my dad (Maori) works on a ship with all Maori/Tongan/Samoan fisherman- and one Aussie guy called Jake.

And that wasn't done on purpose just sort of how it ended up, but Jake recently got an injury so they put him on a Different boat just for a little bit (a sit in the wheelhouse and scout type of boat, instead of the main fishing one) and he only got back to my dad's ship today and he was apparently like Shaking. He was Traumatised.

Dad said Jake kept pulling him aside and going "They were all yelling on there, but in a MEAN way" "They didn't clean... Like at ALL"

Jake experienced what a boat full of old school Aussie fisherman is like. That is the norm Jake. You just happened to be on the all Island boy boat on your first go out. "It was time for dinner and they had FROZEN nuggets" Jake that's what they have on ships that are out at sea for months at a time.

On my dad's boat they are eating fresh fish and coconut milk Ceviche. They're grilling steaks on an open bbq on the deck that probably is not regulation. All the guys have their own special knives to prepare sashimi every couple days. Everyone is happily doing their own work so they can clock out early and set up a movie on the deck. Jake did you genuinely believe that's what every boat was doing.

Local Australian man is fed fresh juices and smoked fish for first time- refuses to go back to beef jerky boat life

jake that first night when they served a freezer tray tv dinner and not an overflowing plate of fish that's probably going for conservatively like $40-$80 bucks a kilo but the guys decided Eh we'll catch more let's just fry it up:

my dad (Maori) works on a ship with all Maori/Tongan/Samoan fisherman- and one Aussie guy called Jake.

And that wasn't done on purpose just sort of how it ended up, but Jake recently got an injury so they put him on a Different boat just for a little bit (a sit in the wheelhouse and scout type of boat, instead of the main fishing one) and he only got back to my dad's ship today and he was apparently like Shaking. He was Traumatised.

Dad said Jake kept pulling him aside and going "They were all yelling on there, but in a MEAN way" "They didn't clean... Like at ALL"

Jake experienced what a boat full of old school Aussie fisherman is like. That is the norm Jake. You just happened to be on the all Island boy boat on your first go out. "It was time for dinner and they had FROZEN nuggets" Jake that's what they have on ships that are out at sea for months at a time.

On my dad's boat they are eating fresh fish and coconut milk Ceviche. They're grilling steaks on an open bbq on the deck that probably is not regulation. All the guys have their own special knives to prepare sashimi every couple days. Everyone is happily doing their own work so they can clock out early and set up a movie on the deck. Jake did you genuinely believe that's what every boat was doing.

Local Australian man is fed fresh juices and smoked fish for first time- refuses to go back to beef jerky boat life

one time this nondescript guy came into my dunkin donuts and ordered a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot, and for some reason that peculiar order stuck with me so much that when, seven months later, i saw him in the parking lot walking towards the door, i quickly made a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot. he ordered it and i was already holding it. 

i would describe his demeanor that second time as “incredulous”

What the fuck who drinks that

it’s such a perfectly bonkers order because like, most unusual orders are maximalist and sugary but this one just combines the most basic drink with the most incongruous little add-on. it’s the order of a simple, regular man who has something wrong with him

this post always makes me laugh. this guy has the weirdest drink order and he probably never goes to this dunkin’ if it took seven months for the barista to see him again. so think about a coffee shop you go to so little you’re not even sure if you’ve gone there before and you walk in and the barista hands you the drink you were about to order before you even ordered it. he will remember that for the rest of his life

“it’s the order of a simple, regular man who has something wrong with him” gets me every time.

World Heritage Post

This has gotta be one of the funniest things I've ever seen. 😂😂😂

Remember to eat, my loves! There's a whole world of delicious joy awaiting you!

Maria Skłodowska-Curie's notebooks are crazy once you think about it. They're so radioactive they have to be sealed in a lead box. Imagine a world where atomic theory is forgotten and a dude just goes "yea there's a book that details the secrets of the universe, the machinations of the creation of existence down to its barest essentials, but if you get close to it you fucking die. The more you read it the more your body slowly disassembles into mush." like wat excuse me

villain going to the goon shelter to pick out a new henchman

this energetic and diabolical boy was rescued from a goon hoarding situation… he loves pulling levers, gloating, and turning cranks with great abandon. prefers to be the only goon. needs an active lair with plenty of enrichment.

now this fella comes with some baggage. his previous villain was going to have put down when he refused to perform unsedated human vivisection as a form of torture. one of our agents intercepted the execution and brought him to the goon shelter. would thrive in an environment of G or PG-rated villainry.

on the other hand, if you’re looking for something a little more… advanced… then this fine lady over here would make a great challenge for an experienced villain able to set firm boundaries. she will NOT be released to first-time villains; proof of prior henchpeople must be demonstrated before adoption approval. high prey drive. under no circumstances should she be left alone with children or small animals. must sign waiver releasing the goon shelter from responsibility if her behavior is deemed excessively depraved.

These two are pair-bonded and may only be adopted together. Up for anything, they are fiercely loyal to their employer provided their needs are met and they are permitted to hold hands. They look alarmingly similar to one another but it is undeterminable whether they are close blood relatives or lovers who choose to dress and style themselves in identical ways. Habit of finishing each other’s sentences with rhyming couplets; we have not attempted to train this out of them. Will answer to whatever names or titles you give them so long as they are complimentary and/or rhyme.

