Sometimes it’s not “your fault” but it’s still “your problem” because nobody else can fix it.
If your history of trauma causes you to respond to totally normal interactions as if you’re under threat of violence, you are likely to be a source of trauma for other people, and you should work on that.
It’s not your fault that you were traumatized, but you’re literally the only person who can fix you.
the more i talk w/ leftist friends the more i start to realize that they think culture is only defined by food or “traditional” (i.e. “ethnic”) garb and nothing else
mentioned how white americans do in fact have a common culture and they genuinely thought i was joking. culture isnt something only granted to the Cool People of Color. just feels like among progressive groups there’s this dichotomy created in which only the virtuous oppressed minorities have culture and anyone who is privileged some sort of void cultureless being
As someone with a background in anthropology, culture is everything and everywhere. It’s so all-encompassing it’s hard to even wrap your head around. Everything you do, say, think, eat, wear is wrapped up in culture. Even being deliberately counter-cultural, by consciously defying the expectations of your culture, is still an engagement with culture (often by adopting a sub-culture).
Sure, it’s the “simple”, “surface-level” things that people tend to think of, like
In your culture, how many meals a day are you generally expected to eat, and when are you expected to eat them?
In your culture, which clothes are considered “formal”, and when would you wear such clothes?
But it’s also so much more:
If you were dating someone, at what point in the relationship would you be expected to introduce them to your parents? That’s culture!
How much respect is given to artists? Are people like poets or musicians revered as an integral part of society, or is the predominant attitude “get a real job”? That’s culture!
How much value is given to education? What’s considered more socially embarrassing - academic failure, or academic achievement? What’s the intellectual landscape? Do people tend to respect experts, or denigrate them as “elitists”? That’s culture!
Which things are generally considered to be “high culture” or “low culture”? Which kinds of media and art are considered “for the masses” versus “for the elites”? That’s culture!
How are politicians treated? Do people tend to respect them as their “betters”, their “leaders”? Or are they assumed to be lying, conniving, corrupt, the worst of society? What kind of thing would end a politician’s career? That’s culture!
What’s considered more egregious behaviour - bothering other people, or asking someone to stop bothering other people? That’s culture!
If you were attending a job interview, how would you want to come across? How would you be expected to dress and behave? Would it be better to come across as very bold and confident, or humble and subservient? That’s culture!
If you found yourself in a tricky situation - say, broken down at the side of the road - would you confidently expect strangers to come and help you? Or would it seem really weird for some random person to come and involve themselves in your situation? That’s culture!
How are you expected to communicate? Is it seen as rude to be very blunt and straightforward, or is it considered rude to beat around the bush and make allusions and try to soften what you’re saying rather than quickly getting to the point? That’s culture!
I could go on (boy could I go on). This is so not meant to be all-inclusive; this is just a tiny sample of the things that make up “culture”.
To put it bluntly, a lot of the time the word “culture” seems to be used to mean, essentially, “the things that make people of colour different from white people”. Oh, this guy eats this different kind of food; that’s culture. This lady wears these clothes to a wedding; that’s culture. But we white people, we don’t have “culture”; we just do what’s normal. But it’s all culture! Everything! All of it! And culture isn’t just the result of where in the world you come from - class, occupation, rural/urban location, minority status, political affiliation, all these things and more can result in cultural differences even within a small area. Multiple cultures often co-exist, blend, overlap, and borrow from one another within the same place, which is especially noticeable in places with legacies of migration. People bring different cultures from around the world, and these interact with the dominant culture in all sorts of interesting ways. But a culture being dominant doesn’t mean that it ceases to be a culture.
Claiming that certain groups of people (generally, whoever is the dominant majority group in a particular context) “don’t have culture” is just as dumb as when people claim they “don’t have an accent” simply because their accent is the most common one where they live. There is no “default”, every deviation from which is “a culture” or “an accent”. Everyone has an accent. Every community, everywhere, has culture(s). If you aren’t aware of your culture, or don’t think you have an accent, you’re probably just so used to being considered “default” and “normal” that it doesn’t occur to you that no such thing actually exists.
