“Am I the only one who—” yes. You’re all alone. And nobody shares your experiences or loves you. And you’re floating on a raft in a dark ocean and there’s sharks and squids trying to get you and lightning is crashing and the water is choppy and black
Every girl like me I know feels like she was born with an expiration date,
like there’s a number stamped on her forehead that says “26 years old”
that says “six months after the money runs out”
that says “when you can’t do this anymore”
that says “as soon as you work up the courage,”
and I’m one of the lucky ones, because that scares me,
Sometimes I think I have an immigrant’s patriotism for this world,
because it took me 20 years to decide that I wanted to live in it.
Maybe that’s what hope is.
But I don’t know how to say that the greatest poet I know and her girlfriend,
who looks so like me she nearly made my mom faint when she opened the door,
are probably not going to last another year.
So everybody told me to vote for Bernie Sanders.
It’s not enough.
Now people are saying this might be the end times,
but I want to remind them that we have already been living in them,
for as long as I can remember,
and I don’t know why it’s so hard to keep in contact with someone I don’t see,
to reach out across that burden of distance with the uncertain arms of exhaustion,
but I know why it’s hard to reassure somebody,
when all you can say is “I’m scared, too.”
How much money do you give somebody,
when money is the thing you don’t have?
For time, same question.
A trans woman I had never met came into my shop one day and pointed me out to her friend,
she said “you are my sister,”
and I said “yes, I am.”
So when I saw one of my sisters out on the street with a slice of cardboard, I brought her
a bottle of water and all the cash I had in my wallet,
because afterward I couldn’t stop crying for six hours,
and I don’t think anybody asked me why.
Maybe this is why there are so few things that feel important to me anymore.
I said “the only things people like me make are cries for help” and I got
128 reblogs.
Apparently, some people find that relatable.
A lot of people have told me that I’m the most optimistic person they know,
and I don’t tell them that I have to be,
I take it as a compliment.
The thing they don’t tell you about hope is that it’s cyclical,
it needs to be refreshed every single day,
Hope is just like every other kind of work you do on your body.
So what does a story mean, to that?
What can a poem mean, to that?
I abhor maintenance.
I don’t want to have to say anything anymore,
I want to walk to the place where all my words are done,
And build a home there.
It’s not enough.
All your pleas and all your promises, your fights and feats and failures, are not and never will be enough.
Not for us.
This world was not made for us.
So let’s build a better one.
Let’s start right here, right now, just us, not with a kiss or a fist but just
you and me
pledging to not let go
no matter what comes, deciding
even when the love is gone
that we’re not gonna let each other drown anymore.
So I want to offer my hand,
to every girl like me who needs it,
and walk with you into a place beyond these empires,
a place that doesn’t exist yet.
And that,
I hope,
is enough.
Because that’s…everything.
can we go one day without accusing a random fucking transfem of being a pedophile. please.
i don’t even care if it’d be substantiated. i Do Not Care.
i would just love One single fucking day where we could all go without seeing any of our trans sisters being accused of, in the ways these people mean it, raping children. jesus christ.
i’m not transfem myself but i cannot even imagine how exhausting it must be trying to just like. exist. in any kind of public space.
people are SO fucking trigger-happy with the word pedophile, in particular when it comes to transfems, that it makes me feel like i’m living in some kind of parallel universe, because like. that’s a CRAZY fucking accusation to make, particularly at a STRANGER, a RANDOM FUCKING WOMAN who is just trying to exist in her* own fucking space.
jesus christ. oh my god. you can’t just say that shit. you can ruin lives with that shit, genuinely.
and if you are one of those people who goes out of their way to stalk and harrass and target trans women you dislike, what the fuck is your deal, huh? who fucking hurt you? log off, or better, delete your blog, delete your twitter/x, delete your bsky, get offline and like. go literally touch some grass until you become a better person. christ.
(*not all trans women/transfems use she/her, obviously.)
anyway hi if you’re transfem of any flavor or variety i hope you have a nice day. please take care and log off if you need to, and be gentle with yourself if the state of things is getting to you.
i’m sorry that there’s not a lot that i personally can do to help, but there are people out here who care, i promise.
People love to say things like “Hiding Anne Frank was illegal, turning her in would have been legal” without like fully grasping the modern implications properly. You have tons of folks like “if WW2 happened today id have __” that do not realize what is happening around them.
We have this idolized AND sanitized version of what happened then, and so we do not recognize it when it happens now.
Resistance fighters assassinated nazis and blew up weapons and infrastructure and destroyed records and forged paperwork and raised secret funds and smuggled people in vehicles and yes, hid them in their homes.
“Well it’s sad he got sent to an ICE camp but he faked his permit :/“
Whoever helped him fake his paperwork did what fighters in ww2 did. People who cut through chain link fences do what fighters in ww2 did, people who blow whistles chasing after ice cars do what fighters in ww2 did, people who destroy arms factories and cop city cranes do what fighters in ww2 did, people unmask agents do what fighters in ww2 did.
People are doing it now! They’ve been doing it now! You keep saying “oh if this happened here__” it HAS! It IS!
What are you doing about it?
As someone on the front lines of the court system, I’m confirming this. It’s easy to assume that people are being hyperbolic. They’re not. People in the courthouse for speeding tickets and child support are being strongarmed into locked rooms and arrested, loaded into vans under tents behind the courthouse, and they built a fence with netting over it to prevent reporters and court watchers from photographing faces.
One local jail contracted with ICE voluntarily. We were getting close to forcing them to actually follow the rules of ICE detainers and release people if ICE hadn’t come for them. That’s over now. If anyone gets bond on a pending criminal charge, they are arrested and deported without the chance to prove innocence or guilt.
Two of my clients were victims of severe domestic violence. Nearly all have dependent children. Some of the children are US citizens. There are no questions. No support. Give your kids to CPS — this is the only option.
You know undocumented people can get a driver’s license? They can file taxes and get a tax ID? Those, the ones who tried to obey the law, are being taken out one by one, because their names are in a database that they voluntarily joined. Because they want to be here. They want to be Americans.
The judge in a case of mine gave someone a two-day jail sentence. Gone. Case deferrals for dismissal are available for all Americans; if an undocumented person tries to take the same deal, they’re gone. A child client of mine had his father disappear to ICE. A woman had her husband disappear.
It’s now. Detainees kept in horrible conditions, unfed, unwashed, no lawyers, no doctors. It’s now. Shipped to countries where they’ve never been and left without papers. It’s now. It’s now. It’s happening now. It’s happening now.
If Kurt Cobain had found estrogen and never made music again, that would've been a win in my book. She'd be alive and happy and that's all that matters.
If any closeted trans woman finds estrogen and never produces a single thing ever again, that's a win in my book. She's alive and happy.




