when you’re a gay lion and you accidentally tried to introduce your lesbian lioness friend to one of her own exes at a gay bar and she goes into the bathroom and bitches you out for not being able to tell her endlessly rotating cast of girlfriends apart which isn’t really fair because first of all they all keep dyeing their hair different colors and second of all she keeps getting back together with different ones at different times and meanwhile you’ve been “single” for like 8 months but are spending a lot of time with one specific guy who works at your old co-op and were going to excitedly tell her about it tonight but now you’ve ruined the whole subject of dating by trying to introduce her to her own ex at a gay bar (which is a watering hole. because you’re lions.) 

I see so many online wearing so little clothing, some even none at all. I will buy them large coats to keep them warm. We must protect the weak from baring harsh winters.

the sluts are forever grateful

We are all brothers and sisters of Mankind.

Since it's watermelon season!

My grandfather used to grow watermelons, among other things, and he told me about most of this, especially the orange spot. Those are the absolute best!

My most popular post ever is getting likes again, so that means it's getting close to watermelon season!!

back on the path of the wolf

we need to bring back vintage swimsuits but specifically mens swimsuits

make 👏 men 👏 wear 👏 hotpants 👏 and 👏 onesies👏 again 👏👏👏

put 👏 men 👏back 👏 in👏 cunty👏 coordinated👏 outfits👏 or 👏so👏help👏me 👏

i love that salt and pepper come in a set. here is salt, a building block of humanity, one of the basic human tastes, essential to life on earth, absolutely fundamental.

and here's pepper. it's fine.

thsi is literally fucking killing me

blows my mind that cheetahs are apex predators. that is the single most anxious creature I have ever seen. at any given moment a cheetah is exactly one stubbed paw away from bursting into tears. that is a sad dripping wet animal, and it's at the top of the local food chain? babygirl what happened

things I learned from this post:

in conclusion, cheetahs are so fast because they are fueled by Grade A+ Ultra Concentrated Anxiety and they need that speed to run away from their problems

Destined mortal enemies reincarnating across the ages, except the destiny in question has no power to ensure that either of them takes up a suitably heroic occupation in any given life, so sometimes it ends up having to go to considerable lengths to keep their rivalry alive and relevant in circumstances that absolutely are not conducive to it.

In a past life we were warrior princes. In this one we are writing an increasingly long series of academic journal articles with titles including the phrase ": A Response to"

See Also:

to anyone who missed it:

blorbo - a favourite character

glup shitto - star wars names are fucking nonesense

eeby deeby - youre going to hell

plinko horse - a horse that was stuck in a plinko board

scrimblo bimblo - super smash bro fans can be very angry when characters aren't in a game

Me, so I can view the original meme:

bonus:

People keep tagging this as educational and I don't know what to do or think about that.

Glossary of Terms

I don’t know if I should be amused or distressed by the realization that someday this post will probably be useful to linguists.

grand central terminal. it says it right there

haven't been to a mooseheads game in person for over a year and apparently they made some changes to the arena.... the main one being a gigantic moose bust that flashes red eyes and shoots smoke out it's nose when we score

update: it's eyes turn green when the other team has a penalty

THE GREAT MOOSE HAS DECLARED A POWER PLAY

Encounter: junior league hockey god

Before hooking up with someone tell them “i’m… kinda weird down there. Like… you know in a lord of the rings type of way” and then refuse to elaborate

my shit glow when orcs are near

this website is a hivemind but gotdamn it sure is a squizard

pondering the orb (wiwaxia) ...

SQUIZARD

i hate viruses so fucking much. literally getting attacked by a fucking shape. a concept. consumes no energy. responds to no stimuli. its only existence is to fuck with you. like fuck offf

prev's tags are too good not to save

[ID: #right???

#it's not even a beast or a creature #a bacterium is at least a guy. a horrible little scallawag of a guy but a guy nonetheless

#a virus is just. a mean tiny complicated philips head screwdriver

#fuck off out of here. go back to concept town /end ID]

honestly more media should portray the anti aging industry as horrific and decidedly unhuman. it IS body horror it IS grotesque it DOES go against nature. it WILL kill you. yes.