When I taught history, part of our curriculum included talking about how immigrants preserve their culture when moving to a new country. It was really sad how many of my students didn’t think they had a culture, because they had the mistaken definition of “thing that’s different from what’s normal in America”
It’s always funny to point out to the people who fetishize anything non-American or non-white that if they say white people have no culture, they’re saying white culture is the default.
How do you approach others of your in-group. How do you recognize your in-group in the first place. What are manners? How do you show someone respect? How does someone slight you?
How is your moral stack arranged? Is it better to be honest, or successful? Loyal, or law-abiding? Does this change for people other than you? Other than your family? Other than your in-group?
second anthropologist here with some of my own favorite things that are dictated by culture:
so like… what is time?
how close do you stand when you’re talking one-on-one with someone? what about when you’re talking in a group?
what range of volume is normal for a calm conversation?
what do colors mean? what is an appropriate color to wear to a wedding or a funeral? what’s an inappropriate color? what is the color of passion? how about rebellion? purity? holiness? happiness? how many colors even have specific meanings in the first place?
things going from one person to another. gifts, payments, favors, you name it.
a great many cultures have incest taboos - but what is incest in the first place?
pop quiz! think of the grass, the sky, and the ocean. okay. what color or colors are they? are they all different colors, all the same color, or are two of them the same color and one of them a different color? (that comes from language, actually, but language is part of culture!)
are things different? are all things the same things?
when talking about not your worldview but your actions specifically, is your culture defined by where you come from, or by where you are? what should your culture be defined by?
do you tend to think of numbers in base ten, or base twelve, or something else? how many specific numbers do you have? are all of your number-words unique, or can you put them together to mean other specific numbers?
if you have a mug that is yours (either one that you’ve had for a while or that you just bought, it doesn’t matter) and you take that mug and you give that mug to someone else with the intention that now the mug belongs to them, what does that mean?
“Great art, AI could never do this!” “Hell yeah! I love trans people! Transphobes cannot handle trans swag!” “Look at this lesbian dating another lesbian! We’re about to piss off the homophobes with this one” “POC have great cultural practices. I’m sure the racists are having heart attacks right now.””Love seeing disabled people around. Bet the ableist are peeing their pants right now.”
Oh I get it, we’re in the Bad Place.
“But what’s wrong with this?” What’s wrong with this is that often times, people leave these types of comments when it’s not necessary.
Leaving comments like this takes a moment of celebration and turns it to a moment of spite.
This is especially annoying when it’s online. Most online spaces are algorithmically based and since algorithms like to share posts that will spread controversy, comments like that are only going to attract more people to it.
Bringing generative AI into a conversation that was started when someone wanted to share their art is just going to attract a generative AI dick rider to “erm actually…” the conversation. Bringing transphobia into a conversation that’s supposed to be support of trans people will cause transphobes to enter the conversation and remind said trans person about transphobia. And so on and so forth.
If you want to show your support, keep the first half and drop the second half. Just say “you’re amazing” and move on. It’s a supportive message and it’s still a celebration.
This is also the exact same mental trap conservatives and right-wingers fall into, doing shit just to “own the libs” - then their entire existence becomes defined by hatred instead of having an actual personality
If you can’t enjoy something without thinking about how it’s pissing off someone you don’t like, then what’s even the point??
YES, thank you!
Just like being a Republican changed from being a side that stood for the individual person is now just “triggering the libs,” if we go down that same route, we will be just as lost.
If everyone is just hellbent on hating the other side, who will be around to love us?
You can’t say “look at these people getting triggered by us just living our lives” when in the next breath you admit that you’re doing it on purpose. You’re no longer just living your life, no longer merely existing. It’s not only a sad way to live your life, it also becomes strategically self-defeating.
There was this really interesting post someone did about… I think traditional Chinese makeup from one of the dynasties. And it went on for several posts/reblogs being interesting and historical, and then someone came along to post about how upset they’d be if they saw white people doing this, or something like that, and I was just so impressed because until they came along, it hadn’t been about white people for a change.
