to make a relationship 'work', or how my partner and i's honeymoon phase 'still hasn't ended yet' (very funny phrasing) i always struggle to answer anything other than 'because it never really started'. at least in the sense some people think of a honey moon phase.
he has always been a person to me. we have cleaned each other up off the ground numerous times. ive held him while he got stitches. hes held me coming out of anesthesia multiple times now. held my hair vomiting. i held him the day his mom died. we have run to each other even when frightened or sick or humiliated, over and over and over again. i think maybe the core of a relationship is not only the times it is warm, but also the times you choose to dive in and not flinch away. that love is going to be horrific and frightening and often times involve disgusting physical substance, but because it is that person, the person you choose, you don't react in disgust. you want to take care of them. through it all, you see them.
so maybe that is my answer to people. you must see someone. and you must keep wanting to see them. not just your idea of them, not just the version of them most comforting to you, but you must be genuinely curious for them, and keep asking. and keep looking. and keeping running to them.
