i neeeeed more fics with the girls doing the most insane shit ever. physically, i mean. like. idk how to phrase this but im actually sick to death of girls being cute i need them to go camping & for rumi to dig a hole for six hours & come back covered in dirt & for mira & zoey to be like how was it babe & rumis like. thumbs up. gonna cut down a huuuuuge tree tomorrow do u wanna watch
also like. the whats the word for a face without makeup. bare faced? that was HUGE. & how they belch & shove food in their mouths. i need them to have a belching competition. i need them to stare into an empty fridge & be like. we're gonna PERISH. do u think i can eat this...........cucumber? (half melted from age). from another room: OMG DO IT. from ten hours later: livestreaming from the hospital hey hunterssss we are totally fine but just a psa if u see a cucumber that looks like THIS (photo) DONT EAT IT
some brave fan reaches out & is like. were u guys ok? & zoey replies w sad face. my ass exploded
rumi edits a photo of zoey to have no ass like literally just photoshops the ass out & tweets it. sad face. her ass exploded
fans throw a funeral for #koreas ass & miras like SHES ALSO HALF AMERICAN DONT FORGET & all the tweets get edited like. immediately. sad face. her korean-american ass exploded
rumi tweets AGAIN the next morning. email from celine @ 2.13 am: no more ass exploding tweets
the screenshot has her listed as celine (eomma) which. privately causes a HUGE tail spin & whatever. but the fans are like aw thats cute. do u have another celine in ur phone? so rumi tweets a screenshot of her celine contacts n its just like. every time celine changes her phonenumber rumi doesnt bother to delete it she just renames it smth wild so its like:
celine (abducted by aliens)
celine (abducted by ghosts)
celine (bad haircut)
celine (bungee jumping in cancun)
celine (cat whisperer)
celine (hair stylist ACTUAL HAIR STYLIST CELINE)
celine (dogs ate her sadface.emoji)
celine (wrong number)
celine (wrong number 2)
maybe like three years later theyre in an interview & the host is like girls what is ur greatest fear & zoey lunges for the mic & they have to wrestle it off her but she gets it & shes like OKAY SO YEARS AGO - DONT YOU DARE TACKLE ME RUMI - YEARS AGO I ATE THIS NASTY CUCUMBER - MIRA STAY WHERE YOU ARE IM SERIOUS I'LL PUT MILK IN YOUR FAKE MILK - I ATE THIS NAAAASTY CUCUMBER AND WENT TO THE HOSPITAL & MY GREATEST FEAR IS THAT THE CUCUMBER IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE & IT'S GONNA COME BACK FOR ME. n the girls stop trying to steal the mic back bc like. it IS what they thought she would talk about but its NOT what they thought she would say n rumi is like
what do you mEAN its out there?
& zoeys like. its a demon cucumber. it was unholy what it did to me. you were there, you remember
rumi: i quite literally will never forget
zoey: it wasnt natural. its out there. alive. waiting. waiting for me to lower my guard
mira: i actually hate that im never gonna be able to eat cucumber again. because you're right
zoey: BECAUSE IM RIGHT
host: lets cut this, hm?
months post half-demon rumi reveal. zoey is standing in her doorway n rumis like oh hey whats up babe
zoeys, uncommonly serious: rumi. i need u to be honest with me
rumis: omg????? okay?? yes ofc??
zoey: did u poison me with that demon cucumber four years ago
rumi: okay goodnight zoey
zoey: DID YOU DO IT. DID MY BELOVED GIRLFRIEND TRY TO KILL ME
rumi: it wasnt a demon it was rotten
zoey: ..... but did u -
rumi: NO. i didnt leave it there & i didnt tell u to eat it & also i didnt try to poison you????
zoey: ... will u protect me from-
rumi: if there is such a thing as a demon cucumber. i will protect you with my fucking life. but there isnt. and i didnt poison you
zoey: okay. i believe you. and i love you
later, when a horde of demon cucumbers attacks them
rumi & mira: what the fuck
zoey: I KNEW IT
mira, pacing in their bedroom: what does this MEAN though. not just for our ancient classifications of demons but like. the hospitalisation. she DID eat it. can you . eat demons? are they poisonous? is she ACTUALLY okay? what the fuck?
rumi, on the edge of the bed. elbows on knees, fingers steepled. ten thousand yard stare: i.....i dont know.
i just feel like the thing i would do immediately after finding out i still had magic honmoon powers but didnt need to fight demons anymore is that i would probably try to figure out what is the biggest dog i can hold in my arms & carry like a baby.
