Vegetables and Laser Guns
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That’s because this is Silmarillion
(via myriadhallauglokadis)
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Barbarian Ross
Man’s about to turn you into the scene of a happy little accident.
(via edderkopper)
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it’s a shame kelsier takes so long to show up in the stormlight archive. i want the sitcom version where kaladin somehow gains access to a seon in like words of radiance and starts asking master thaidakar for advice and 100% of the time his advice is “kill some nobles”. worst of all it’s actually solid advice 100% of the time
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Servant: Your highness, a party of adventurers has answered your call for help.
King: Excellent. What are they like?
Servant: One of them is a dragon-lady.
King: Interesting. Those are rare around these parts.
Servant: Another is a goblin paladin.
King: Not a role you usually see goblins in.
Servant: A third is a purple-skinned tiefling.
King: I didn’t even know they come in that color.
Servant: The last one is a sapient gelatinous cube.
King: What. How did these four even meet?
Servant: They met in a tavern two hours ago, apparently.
Queen: My love, please return to bed.
King: *pacing* Why would a gelatinous cube come to a tavern? Can it even get drunk? How did it fit through the doors?
(via erdsthenerds)
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Say what you will about Brandon Sanderson, but he knows what women want*.
*to eat metal and kill giants while their trophy husband grows sexier by the day
*to make earth shaking scientific discoveries while in a toxic relationship with a beautiful, immortal crab woman
*pirate time with rat friend
*to possess their boyfriend so hard he swaps gender
*to solve crime with their two zany sidekicks
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I’m getting back into Andy Serkis’s audiobook of Lord of the Ring and the fellowship just reached Lothlorien.
Celeborn sees Aragorn and says, “Eight and thirty years have passed in the outside world since last you were here, and the years lie heavily upon you.”
Imagine losing Gandalf, getting out of Moria, escaping the orcs, and finding safety just for your fiancé’s family to be like, “You’re aging TERRIBLY.”
(via autisticharrywells)
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