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Dark Souls (Sacred Cow)
11 years ago
General
My Groups: 
So, every year Game Informer magazine has a "sacred cow" section where they basically roast some of the most beloved or acclaimed games in the industry. They had some really good ones this year (Kingdom Hearts, Minecraft, Mass Effect 2, just to name a few), but the real gem this year, IMO, was their take on Dark Souls. And before any white knights rush to the rescue of the Dark Souls series, keep in mind I'm quoting what the magazine said, and while I did manage to garner some enjoyment from both games, I couldn't help but nod and even laugh out loud as I read this article.
Here it goes...
Dark Souls
Gamers have gleefully been declaring the Japanese game industry dead for years due to the inability of eastern developers to create new and innovative experiences (i.e. make first-person shooters like everyone else). However, From Software has managed to revolutionize gaming with its Dark Souls series -- not by introducing new gameplay (it's the same slow, stat-trading combat the developer has been shoveling for years), or a thought-provoking story (this is From Software we're talking about), but by tapping into the self-hatred that introverted gamers have for themselves in a way no game has done before.
Dark Souls is the ultimate pissing contest, only in this case, the objective is to see how long you're willing to let the game shower you in its archaically punishing gameplay. Players undergo a symbolic form of castration by repeatedly dying and losing all of their experience until Stockholm syndrome sets in and provides a smug sense of elitism that can sometimes be mistaken for "having fun." This grueling "difficulty" also masks the fact that From Software can't balance a game or even explain how its draconian mechanics work -- because fumbling around in menus and not understanding basic gameplay systems is part of the experience! Somehow the developer has actually duped players into expecting and paying for a miserable experience, which From Software is uniquely qualified to deliver.
Playing and pretending to enjoy Dark Souls is the gaming equivalent of a middle-aged dad driving an exotic sports car -- it's so clear that you're trying to compensate for your own inadequacies that we can only pity you.
Here it goes...
Dark Souls
Gamers have gleefully been declaring the Japanese game industry dead for years due to the inability of eastern developers to create new and innovative experiences (i.e. make first-person shooters like everyone else). However, From Software has managed to revolutionize gaming with its Dark Souls series -- not by introducing new gameplay (it's the same slow, stat-trading combat the developer has been shoveling for years), or a thought-provoking story (this is From Software we're talking about), but by tapping into the self-hatred that introverted gamers have for themselves in a way no game has done before.
Dark Souls is the ultimate pissing contest, only in this case, the objective is to see how long you're willing to let the game shower you in its archaically punishing gameplay. Players undergo a symbolic form of castration by repeatedly dying and losing all of their experience until Stockholm syndrome sets in and provides a smug sense of elitism that can sometimes be mistaken for "having fun." This grueling "difficulty" also masks the fact that From Software can't balance a game or even explain how its draconian mechanics work -- because fumbling around in menus and not understanding basic gameplay systems is part of the experience! Somehow the developer has actually duped players into expecting and paying for a miserable experience, which From Software is uniquely qualified to deliver.
Playing and pretending to enjoy Dark Souls is the gaming equivalent of a middle-aged dad driving an exotic sports car -- it's so clear that you're trying to compensate for your own inadequacies that we can only pity you.
Mah Frands: 
