has anyone figured out how to turn off the thing where you love your pet so much it slides inexorably into grief-borrowing

i just have to make an appreciation post about will getting white girl wasted every now and then. it's such a hit or miss with drunk guys, especially with hockey players who are supposedly the peak of masculinity: a lot of aggressive macho posturing or silent brooding and staring into the distance and refusing water lmao. but in all the clips and pics of will being drunk, he's always so bright and rosy and really, really giggly. like he can't stop smiling. then he drapes himself over men's laps and stands on tables and probably shows off his dance moves, considering how many guys on the team have had something to say about his "nice hips". and i bet that he's the guy grabbing everyone's shoulders, eyes blown wide, insisting that this is his song actually, no seriously listen listen listen—before immediately forgetting the point and bursting out laughing again. and then he gets to mack and he grabs his head with both hands and says something insane like, "if you were a girl i'd wanna fuck you so bad," and mack just blinks at him, processing none of it, while will's thumbs dig into his jaw. then will's eyes widen and he goes, "sorry—i'm so drunk," before he turns on his heel and goes back to his one-man dance floor.

its so important to me that in the show shane has no complaints about ilya physically picking him up. like book shane throws a fit about this and insists on being put down immediately. but jacob tierney really said no this man loves his #uppies. and thank god for that.

baking bread is awesome its fun it costs like 6 cents for a loaf and its easy as hell and if you forget about the dough in the fridge for a couple days it becomes more delicious and you can lure housemates into the common area with the smell. and if you dont finish eating it you can turn it into other stuff. #BreadLiker #WheatEnjoyer

I didn’t understand a word he said in this interview and I 💯 do not care!