you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

can i fucking help you?

god I wish I had a pair of menacing black gauntlets with really sharp fingertip claws I bet it feels good as fuck to have your hands resting palm-down on a surface and then scratch some deep fucking gashes into it as you clench your hand a little closer to a fist when your evil minion delivers some bad news to you

ohhh fuck yeah, you understand

"I am going to get a good grade in ___________, a thing that is both normal to want and possible to achieve" drifts through my brain with positively alarming regularity.

actually when i was a strapping young dyke of only 2 years old i grabbed hot chocolate from the microwave, which had been boiling this beverage for 5 minutes straight, and spilled it all over me. severe burns but i was a really cool two year old and swagged through it. anyway when i got older my mother told me they had used pigs skin for the graft and so that's what i told my friends in school. ever since then my nickname in highschool had became hotdog skin. only once i was a strong and hearty lesbian did she reveal to me that it was just normal skin not pig skin and they were joking with me. i was out here telling people i had pig skin as an interesting icebreaker my entire academic life. my entire world upturned. ah well yet again i swagged through it. for women everywhere

It’s so sad that students are now relying so heavily on AI for writing essays because they’re missing out on the best part of writing an essay which is when you’re a few paragraphs in and you just reach that flow state where your thought process becomes one with the essay and you’re slamming the keys so hard that you’re on the verge of destroying your laptop. I used to get high off of that shit

hello ersatz nation

please please please be aware that if you and your friends get addicted to saying YIPPEEE like fortnite und cola yippee it will have an intoxicating effect and you might accidentally say it in a really important business meeting to a bunch of men you don't know

more of this guy

just remembered the most mortifying experience of my life. imagine you're 13. you go to a private christian school because that's the type of family you're in, im talking vests and long sleeved shirts and prayer circles every morning. you haven't figured out that you're gay yet but youve decided youre a #ally because you watched bbc sherlock and got really invested in johnlock. so this is a really weird time in your life. your dad comes home late from work sometimes and on this particular day he's confiscated your phone and laptop. luckily for you, you cracked the password to his office computer a while ago. and like i said, you're in the trenches so you need your yaoi fix. you open up a private tab on his computer and start catching up on your ao3 updates. and you're a couple hours into this when the screen flickers. you think ok whatever, probably just a computer glitch. but then the cursor MOVES. and that's when you remember that your dad has a program on his computer that lets him remotely access it from work. you freak out big time because now he's going to think you're a horrible sex pervert. years of muscle memory kick in and you close the tab before you even know what youre doing. youve never moved the cursor faster. and as you step away from the desk it hesitates and stutters before clicking the file explorer. like it was waiting for something. your dad doesn't say anything when he comes home that night. and he doesn't say anything the next night, or the night after that. you learn later that it doesn't matter how fast you are, once that screen flickers he can see everything on the computer, every tab and open window. you come out to him 4 years later. he is not surprised

he saw the gay fanfiction i was reading (probably marvel) and didnt say anything. ever. just let me stew in my own internalized homophobia. can you believe that shit. oh my god. oh my godddddd

Gideon the Ninth, first flower of my House.

The Time That Remains is available free on youtube (with baked-in English subtitles). It is a semiautobiographical film by Elia Suleiman, that follows his Palestinian family across the years from 1948, the beginning of occupation to the then-present day in four chapters. I highly recommend it, a favourite of mine.

The era of magic has arrived. ✨ With a foreword written by Mel's character designer, @/eveningmonteiro, join our 40+ contributors in a celebration of Runeterra's brightest star. Secure your copy today! 💛

🌟 Luminous, Always: Limited Bundle ($70)

Shine bright with our Limited Bundle! ✨ 'Luminous, Always' is our most 'stellar' package & includes two limited items: an enamel charm by @/AudreyTakada and an acrylic standee by @/melstinkss_!

💫 Eligible for all stretch goals!

🌟 Arcane's Light: Full Bundle ($60)

Let the Arcane stir within you with our Full Bundle. ✨ Effortlessly reflect anything that comes your way with a bundle that includes the physical zine and all merch!

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⭐️ Sun's Embrace: Half Bundle ($35)

May the light of the Medardas protect you with our Half Bundle. ✨ 'Sun's Embrace' includes the physical zine and a selection of physical merch.

💫 Eligible only for three stretch goals!

⭐️ Fox's Favored: Paper Bundle ($25)

Be swift and cunning with our Paper Bundle. ✨ Dedicated to those with tender hearts, 'Fox's Favored' includes the physical zine plus some of our flat merch items!

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⭐️ Wolf's Delight: Digital Bundle ($20)

Stand tall as a proud member of House Medarda with our Digital Bundle. ✨ From digital emojis to a Printable Paper Doll of Mel, 'Wolf's Delight' has you covered.

💫 This bundle is not eligible for any stretch goals.

⭐️ Early Bird Special!

All ✨ PHYSICAL ✨ orders placed in the first 48 hours* will receive this cool, pun intended, sticker by @gcldquartz! 🌟

❄️ *The 48 hours period is inclusive of early access pre-orders. To be eligible for the Early Bird, order by 1/14 before 10AM CST.

⭐️ Stretch Goals!

Help us unlock even more goodies with every physical order milestone! ✨ Carefully read bundle descriptions to know which SGs it is eligible for.

💫 melmedardazine.company.site

One of those goofy maid animes, except the viewpoint character isn't the hapless master or mistress of the house, but a regular-ass janitor who ended up on this crew due to a paperwork mixup at the temp agency and can't figure out what the fuck is wrong with her co-workers.

sweep sweep sweep pales in the face of the windsor versamatic 14

<33333333333

✨ COVER REVEAL! 💫

It's our honor to reveal the cover of Stella Aurea, illustrated by the illustrious @uzuriartonline! 🌟

Be it Mel’s past, present, or future, there is one undeniable constant: how her unwavering conviction always shines through! 💫✨

Pre-orders for Stella Aurea: A Mel Medarda Fanzine open tomorrow, January 13th! ✨