The Aces Constellation

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

Hi!

Tag directory here:

Most tags are [name]posting, those are posts written/shared by that headmate. Eg #aniposting = written or shared be me, Ani. If we don’t know who it is, it’ll be #idkwhosposting

We don’t like to be sharing politics-related stuff but if we do it’ll be tagged #inflicting politics upon you, so if you don’t want to see that (relatable) do block that tag

Tiger rants are under #tigerventing, again feel very free to block that

We post about all our plant children sometimes too, those are tagged #plantposting

@gentleobservations -> our old all-of-us sideblog that is soon to become gentle’s sideblog (this blog was previously just aers)

@ace-adonis-behind-the-scenes -> writing stuff cos we write stuff

@the-adventures-of-mousebert -> the adventures of a little wooden mouse called Mousebert, cos apparently we’re doing that now xD

If you really must know our opinion on syscourse, this post sums it up nicely:

Pinned Post aniposting tigerposting eposting
catgirldragon
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“ Technically true.
”
He got the job.
”
He takes his job seriously.
”
Prof Rad over on youtube dubbed the Wolf Hunter comic (click...
zetrystan

Technically true.

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He got the job.

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He takes his job seriously.

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Prof Rad over on youtube dubbed the Wolf Hunter comic (click here)

Go check it out and give them some support! :)
(also the end killed me haha)

₍ᐢ•ﻌ•ᐢ₎

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The farmer sheared the sheep, and it was used to make a gift for Wolf Hunter, so…

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Wolf Hunter goes to the village markets.

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Wolf Hunter and his conga line of sheep.

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Wolf Hunter was looking for them for a while.

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Not a werewolf.

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The disappearance. 🐑

eposting
battle-for-dyke-island
rumade

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I’d divorce him too lmao

sustainableseparatists

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sisyphereantask

It’s never JUST about the tomatoes.

probablyasocialecologist

Basically!

Throughout the day, partners would make requests for connection, what Gottman calls “bids.” For example, say that the husband is a bird enthusiast and notices a goldfinch fly across the yard. He might say to his wife, “Look at that beautiful bird outside!” He’s not just commenting on the bird here: He’s requesting a response from his wife—a sign of interest or support—hoping they’ll connect, however momentarily, over the bird.

The wife now has a choice. She can respond by either “turning toward” or “turning away” from her husband, as Gottman puts it. Though the bird-bid might seem minor and silly, it can actually reveal a lot about the health of the relationship. The husband thought the bird was important enough to bring it up in conversation and the question is whether his wife recognizes and respects that.

These bidding interactions had profound effects on marital well-being. Couples who had divorced after a six-year follow-up had “turn-toward bids” 33 percent of the time. Only three in 10 of their bids for emotional connection were met with intimacy. The couples who were still together after six years had “turn-toward bids” 87 percent of the time. Nine times out of 10, they were meeting their partner’s emotional needs.

educatedsavage

Damn, this made me think of all the “shouting into the void” social media posts everyone makes. Just bids for connection. From ANYONE.

c-ptsdrecovery

I think that is ABSOLUTELY what a lot of that is. Our culture is very isolated (even BEFORE covid!), and we’re desperate to connect with others. I read an article one time that suggested that childcare workers stop saying that a child is “Just wants attention” and start saying that the child is “looking for connection.” We’re starved for it even from childhood.

seymour-butz-stuff

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sosayset

When they are speaking about a passion, respond to children as if you would a tenured professor at a prestigious university, and to an adult as if you would a child free of the burdens of adulthood. 

Children are desperate to teach the wonders of the world that they know, that they have just learned, and share it with anyone interested.  Adults pour passion they didn’t know they had into voluntary obligations, and crave a simple acknowledgment of that passion as being worthy and valid. 

“Dear third grader, tell me exactly why you chose <x> as you third favorite carnivorous dinosaur instead of second, as specifically as possible.”

“Hey neighbor, your vegetable garden is absolutely gorgeous this year…and no I’m not just saying that because the tomatoes you gave me last year were absolute perfection.”

salmonandsoup

And if you can’t respond to the emotional bid at that moment, let them know you heard them. If there’s a gorgeous bird outside, ask your loved one to take a picture so you can share in it together. But by god, hear them. Tell them they were listened to.

doomhamster

That *is* a response though! Telling someone “I’m busy/low on energy right this moment, but if it’s possible, I’d love for you to show me this thing later” works just fine. At least so long as you establish a pattern of actually following up on it, even if it’s just going “hey, wasn’t there a thing you wanted to show me? a bird?”

Most people hate being told “later”, but that’s just because most people who say “later” really mean “I can’t be bothered”.

eposting
catgirldragon
open-sketchbook

once again needing to remind some people that mispronouncing foreign words isn't just about not knowing how to say it; if your language doesn't have that sound, in many cases you can't hear it properly. You won't be able to hear yourself say it wrong because you probably can't distinguish between the sounds a native speaker can. It will sound right to you and you will be wrong.