Will you help this goon find his forevil lair? He’s been returned to the goon shelter six times now but we refuse to give up on him. A vile little rat of a man, he’d be the perfect accomplice to someone willing to overlook his unfortunate heterosexuality. If gay-coding is not your style and you don’t expect it from a henchman, please consider giving this little guy a good home in your dastardly schemes.

This guy is not your typical goon. He was rescued from a high-kill shelter after being deemed unfit for henching. His deep baritone voice, his darkly handsome good looks, and his flair for the dramatic have made prospective employers pass over him time and time again, making him the longest resident of the goon shelter. But don’t judge a book by its cover—while his appearance and demeanor suggest “villain”, his real passion is taking orders and faithfully serving a master. If you’re secure in your villainry and not prone to jealousy, he may just be what it takes to turn your base into a lair.

It is still sooooooo fucking funny that tumblr, the "fuck that old man" website, the villain apologist website, AND the paranormal boyfriend website read Dracula and went "Count Dracula sucks, we hate this dude." Planetary alignment levels of unlikely.

— Astrid Lindgren, author of Pippi Longstocking, 1978 Peace Prize Acceptance Speech (via jillymomcraftypants)

What a legacy. We’re so lucky to have had her.

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

OP the tags!!

“Years ago a friend of mine had a dream about a strange invention; a staircase you could descend deep underground, in which you heard recordings of all the things anyone had ever said about you, both good and bad. The catch was, you had to pass through all the worst things people had said before you could get to the highest compliments at the very bottom. There is no way I would ever make it more than two and a half steps down such a staircase, but I understand its terrible logic: if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.”

— I Know What You Think of Me, Tim Kreider for the New York Times

after YEARS of seeing this quote online and finding it to be the most deeply and resoundingly profound writing i finally found the source article and absolutely nothing could prepare me for this opening paragraph

Okay but the whole article is really interesting and also contains this quote which I’ve never heard before but really like:

“Anyone worth knowing is inevitably also going to be exasperating”

My rule of thumb with cooking and picky eaters is that I'm fine with people being picky, but I'm not ok with people lying about it. So if you've got a long list of things you can't or won't eat, give me the list, and I'm fine with cooking by it. Like literally just write a google docs with all your Yucky Ingredients on it and I can find a way to cook with whatever's left that isn't on the list.

But if you go "no I'm fine with anything it's ok I'll eat it :)" when I ask you what you will and won't eat, and once the food is on the table then you go "ew yuck it has Bad Ingredient, I can't eat this :(" I'm going to beat you with a frying pan.

It' still feels kind of odd to me that people in my boyfriend's family just don't say "thank you". It's just not a habit that they have, they don't thank each other for small favours or for doing things they already agreed to do.

When we first started dating, my boyfriend would often answer "why?" or "for what?" when I thanked him for something nice that he did, and I was just as confused by his reaction as he had been with me thanking him for something as little as making me a cup of coffee, every single time he did that, even though he did so every morning. At first I thought it was just a him-thing, but once I got to know his family better, I noticed that it really just isn't their custom.

It took me a bit longer to understand that saying thank you for something is something they'll do for unexpected things, like an unprompted gift that someone got you because they saw something little at the market that they thought that you'd like, or running an errand for you that you had been procrastinating but never asked them to do. When someone goes out of their way to do something that they had no obligation at all to do for you.

And they don't see helping family as an optional favour, it's just what you do, just like eating from plates and wearing shoes on your feet. Being thanked for something so obvious would be downright insulting, like someone thanking you for flushing the toilet or your boss thanking you for showing up for work sober when you've never given indication that you might ever do otherwise.

For them, being helped by family, and helping them in return, isn't a rare treat or special privilege, but a beyond obvious fact of life.

I just started Artifical Condition, and I am obsessed with the fact that Murderbot immediately accommodates for ART when they watch Worldhoppers together. It lets ART pause to process the death of a main character, rewatches an episode with it three times when ART is relieved that the character is actually not dead and agrees to watch the final episode of that storyline by playing it two minutes at a time because ART got scared of the ship in Worldhoppers being catastrophically damaged and the crew being killed.

It even puts up a content filter because ART got so upset about the next media they watched being inspired by a real story of a transport being badly damaged and parts of the crew being killed.

Murderbot cares so much, even though it knew ART for only a few cycles at that point.

If you're white, listen to this white lady then hit reblog

I love this so much

It’s not her fault! Cats are really bad at object permanency.

I like when he shows her the toy at the beginning and she does a little hand gesture like “YEAHTHATs the shit I like!”

This is Messi! He’s a male puma from Russia!

He was bred in captivity and was afflicted with health problems and 30% smaller than average for a male puma. As a cub he was in a petting zoo, and due to his health issues, he was unable to be rehabilitated for wild release.

So this Russian couple adopted him. He goes to doggy obedience school. Walks on a leash, wears puma jammies on cold days. Lets his owners clip his claws. And is 100% living life as a house cat.

Messi is NOT domesticated. Messi is tame. He’s been around humans his entire life and has no reason to fear humans. Messi is an exception, not a rule.

He also has an Instagram and youtube accounts.