After growing up during the I Can Haz Cheeseburger era, I'm glad that we as a society have progressed to the point of understanding that cats' internal narration should be extremely dignified and comically formal for a creature so dumb. They really are like
Sir, I fail to see which part of this situation you could possibly find amusing. Can you not see that I am stuck, trapped onto this couch by my own claw, and shall consequently die?
I don't usually wake up at four in the morning, but I fucking love being out and about at assfuck absurdly early in the morning if I happen to wake up at that time and have somewhere I need to go.
Like good fucking morning everyone on the 5:25 am bus 8D I had three boiled eggs and a white monster for breakfast and I am here purely for the love of the game.
Pure spite and zest for life
There are so many forums and spaces for support in “dead bedroom” relationships and I find it so interesting that most of the men never ask why their wife does not want to have sex with them. They never ask her if the problem is that she is no longer attracted to them specifically or if her libido has waned in general, they never ask if she’s avoiding sex because she finds some aspect of it to be unpleasant in a sensory way or if their skills in the bedroom are not pleasing and need to be improved. They just don’t give a fuck why their wife is not fucking then and either assume it’s became she is cheating on them/pulling away or because women all do sex as a transaction and don’t really like it. They just look for tips for manipulating their spouse into fucking them on a schedule and complain about how they’re not getting fucked.
Anyway, r/DeadBedrooms is an interesting read. So many of the posts from women are like “I finally found out why my husband isn’t having sex with me, he has realized he is asexual. We still love each other and we’re committed to making this work.” or “I’m in a dead bedroom situation and turn down my husband’s advances because he is terrible in bed and does not please me, has a tantrum when I criticize his technique and does not care if I enjoy the sex we’re having.” and the posts from men are like “Should I tell my wife I’ll divorce her if she doesn’t suck my dick so she will suck my dick?”
Of course, this is a broad generalization but this is a distinct pattern that repeats over and over again.
googled amazon and got pissed off that the rainforest wasnt even in the first page of results bc its drowned out by amazon (company website) amazon (company's wikipedia page) amazon (careers page) amazon (companys youtube channel) amazon (google play app page) amazon (kindle publishing page) like brooooo come ON why do i have to SPECIFY RAINFOREST you dont DESERVE HER.
im so fucking stubborn
michael what the fuck.
no its one of my fancy pencils :)
the end cap comes off :)
oh lard
my son he is sick he has every disease
we are nearing peak deviancy
happy back-to-school day
im so clever that its sickening
if i breathe wrong i'll lose him
it got too small for the clip. luckily i realized this eraser has the perfect holes
at what point does this stop being a pencil
Darn shame if this circulated…
So you mean to tell me that just by reblogging this I’m ruining an organizations plan, wasting them money, and uncovering some shitbag humans awful behaviour?
T R I P L E K I L L
Imagine if they paid THAT much money, yet it still circulated on the internet.
if this 5000 year old tree isn’t too old to realize that its trans neither are you
reblog if you support transgender Ents.
Hell yeah
Personally, I like to think that what Thor means is that if Loki really was from Asgard, he would had killed a lot more people.
#justsaying.
ANOTHER
Totally here for “GO BIG OR GO HOME: THE ASGARD WAY OF LIFE” headcanon.
Natasha: he killed 80 people in 2 days.
Thor, internally: only? oh norns this is so embarrassing he didn’t even pass the hundred mark this is so shameful
Honestly, this interpretation fits with Thor’s mindset. Remember how proud he was of the Hulk in Age of Ultron?
imagine how that scene had gone if thor had been a bit clearer…
nat: he killed 80 people in two days
thor: he– 80? eight zero? ten times eight?
nat: uh yeah
thor: lmao gimme a sec
*runs down to the hulk tank*
thor: WHAT THE FUCK IS UP LOKI HOW FAREST HE THAT TOOKETH TWO DAYS TO SLAY A MERE EIGHTY MORTAL MEN
loki: I WAS DOING MY BEST
*back in the meeting room*
nat: i feel like the culture gap between our two peoples might be a bigger problem than we realized
fury: how funny do you think it would be if thor finds out that loki personally hasn’t even hit 10 murders yet
nat: what?
fury: hey your erroneous assumptions are not my fault.
hill: he blew up the building to keep loki from escaping with the tesseract
steve: you killed those people?
fury: technically the debris killed them #government
This is so accurate, I feel like it’s a deleted scene
Literally everyone: LOKI KILLED SO MANY PEOPLE, HIS BODY COUNT IS IN THE THOUSANDS!!!!
The actual body count of Loki’s invasion: ~160
Number Loki killed personally: ~6
Thor must be humiliated. This is the real reason Odin put him in prison forever. The embarrassment having to claim that poor non murderous child as your own. *Shakes head in shame*
Odin looking at his portraits of Hela and Thor lovingly with their kill counts of ∞ (the counter only goes to 12 digits) and 000054378690 (Thor is still young) and then frowning as he sees Loki’s one reading 000000000037
thor 2 starts off with loki on trial for not being homicidal enough
odin: this is why laufey ditched you on a rock. he took one look at and thought “wtf this can’t kill anything” and yeeted you out into the snow
loki: i killed his bitchass tho
odin: ooooh you killed a whole entire frost giant, you must be soooo proud
loki: *almost in tears* i killed more than just one
frigga: booooooooo u suck
odin: jail for loki! jail for loki for Four Thousand Years!!!!!
#Loki looking at Thor captured by SHIELD being numb and pathetic: this is going to be SO funny later#and then he decides to tell Thor that their dad DIED in the 2 seconds Thor was gone for#like imagine you get kicked out of your house and a few hours later your trusted little brother calls you on your cell phone#and he's like ''Thor the stress of kicking you out killed our dad. yeah no he straightup jujst died. he's dead now. yeah :(''#''mom says we can't let you back because the neighbours are still mad you broke their window. bummer. sorry man :(''#''anyway love the images of you out there being a thot in the few hours of freedom you've had. hope you get better soon. bye :('' source @worstloki
The only more blatant possible scenario that comes to mind:
I feel so insane about ai. I've had face-to-face conversations with people who use it for therapy, who use it to calculate the safety of pill interactions, who use it for all their emails and grant applications and legal documents and academic papers and finance sheets and for every single question they have about the world, and if you tell them about the ecological costs they just laugh and say "I guess I've used a lot of water." and I've been in multiple gatherings of 10+ people where I'm THE ONLY PERSON who doesn't use chatgpt. it's turning me into a ranting raving pariah, because how don't you people see??? why don't you understand??????? this bullshit didn't exist five years ago, you absolutely do not need it, and it is destroying everything
thought of this immediately and was delighted to discover it’s the same op
I just remembered that there was once a miniature melted crayon wax art piece of Loki called 'pants on fire' that was sold by an art gallery as officially liscenced Thor:Ragnarok merch and I am loosing it
I FOUND IT Y'ALL
(source)
saw this post by @worstloki and it inspired me https://www.tumblr.com/worstloki/801503622742540288/thanos-just-handed-loki-the-mind-stone-as-a
fic in which Loki isn’t sent to Asgard on his own but instead thanks sends Nebula and Gamora with him and they go on a crazy road trip adventure to get to earth. They get attacked by pirates three times, they have to steal a part from a museum to fix Nebula’s arm when it breaks, they accidentally discover multiple infinity stones, crash on Nebula’s home world, rescue Hela without realizing who she is, go to jail and meet the guardians of the galaxy, crash land on sakaar, and finally land on earth like three yours later (the journey should have take about 36 hours.) Also they all hate eachother at first but by the end are found family.