Most languages use relatively similar sound inventories overall, but make distinctions others don't. And the way the our language centers work is they group these sounds together, allowing us to recognize that things within a given range constitute a recognizable phoneme. If your languages groups together sounds another language makes a distinction between, your brain cannot tell.

So everyone on those posts congratulating themselves for looking up pronunciation and saying "It's Not That Hard?" Surprise, you might have still got it wrong and can't even tell. You can look up the IPA chart and still flub it completely because what sounds right to your brain and what a native speaker will understand are totally different things!

"I might have butchered that, please let me know" is sometimes an excuse for lack of research, but it is, unfortunately, also a much more accurate self-assessment than confidently fucking it up after mouthing along to a wav file a few times.

This is one of the reasons that, historically, many people would take on or be granted new names if they stayed any length of time in another culture; it's very common for the names from one language to simply not map to the sounds of another!

just7frogsinapeoplesuit

Individual language sounds are called phonemes by the way! Most languages have 20-50 different phonemes, though some have as few as 10 and some people count tonal languages like Mandarin as having over 200. English has 44.

The human brain learns to differentiate between phonemes in childhood, so if you weren't exposed to stuff like retroflex consonants as a kid you literally can't hear them yet! It's not your fault but it will take work to teach yourself how to hear and speak them. Foreign music, radio, and film are great for learning to hear new phonemes.

chekovsphaser

Additionally: marking what phonemes are distinct in a language is called "minimal pairs". Meaning, if you changed this phoneme for another, would the meaning of the word change? Generally, if your language doesn't include the phoneme as a minimal pair, you will have significant trouble being able to hear or make that sound. Like anything else, it can be trained, but it is not so simple as "just do it"/"just look it up".

For example, in English, you don't use the sound ɐ̃ (as in pão). I have yet to meet a native English speaker who can make that sound, usually they just default to a plain a. Even though, in Portuguese, pau (pau) and pão (pɐ̃ũ) are completely different words.

The name of the country Kiribati (kɪrɪbæs) is derived from the surname Gilberts. As in, it is literally the Gilbertese pronunciation of Gilberts. Because their language lacks phonemes for G/L, the name uses the best approximation possible.

Now, that's not to say that you shouldn't try, but just be aware that your Nguyen is probably not the way that it's actually pronounced, and an effort/your best shot is worth a lot. And if someone wants to use a different or 'Westernized' name just fucking go with it.

just7frogsinapeoplesuit

I forgot to mention in that first reblog: there are over 800 phonemes worldwide! Humans can pronounce around 600 different consonant sounds and 200 different vowel sounds.

Also, the reason English is such a nightmare to pronounce/spell phonetically is because we have 44 phonemes but only 26 letters. Most languages with a written alphabet have one specific letter or letter combination for each phoneme but we don't.

eposting
antonymeanonyme
homoquartz

i’ve warmed up significantly towards the concept of small talk ever since i learned that its sole purpose is to make friendly noises.

as long as you smile and nod, people are satisfied. it’s just to show that you are nice and there with good intentions. we’re small in a big world and have to rely on other people to be decent to us. so we do our little human dance to each other to say, “i’m not here to hurt you. here’s something we have in common, like the weather or sports or itchy sweaters, so we both know we’re on the same team. we both agree on a basic fact, like that it is rainy or that being itchy is uncomfortable, and this proves we can get along. i’m being light-hearted and non-threatening right now.”

small talk isn’t to get to know a person. it’s just a greeting to affirm you’re buddies in the universe.

i am motivated by wanting the other person to know i am friendly, so i have gotten pretty decent at small talk when i used to hate it.

owlskitten

When I was a kid and would go hiking with my dad and sibling on vacation, every time we would pass another group, my dad would do the smile and nod and “hey”. And then after we’d turned a corner, he would say more quietly, “I must make friendly social noises so they do not eat my young” and my sib and I would crack up laughing.

Gotta remember that we’re mammals under it all.

teenybeegirl

I wanted to interact with some of my new groupmates in uni, and I just simply said meow meow meow to several of them

eposting
solarpunk-nightbird
caseyscraftycorner

The thing i love most about knitting is definitely that there's so many ways to accomplish the same results. Continental and English style both make the same fabric, so just do the one that you like best! Are you knitting small stuff in the round? DPNs, short circulars, and magic loop all work fine, just take your pick! Is purling giving you a hard time despite practicing? Try another purling style, or learn to knit backwards! Knitting socks? While toe-up and top-down are the two most popular styles, you can also try heel-out or knit-flat-and-seam socks! There's so many options!

There is not one singular "best needle material" or "best way to tension the working yarn". There is the way that works best for you, for your priorities and your experience.

I think sometimes people find the way that works best for them, and then start yelling about how its the best way to do it and everyone should do it. And while i get where they're coming from -- they figured out an easier way for them to do a hard thing, and they're excited to tell everyone else about it -- I think it also misses a crucial point: we are all different. We all have different bodies and different brains and different histories, and what's easiest for you might be a nightmare for me. The things you like about continental style might not matter to someone else, the things you love about english style might be the reason someone else hates it.

The diversity of Ways To Do Shit is one of the most beautiful things about this craft, and I think people forget that sometimes.

eposting