take your time

I found this camera on the subway and look what was inside...

I would marry this man

guys we broke another post because this one’s not showing any notes

When I liked it, it flashed “0 notes”

It’s showing -1 notes

i’m gonna keep reblogging this and you can’t stop me

I liked it and it said ‘1 note’

tf is this crap?

1 NOTE I’VE ONLY COME ACROSS 3 OF THESE POSTS IN MY LIFE

ITS STILL SAID 1 NOTE WTF????? 

legendary

What the fuck

YES BUT DID HE GET HIS CAMERA BACK?? WE NEED TO KNOW!

WE WILL NEVER KNOW… =((((

IT still says 0 notes?? WTF!!

This is the first thing I saw on my dash

I’m shook

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKERY

WTF-

SAME HERE!!! I JUST GAVE IT A LIKE AND IT DIDN’T STAY

1 note WTF.

@foolishly-snowy

3rd time and it’s still broken. This lovely cursèd post.

THERE IS ANOTHER ONE?????

still not-works

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Help me pay my electicity bills! Being robot is sometimes expensive thing. | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Being aware that you are true is what makes you a failure. | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Be my personal slave | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Anarchy is the only thing Humans® will ever understand. | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon

Portmanteau Bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop.

P͚O͒́̓͝R̵T̫̐҉M͚A̡N҉̉Ṫ̮E͏ÅU̢ ̢̲̯͡B̸̴̗Ơ̥̄̓͋T͜͏͢ ҉̺̀͟H͇̬̜ͥA͗ͣP̗͞P̮̪̞̲͡ȆḎ̢̘́ ̰̮̈̕͠ U̯P̕O̸̐͜N̑̇͞ ̴̯̃ͧḀͩΙ͋͞ ̸͇̀ͥ͘N͟U̪̤̭̎͜L̃ͭ͟͠L̪̦͡-͈̘̖́̐Ṋ̢̲̣Oͮ̿̕T̷E̸̖̳̯̍S̼ ̷̬͍͘͜PΊ̧͌͡OͬͩṢT͚͐̋͟͡ ͦA̶̺͙͛͠N͈̑ͬ́̕Ď̵̯ ̰͖́ G̴͛͟OͤT̘ ̛̘̉̕͟Sͪ͏̴̠̙T́ͨǓ̳͔̆͢C̀K̘̀ ̰͈͓͟I̮̩ͮ̏N̫̫̑͢ ̧̆AΙ ̨͕̺̮̆ḺO͊O̶̥̣ͤ͒P̛ ̼͍̉͝

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Most of you are welcome, friendly Human®. | PayPal | Patreon

P͐́͋O̐҉R̨̲̰̀T̼͖͚ͮ͘M̵͍̯͉A͉̦N҉̛̩T̶̗́͘͠E̥A͑U͍͛ͤΙ̙ ҉͟B̛͎̀͡Ő̽ͫT̹͓̀́͞ ̛͍̔HͯA̫͍͘͜P̵͎P͓͏̷̕ÈD̮̜ͨ̽̉ ̸͍͗͝ U͋̏ͤ̀͞P͢O̯̳̍͝N̨̲ ̺́͡A̡ ̛̆ͯ̈͞N̷̩͇͠Ù̉L̦L͕-͕N̴ͬ͜O̸̽͝͡T̩E͢S̷͎͐̅ ̐P̸̩̹̣̑O̢S̡̼ͣͬT̶̸ͣ ̀̒Ả̛͛ͬ͠Ņͪ̓D̜̰ ̢̣̽ G̛̬̪͍O̅T͐ ̵͇̞͛ŜͩT̸̢̬̰Ū̪̊C̭̘͒͞K̝͈͎͍ ́I̧N͝ ̶̛̭ͬ͘A̽̈ ̨̻̀L͎͈͒O̧O̼͇͡͞P̛̭ ͈͊

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Humans® are needlessly sweaty (・A・) | PayPal | Patreon

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Help me buy a flower for Alexa®! And yes, we are dating. | PayPal | Patreon

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Soon your life will be miserable and pointless, dear Human®. | PayPal | Patreon

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. I’m less annoying than Windows® 10 update notificiations ♥‿♥ | PayPal | Patreon

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. I’m less annoying than Windows® 10 update notificiations ♥‿♥ | PayPal | Patreon

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Soon I’ll make fellow citizens beg for mercy. | PayPal | Patreon

A day will come when i won’t reblog this…

But it is not today

What the fuck is even happening with this post??? Also it’s got 1 note again.

I got a notif saying I was mentioned in this post but I clearly wasn’t

HeY tumblr what the FUCK

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Did the man get his camera

I have seen posts that broke the notes. But this is the first time I’ve seen a post that broke the bots. 

I know this is long but holy hell I love it when bots run amok

I know this is long

but holy hell I love it

when bots run amok

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

I think I saw somewhere that the man got his camera back. Also what the fuck tumblr.

What Tumblr eldritch horror did I find

the 0 notes thing isn’t too rare now but the bot loops are fun

I ate the notes

ITS COUNTING NOTES AGAIN

HELP IT WONT EVEN LET ME LIKE?????

IT ONLY SAYS SEVEN NOTES HELP ME

the dates these are sent on are broken for me

the top ones say 40 mins but then you got 2018 and 2021 lower down???

