Entitled Dad And Son Expect Daughter To Cook For Them, Mad As She Refuses To Enable Their Laziness

Family members should help one another out so that they can make each other’s tasks feel easier, instead of leaving one person with the entire burden. Unfortunately, this seems to be the case for quite a few folks whose loved ones just aren’t willing to do their share at all.

This is exactly what one woman faced in her household because her dad and brother expected her mom to cook, clean, and do everything for them. That’s why the woman finally decided to take a stand and stop enabling them when her mother went out of town.

More info: Reddit

In certain traditional cultures, women are expected to manage the household responsibilities, while men are told to focus on work

Young woman chopping vegetables in a kitchen filled with fresh produce preparing food for dad and brother cooking.

Image credits: SkelDry / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The poster shared that even though her dad was in his fifties, he had never cooked, and his wife therefore had to manage it all on her own

Text excerpt discussing a dad and brother cooking food for themselves for the first time, seeking perspective.

Dad and brother cooking food together in a kitchen, preparing a meal with fresh ingredients and smiling.

Dad and brother cooking food together in the kitchen, preparing a meal and sharing cooking duties.

Text excerpt about a brother expecting dad or brother cooking food but mom often ends up doing it herself.

Young man and woman having a heated argument in the kitchen, dad and brother cooking food scene without actual cooking shown.

Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Since the poster had learned how to cook at the age of 12, her mother expected her to take over the responsibilities when she was not around

Dad and brother cooking food together for the first time while mom is out of town for three days.

Dad and brother cooking food together in a kitchen, preparing a meal with ingredients and utensils.

List showing 2 omelettes and fried potatoes as basic food cooked by dad and brother together.

Dad and brother cooking food together in a kitchen, preparing a meal and enjoying the cooking process.

Text excerpt describing a dad's strong reaction, highlighting family dynamics with dad and brother cooking food together.

Dad and brother cooking food together in a kitchen, enjoying preparing a meal and sharing the experience.

Dad and brother cooking food together in a bright kitchen with fresh vegetables and ingredients on the counter.

Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Eventually, when the poster’s mom went out of town, she decided not to enable her dad and brother anymore and told them they’d have to cook for themselves

Text on a plain background asking if someone is wrong for making dad and brother cook food instead of doing it themselves as usual.

Dad and brother cooking food together in the kitchen, preparing meals and helping with household chores.

Text discussing family views on cooking roles with dad and brother cooking food in a traditional Nepalese context.

Image credits: evelyn_archen

Even though both the man and the teen managed to cook, the dad was annoyed at his daughter and said her boundary was quite “cruel”

It seems like, since the poster was from a Nepali background, she had been raised in quite a traditional home where her mom was expected to manage all the household chores. That’s why her dad and brother had also not learned how to cook, and never even tried to make a meal for their family.

According to experts, the reason this kind of setup might be reinforced is that, in certain families, the women might only be allowed to work in the home, while men are expected to manage the finances. Therefore, they might grow up believing that to be the only way of life, and may then struggle to do things differently.

That’s why when the OP’s mother went out of town for three days, the poster was expected to cook every meal for her father and brother. The thing is, she was tired of her mom always enabling them and decided to force them to do their own tasks, which they were very reluctant to do. 

It can definitely be difficult for women to stand up to traditional gender expectations, but professionals share that it’s important to do so for one’s own peace of mind. Although you might not be able to change other people’s thought processes in one go, it can help make things better for you.

Man in a blue shirt gesturing with hands sitting on chair, expressing surprise, no dad brother cooking food visible.

Image credits: stockking / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Even though the OP had tried to be firm with her father and brother, she still cooked rice and quinoa for them. They only had to fry a few potatoes and make some omelettes, which they still complained about having to do. Luckily, the woman decided to stay firm in her decision and let them manage things on their own.

Unfortunately, the poster’s dad was quite unhappy about her actions, and he called her cruel for standing up to him. He also stated that she was four times worse than her mother, mainly because she had been so strict to make him cook his own meals.

In situations like this, it might be easy to give in to a parent’s guilt-tripping, but it may also end up reinforcing harmful behavior. That’s why advisors state that people should be confident in the boundaries they have set, and understand that it’s okay for the other person to feel a bit uncomfortable due to them.

Luckily, one good outcome of the poster’s firm stance was that her brother finally understood her and her mother’s point of view. He therefore apologized for not helping out and promised to cook and clean more often. Hopefully, the poster’s dad also learns from his son’s example and starts working toward having a more equal household.

Do you think the woman did the right thing by forcing her dad and brother to cook when her mom was away? We’d love to hear your honest thoughts on this story.

Folks were proud of the poster for standing her ground and were shocked by her father’s chauvinistic behavior

Dad and brother cooking food together in a bright kitchen, preparing a meal with fresh ingredients and teamwork.

Comment discussing how dad and brother rely on others for cooking food and suggesting they should cook for themselves.

Dad and brother cooking food together in a kitchen, preparing a meal with smiles and teamwork.

Comment praising someone for not cooking, mentioning dad and brother cooking food stereotypes and family dynamics.

Dad and brother cooking food together in a kitchen, preparing a meal and sharing a moment while cooking.

Comment discussing dad and brother cooking food, emphasizing cooking as an essential life skill and personal responsibility.

Dad and brother cooking food together in a kitchen, preparing a meal with teamwork and family bonding.

Dad and brother cooking food together in a kitchen, preparing a meal with fresh ingredients and utensils.

Man and boy cooking food together in a kitchen, showing dad and brother bonding while preparing a meal.

Dad and brother cooking food together in a kitchen, preparing a meal with smiles and teamwork.

Comment text about women learning to cook, displayed with username and points, related to dad brother cooking food topic.

Comment about dad and brother cooking food, emphasizing the importance of basic cooking skills and family dynamics.

Dad and brother cooking food together in a home kitchen, preparing a meal with fresh ingredients and utensils.

Dad and brother cooking food together in a bright kitchen, preparing ingredients and enjoying the meal prep process.

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