Masculine and feminine are adjectives, language was invented to describe abstract constructs. I describe myself as a feminine man because I am a man who enjoys things traditionally associated with femininity and my appearance reflects the features associated with women and femininity more than the ideals of masculinity. This is noticeable in a culture with a strict gender binary that punishes gender non-conformity. I don’t think trans people using things like “feminine presenting” or “masculine presenting” to describe themselves is ‘perpetuating gender roles’ the gender roles are already there and we are acknowledging that we are not following them. The features, activities, clothing and interests associated with femininity and masculinity are arbitrary but they are given meaning in this society and I do not think acknowledging them is inherently regressive.
they pronounced her dead and tried to give her a proper burial 😭 this must have been terrifying in the moment but that’s a little sweet and a little funny, I’m glad she made it out unscathed
I want to take the hand of every trans man and transmasc out there who just figured it out/cracked the egg/what have you and let them know that masculinity is not equivalent to monstrosity. Being a man, being masc, is not a bad thing. Masculinity is not aggressive, it isn’t gross, it isn’t stupid, it isn’t a downgrade.
I want to tell them that masculinity is worth being celebrated. It is strength and loyalty and confidence. It is the trust in someone to lean on, it is stability in crisis, it is dedication and pride. I want to tell them that they are becoming something handsome and worthwhile and interesting.
I want to tell them the things I wish I heard when I was in their shoes.
The fearmongering around medical transition for transmascs will never not be upsetting to me.
“you’re gonna look ugly as a man” “but you’re such a pretty girl, don’t change that” Wrong. You will look different after T, but you will look happy. You will probably grow hair and gain weight and look pretty different, and none of that is bad or makes you less desirable. You are going to look like you and that’s all that matters.
“T makes you angry” “you’re gonna be a scary man i won’t feel safe around you” Wrong. Testosterone does not “make” you angry. Messing with your hormones will mess with your emotions for sure, but you will not immediately become some scary predator when you start T. Being a man/masculine does not make you a threat, a predator, or inherently angry. That’s radfem shit.
“bottom growth is gross” “no one will want you with bottom growth” Wrong. Bottom growth is cool and a LOT of guys end up loving theirs a lot more than they thought they would. For a lot of people it is a desirable trait, there are people who find bottom growth hot and attractive. And! If you’re sure you don’t want it there’s things you can do to work around that, just talk to your provider.
“bottom surgery is super painful and not worth it” First off, call it phalloplasty, because that’s what you’re talking about. Second, yes it’s painful, it’s surgery. There are risks to it and complications can happen, but that’s true of any surgery. Phallo might not be for you, but it is life saving care for other folks. It is beautiful and should be talked about as life saving care and not as some afterthought thing that no one actually does.
Being transmasculine is a beautiful thing. Transitioning medically is not something every trans person wants, but if you notice yourself holding back for the reasons i’ve listed above (or similar) maybe reconsider.
Tell that butch that she can take T and still be a lesbian. Tell that “tomboy” that he shouldn’t need to hide to keep his friends. Tell that newly-out teenage boy that he doesn’t need to be scared of growing into a man and that it won’t make him a monster. Tell that she/they enby that whatever hormones they take or not it won’t matter, she’s just as trans as the rest of us are. Tell that intersex trans man that he doesn’t owe anyone his “”real”” AGAB. Tell that late-transitioning masc enby that their new body is the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. Tell every transmasc and trans man you see that manhood and masculinity is beautiful and meaningful and desirable, and that anyone who tries to make them feel as if they had more value before coming out isn’t worth the time of day. Tell them that their smell and body hair and weight gain isn’t shameful, that they won’t be ugly if they go bald. Tell them you love them just as they are. Tell them.
