meret118:

dat-is-chill-ghafa:

there was a bit of a tone in a line in the gq article that bugged me a little bit merely because it compounds onto the increasing narrative that i’ve seen a minor amount of heated rivalry fans espouse, where they talk generally about how there’s no way the sex scenes are 100% choreographed, they feel so real or things with a similar sentiment.

this on its own isn’t a big deal but the “at the risk of ruining the fantasy” quote and it being insinuated that the interviewer maybe was implying or inquiring about the “realness” of their sex scenes wouldn’t be a huge deal, but seeing this alongside the increasing dismissal by wealthy actors and actresses of the importance of intimacy coordinators e.g. mikey madison (anora), julia roberts (after the hunt), jennifer lawrence (die my love), gwenyth paltrow and timothee chalamet (marty supreme) is so fundamentally problematic.

i don’t know when it became normal to almost brag about not “needing an intimacy coordinators” because wealthy actors started believing that by having one it was almost a diss to their acting abilities, to their and their costars “chemistry” but i hope more than anything, that normal people, young royals, heated rivalry, bridgerton, all of these shows keep on highlighting what sensuality and beauty can be achieved when intimacy coordinators are brought in. while it’s great and important that actors and actresses bond and can form life-long connections, sets are a PROFESSIONAL WORKPLACE. it would be a work place VIOLATION for people to just be fucking out of passion. it’s fucking weird to assume that some decisions in sex scenes are “real” and it’s weirder to be like “oh it’s hotter cuz its real”. it is a TESTAMENT to the work of the cast and the crew, it is more impressive to achieve the technical feat of following a choreographed sex scene and that should be far more talked about rather than speculation on how 2 costars MUST BE TOGETHER because of how they must have improvised a hand grab or a longer kiss. make no mistake, agreeing prior to the coordination of the intimacy coordinator what people are comfortable with, allows space for “improvised” movements, etc. but this is all part of the work!! the importance of this is espoused later in this article but also has been repeated by jonathan bailey, aimee and connor swindell on the set of sex education (who were at the time a real couple) and so many more.

not only does this trend feel like a massive spit in the face to the #MeToo movement for enshrining intimacy coordinators as a necessity on sets but it also dilutes the necessity of them for actors and extras WHO ARE NOT WEALTHY HOLLYWOOD ELITES. if something happens on set that julia roberts, for example, thinks “hey that’s a violation of my autonomy and i was uncomfortable” you have in possession a fat bank account, a fleet of lawyers to helm an attack and protection that poor, broke extras and other actors do not have!!

the line being touted that intimacy coordinators are “optional” and that “we didn’t need one” is incredibly dangerous. they are mandatory and it is not just for actors but also for the crew!

THE BEST SEX SCENES YOU’VE SEEN ALL HAVE INTIMACY COORDINATORS!!!!!

this article does a great job on expanding: https://hungermag.com/editorial/what-do-intimacy-coordinators-do-anyway

and the intimacy coordinator behind young royals, one of my favourite and i would say leading the forefront of how intimacy coordinators TRANSFORM for the better sex scenes did an incredible interview talking about it all!!

I’ve read articles about actresses who would shake, cry and even vomit after sex scenes in the past because they felt violated. Intimacy coordinators need to be seen as the norm, as the smart thing to do, not the weak thing.