milk5:

if shes your girl then why am I in her uncles dms lowballing his ebay listings

thominyourside:

smoqueen-deactivated20251108:

going to the strip clup with pip plup

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themirokai:

lamignonette:

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Contemplating crimes….

trillium-bee:

Having gruesome nightmares makes you feel so haunted. Why am I being plagued by visions

was that real and scary or fake and scary?

existentialterror:
“fellas I’m knee-deep in a wikipedia hole (not unlike these horses), and I just
”

existentialterror:

fellas I’m knee-deep in a wikipedia hole (not unlike these horses), and I just

pinoruno:

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i love this tweet

whenimgod:

Marie Curie’s notebooks are crazy once you think about it. They’re so radioactive they have to be sealed in a lead box. Imagine a world where atomic theory is forgotten and a dude just goes “yea there’s a book that details the secrets of the universe, the machinations of the creation of existence down to its barest essentials, but if you get close to it you fucking die. The more you read it the more your body slowly disassembles into mush.” like wat excuse me

b33tlejules:

localcryptic:

do not come to my house pouring big cups of juice like this

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Having gruesome nightmares makes you feel so haunted. Why am I being plagued by visions

teaboot:

sinnerenjoyer:

whoever made the decision to make umpires wear cameras… you are a legend

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this is genuinely the funniest thing i’ve ever seen

beg for your life, tennis boy

froxictog:

prokopetz:

I will accept that housecats ordinarily do not hunt cooperatively, but whenever a mouse gets into my house, my cats will literally coordinate with each other to flush it toward me so I can grab it with my special Mouse Catching Glove and chuck into the field out back, so clearly it’s a skill they can learn.

My cat, meanwhile, carefully rotates so that she is facing directly away from the mouse at all times, because if she faced towards it, she might be obligated to do something about it.

synthaphone:

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eliv gir