See this little tab? This is new York engineering at play. It keeps you from spilling hot drinks on yourself, meaning you can pull the tab open when you’re ready to drink your cawf-ee (coffee). New York is living in 2050.
debating if it would be funnier to have a bumper sticker saying “my other ride is a [exact make and model of the car the sticker is on]” or “my other ride is a [equally shitty but different car]”
2008 Honda Civic with the bumper sticker “My other ride is a 2007 Honda Civic”
So I’ve got this friend whose nervous because she’s trans and dating this guy who she hasn’t told yet because they’ve only been on a two dates. For this story let’s call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don’t worry.
So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I’m having and she can tell him she’s trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful.
She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro’s reaction when she tells him she’s trans, and that she understands if he doesn’t want to keep dating her it’s no big deal.
He’s baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn’t had bottom surgery yet…
“Oh you have a dick?”
“… yeah.”
He look’s around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says
“Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don’t worry Babe! Watch this!”
And ya’ll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride.
My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self “Oh they don’t think I can’t please my girl, but I’ll show them!”
I do feel the need to add that later he excitedly tell the group that as a straight guy, he never thought that skill would be useful outside hotdog eating contests.
“Man its too bad that im straight since I’ve got like no gag reflex and all.”
“Honey, I must tell you, i am in fact trans and I have not had bottom surgery.”
something that’s really fucked up is when a dog is licking your hand and you’re like hello dog and then the dog slows right down and tries to make the whole affair sensual
i am not a fan of this and think it’s nasty even when the dog is one of this
I am a regular guy. I can enter a space. I am a regular guy. I can enter a room. I am a regular guy. I can do that transaction. I am a regular guy. I know how to answer the phone. I am a regular guy. I know what sleep is. I am a regular guy. I know how to wake up. I am a regular guy. I know how to move through space. I am a regular guy. I know what it means to be me.
ALT
