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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
cathy-inwonderland
aropride

CALL YOUR BOY LIBRARY BOOKS THE WAY IM CHECKING HIM OUT

aropride

CALL YOUR BOY A HARDCOVER THE WAY I’M TAKING OFF HIS JACKET

aropride

CALL YOUR BOY A BOOK THE WAY I WANT TO GET BETWEEN HIS COVERS

aropride

CALL YOUR BOY A BOOK THE WAY IM RUNNING MY FINGERS ALONG HIS SPINE

aropride

CALL HIM AN E-READER THE WAY IM TURNING HIM ON

aropride

CALL HIM MORE FUNDING FOR LIBRARIES THE WAY EVERYONE WANTS HIM

aropride

CALL HIM A WELL-LOVED BOOK THE WAY HE'S FALLING APART IN MY HANDS

aropride

i made this post while kayaking in the middle of a river btw

cathy-inwonderland
kalgalen

it's funny because my job involves a lot of using a box cutter, so you'd think that's the thing I'd accidentally hurt myself with the most

but nooo no no no. the box cutter is my colleague, my ally, my friend. you know what is truly bloodthirsty in a print & signage shop? literally Anything Else that's able to cut but not supposed to. cardboard, sheets of plastic, the humble paper of course, corrugated polypropylene, aluminum composite sheets - i nicked myself on a sheet of magnetic material today?? it bled. kinda profusely.

basically:

  • box cutter: a trusty companion, might hurt you if you handle it wrong, but that's understandable
  • stuff you use the box cutter on: they know you as their enemy. they know the rules of this life: kill, or be killed. they know what they have to do.
kalgalen

image

thank you. the people need to know about the real menace

bird-cannibalism
tallahasseemp3

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please read this story of a man accidentally discovering his wife is the world's best Tetris player

lichfucker

[image description: an excerpt of text that says:

“It’s funny,” I told Flewin. “We have an old Nintendo Game Boy floating around the house, and Tetris is the only game we own. My wife will sometimes dig it out to play on airplanes and long car rides. She’s weirdly good at it. She can get 500 or 600 lines, no problem.”

What Flewin said next I will never forget.

“Oh, my!”

/end id]

justahumblememefarmer

TL;DR on the article

The husband was writing an article on classic video game records, was surprised to find out that holding the Tetris record is a bit of a big deal, and mentions how good his wife is at it.

The guy he’s talking to mentions that the record is 327, way lower than his wifes usual scores of 500-600.

They travel to a tournament, and she goes to do her attempt. Just after she beats 327, and is climbing higher, a judge brings up to the husband that the specific version she’s playing actually has a different record of 545.

She overhears that she needs to beat 500-something, and keeps going, setting the record at 841.

weirdoughnut

which, they later find out, is her second-best record

mel-155-a

There was a decent but ultimately forgettable fantasy novel I read a long time ago that had a single moment that stuck with me.

The protagonist has just won the world famous sword fighting competition in the big, rich capital and is talking to his mentor, and says something about being the best swordsman in the world. The mentor frowns and tells him that no, he isn't. He is the best swordsman out of the people that could afford to show up to this tournament. There could be a mercenary way out in the mountains, patrolling a snow encrusted fort's walls that could kick his ass and there was no way to know until he was already losing to the guy.

I think about that a lot, and how for every apparently dominant competitor, there might be a fucking ronin out there somewhere capable of destroying them.

headspace-hotel

Always reblog tetris ronin lady

omnybus

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charlesoberonn
pronouncingitwang

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

yokowan

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

otiksimr
flagellant

Hey guys I made a pride flag for when your gender is nobody else's fucking business! Check it out!


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theunsubtleknife

[id: a blue green gradient, identical to the ones Tumblr displays as a placeholder before images load. End id]

tiger-in-the-flightdeck

I wanna formally thank @theunsubtleknife for the ID, because I spent a good thirty seconds waiting for this to load before sulkily scrolling on, thinking I would have to refresh my feed.

no-one-offical

mirkwood-spider-express
charlesoberonn

Servant: Your highness, a party of adventurers has answered your call for help.

King: Excellent. What are they like?

Servant: One of them is a dragon-lady.

King: Interesting. Those are rare around these parts.

Servant: Another is a goblin paladin.

King: Not a role you usually see goblins in.

Servant: A third is a purple-skinned tiefling.

King: I didn't even know they come in that color.

Servant: The last one is a sapient gelatinous cube.

King: What. How did these four even meet?

Servant: They met in a tavern two hours ago, apparently.

charlesoberonn

Queen: My love, please return to bed.

King: *pacing* Why would a gelatinous cube come to a tavern? Can it even get drunk? How did it fit through the doors?