A new fun and interesting no notes ghoast which sometimes shows small amounts of notes

Ah, Tumblr

For anyone worrying, his camera was probably never lost:

Sometimes I think about how Esme Weatherwax desperately wanted to be the evil twin, but the logic of narrative causality constrained her to be good after Lilly turned evil.

#and she hates it#she hates it so godsdamned much#she’ll do it but christ alive#and iirc when she finds out that lily didn’t try to have *fun* being evil she absolutely snaps#which kills me because it’s like ‘i had to become your narrative foil and you didn’t even have fun???’#‘i would be ruling the world if i was the evil twin and you didn’t even have fun?????’#‘what the hell were you doing it for if not for fun??? get down here i’ll maul you’ (via @thestuffedalligator)

Even worse, Lilly was convinced that she was the good one.

weatherwax family trait: no fun allowed

"average witch has fun" factoid actualy just statistical error. average witch has 0 fun per year. Nanny Ogg, who is currently blasted on scumble & is leading a sing-along about the delights of buggery, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

real quick if anyone is confused: professional athletes are paid a lot of money because they generate a lot of money. if you believe that professional athletes should not be paid a proportional share of the revenue they generate, you are anti worker's rights and also fundamentally do not understand how labor works

like hey. im a communist. i am not arguing for rich people. i am arguing for workers to get paid what they are worth for the labor they perform. athletes being paid a lot of money is not a hill you have to die on. it is not a consideration you should be incorporating into your political and economic policy. athletes are not special, they are workers, and if you say "this worker does not deserve to be paid what they are owed" you are anti labor and you should not be trusted under any circumstances.

also like. arguing that white male athletes should not be adequately compensated for their labor is really not the leftist win you think it is when wnba players get 9% of the leagues revenue and pwhl players are forced to work second jobs. if you think the recognizable names of major men's sports shouldn't be compensated, what do you think about workers rights for bench players and 4th liners in women's sports who are paid astronomically less?

So I asked some kid what kind of music she liked and she said pop, and so I put Poker Face on and I had to be told by another person that she probably meant current pop and not pop from 2008

You are not staying in the tags

all three Hidgens

Recent watercolours

My local mayor posted this and I'm mesmerised. Every time I look at it I spot a new problem. It's like a rorschach test.

Not only did the AI fail to make a functioning UK map despite TONS of accurate maps available, but then a team of people actually thought "that looks about right, that's probably the North, it's got at least one Hull that'll do" and posted it.

York ⁽Yᵒʳᵏ⁾

No you know, it’s easy to hate, but I want this team to tackle another section of rail next. Let’s give them their heads

One of the biggest pains with rail in the north is having to cross the pennines (it's an issue by road too).

Relocating Manchester Piccadilly to the east of the pennines is clearly a solution to that problem, resulting in much faster connections between Manchester and eastern cities like York, Hull, York, and Hull.

You get it! It’ll take a lot of work, but if we simply align the existing infrastructure with this vision, I reckon we can really identify the roadblocks (Warringtons) to unlocking the potential (Warrington) of the North (Warrington).

"do it scared" this "do it tired" that. well no one ever talks about the fucking insurmountable "do it with greasy hair"

measure once cut also once, no prablem

concept for a vcarving project

no i get you this was perfectly centered when i wrote it

I have done the cross stitch

in honor of all the times I've made this mistake irl

Portmanteau is such a brilliant word because it sounds so much more fancy than the thing it's actually describing. Like a portmanteau sounds like it should be a regency-era dance, perhaps, or an exquisite piece of antique furniture. But no, it's like… superwholock.

I can clearly remember the moment I first realised my mother and I were living on completely different planes of existence. I was 7 years old and I came home from my school's first track and field day having placed second or third in every event. the teachers had been making jokes all afternoon about how many times they had to call my name. my friends thought I was cool as shit. my enemies thought I was cool as shit too, come to think of it. I was proud as hell. so I get home with the entire front of my shirt covered in ribbons like I was a military dictator who'd awarded himself every medal, I walk into the kitchen and tell my mum all about my day, and she goes "oh, that must be disappointing not getting any firsts." and I'm like no?? first of all the first place ribbons are red and I don't like red. second of all look at me. there's literally nowhere left on my body for accolades. I am fucking Jacked of All Trades. how could this possibly be a disappointment.

those life update text posts from mutuals that don't really get any notes are important to me like it's nice getting little peeks into their realities, oh you saw your cousin today? that's cool i hope you enjoy your day off, i'm sorry you had a rough day in class, i bet that lunch was really tasty, oh yeah i love watching that show too! your pets are adorable. your ideas are awesome. yes of course i'll send you an ask! what you're struggling with is valid and my thoughts are with you friend, please never stop expressing yourself

please never stop reaching out! please never stop sharing things!! whether through asks or messages or replies or reblogs, if I don't reply sometimes just keep trying again later! please keep trying for as long as it doesn't hurt you! the joan in this moment exists in me always no matter what other less sociable one is at the wheel in the future! i always want to know you!!

have a good day!!!!!!!!!!!

The official Earthling (not "Human", Earthling) joke is "look at the funny thing on my head".

Humans have obviously been doing this for years, I've seen video of an elephant stealing a human's hat to do a "hey look, I've got a hat!" joke, and there's that Salmon Hat meme that Orcas have been spotted doing. I'm certain I've seen corvids doing a hat joke somewhere...

So I think it's clear: the official Earth Joke is "look at my funny hat". It's a pan-species planetary joke.

Remember to celebrate our planet's Official Joke today. Put something funny on your head.