when my shelter cat passes by me, he pauses for a second, and looks up. He is waiting for me to lean down, and touch my hand against his side, so that when he keeps walking, my hand skims across his fur. he doesn't really need attention. he has his own thoughts and plans. but after more than a year of living in our home, he has come to expect a moment of kindness whenever he crosses my path. if I don't do it, he will follow me. "where is your hand?" he asks, with his plaintive and impatient eyes. I give it to him. he bumps against it like a balloon before wandering away. this is a poem to me

you can never go back. this is your one life. you had a bad childhood and that's it. you lost your teen years to mental illness and that's it. you're miserable in your 20s and that's it. you just go forward

skyrim fans NEED a new game bro

doing an english vocabulary test even though i'm a native speaker (i guess i've just hit a certain level of boredom). i like these alternative words for headache. this is giving me a headouch. i think we should start using that. My Head Ouchie Mama

YOURE JUST GOING TO NAME DROP ELDER SCROLLS VI AND LEAVE TODD, FUCK YOU

burn it 🔥

(he/him) 🐇

(experiencing a minor inconvenience at the airport) this is so awful i'm going to (remembers suicide jokes hurt the people around me) highjack a plane (remembers they don't like it when you do that) and land it (remembers that i want to impress everyone) badly, by crashing into a big building, killing everyone aboard (remembers suicide jokes hurt the people around me) except me.

I sincerely cant remember the last time that staff rolled out a feature that improved this website in any way

every single school teacher should get paid $300,000 a year minimum and ICE agents should all die simultaneously in agony. this is my congressional budget plan

Me in 2006: I’m still bitter about that

Me in 2016: I’m still salty about that

Me in 2026, probably: I’m still umami about that

Might fuck around and paper my town with these. Feel free to join me.

I think when im done with tumblr I'll just post an image of a dingy, bloodstained stairwell, caption it something like "I don't remember having a basement" and then just never post again

with the US mars sample return mission officially cancelled and the samples sitting on the surface of the planet doing absoltely nothing, china has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever