Tumblr Boi

jesus fucking christ

All ailments should be as easily solvable as scurvy, “oh fuck i feel like shit, lemme suck a lemon for a bit” and boom all better, which fruit cures the gnawing exhaustion that weighs heavy upon my bones since childhood?

Very stupid that I can't take the muscles out of my neck & upper back & beat them with a meat tenderizer. I think that would fix me

shane hollander leaving the 2014 olympics figure skating men's short to go be gay is driving me crazy. hollander noooo you're going to miss yuzuru hanyu skate parisienne walkways and break a world record homosexuality can WAIT you're missing HISTORY

ilya’s pre game captain speeches are one million times funnier when you remember that him and shane let what happens on the ice decide what they’re doing in bed later

ilya [knowing that him and shane have a deal that whoever loses montreal v boston tonight is doing a strip tease for the other]: im not fucking around guys. do not. fuck this up for me

Grandmas were so right about puzzles and knitting and crocheting and solitaire and reading slow and slippers and baking and watching deer in the backyard send post

Andrew Kane

okay so youre saying im strange.

easier for the owner of LED headlights to pass through the eye of a needle than to enter the kingdom of heaven.

Tiktok post by @ punkrocknerd (any pronouns).

AAAA IM SCARED THATS MY TIKTOK I DID NOT EXPECT TO SEE IT ON TUMBLR

(Thank you tho I’m glad you liked it)

The discussion in the comments was a breath of fresh air! I really enjoyed it

Women are comfortable "being weak and needing a man?" They like "being bad a driving?" Is this post from 1973?

You remember seeing any "I'm just a girl" type stuff? Girl math, girl dinner, I can't help it I'm just a girlie I need my treats and trinkets, I need a boyfriend to open jars and kill spiders for me, etc. I have a coworker who refuses to learn how to drive bc she figures her husband will always be available to drive her around. This isn't from 1973, it's happening now.

i rlly hope it gets easier soon bc i am fucking losing my mind

as someone who remembers the patriot act and all the conversation surrounding it, it's a bit... of an experience being able to remember how many people pointed out that Terrorist was a politically convenient term which could be used to dehumanise and legally strip the rights from someone and that eventually all this would be used internally. and the response was 'nuh uh only browns with funny headgear are terrorists'. and then two decades of 'fighting age males' being blown to pieces at weddings because they might have, maybe, looked at a terrorist once. A week ago a head of state is black bagged in the middle of the night by the US for being a 'narcoterrorist'. And now an unarmed, random woman - white, citizen - is gunned down by jackboot thugs and before her body is cold she is, of course, a domestic terrorist.

If you are reading this, you need to know that the moment the US state needs to kidnap you, the moment a drone pilot decides you're in the wrong place, the moment you are bleeding to death on the sidewalk, you will be a Terrorist. Because anything can be done to a Terrorist.

tumblr users love reading. you literally stopped for this post just because it has words in it

this is one of my favorite bits about tumblr

the users seem to actually prefer text posts to anything else, and treat it as a chore to play a video especially with sound

horror movies are so much scarier when the actors look like an average sampling of the human population. and the house is a little messy

when everyone has veneers and the house is pristine and tastefully decorated: (in the back of my mind) these people were hand-selected for visual appeal. this is a set. this is a story

when the actor has a little acne and there are dirty dishes in the sink: aaaaahhhhh this is just like Me and My House ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

when everyone has veneers and the house is pristine and tastefully decorated: (in the front of my mind) these people had it coming

WHAT