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Friendship
9 years ago
General
When I came back home from serving my mission a couple years ago, I had nothing. I’ve never felt so terribly alone at that time. However, one thing the mission showed me was how beautiful life was with goodly friends and families. Before the mission, I knew no one except my immediate family—and anything outside that circle was unimaginable to me. It was a world I did not want to understand.
But over the course of that mission, I developed a deep fascination of the social world. How it worked filled me with wonder. I wanted it. I wanted to socialize with them. I took this knowledge I gained from the mission and tried to apply it in my life. This wonder propelled me past a point I have had never imagined. I recall a time when I got my first furry friend; I was thinking how unreal it felt. I had a friend. Before I knew it, I had two, then three, four, five…
My point is my life changed since, but now I feel like I have grown too lethargic. I got lazy. I somehow arrived to a decision that what I had and what I had done was enough and grew placid. That was a mistake.
What’s more is that every time I look over to the examples of those I met on my mission and to my continued friendship with those who I had served with in California here in Utah, I question myself: Am I a good friend? I feel like I’ve grown distant from them. Is that their fault or mine? I look at them and wonder how they did it. How are they so happy? It doesn’t matter how long we last heard from each other, they are just simply glad to see me. Sometimes I wonder if it’s because of the gospel. Even though I have never felt like I belonged in that culture, perhaps, I could, and would, give up all my sins if it meant I could obtain this joy.
What sparked this was the opportunity I had to hear Markiplier’s words on a couple videos I watched. Those words changed me. He made me realize how relaxed I got with my goals.
Making friends is hard. No joke. It takes work. Friendship is something to be earned. Again, I have questioned myself why I didn’t feel like I was progressing. I didn’t understand it until now. It made me realize how far I have fallen.
I want to apologize for that. Whatever I am friends or just acquaintances, I am honored to have met them. I just want to make sure that each of those I hold as friends know I’m very grateful to know them. I want to show each of them my friendship to them. But honestly, I feel like I have failed that. I want to fix myself. I want to rise up and be a better person than I was yesterday. And I’m sure going to try every day as long I have breath in me.
But over the course of that mission, I developed a deep fascination of the social world. How it worked filled me with wonder. I wanted it. I wanted to socialize with them. I took this knowledge I gained from the mission and tried to apply it in my life. This wonder propelled me past a point I have had never imagined. I recall a time when I got my first furry friend; I was thinking how unreal it felt. I had a friend. Before I knew it, I had two, then three, four, five…
My point is my life changed since, but now I feel like I have grown too lethargic. I got lazy. I somehow arrived to a decision that what I had and what I had done was enough and grew placid. That was a mistake.
What’s more is that every time I look over to the examples of those I met on my mission and to my continued friendship with those who I had served with in California here in Utah, I question myself: Am I a good friend? I feel like I’ve grown distant from them. Is that their fault or mine? I look at them and wonder how they did it. How are they so happy? It doesn’t matter how long we last heard from each other, they are just simply glad to see me. Sometimes I wonder if it’s because of the gospel. Even though I have never felt like I belonged in that culture, perhaps, I could, and would, give up all my sins if it meant I could obtain this joy.
What sparked this was the opportunity I had to hear Markiplier’s words on a couple videos I watched. Those words changed me. He made me realize how relaxed I got with my goals.
Making friends is hard. No joke. It takes work. Friendship is something to be earned. Again, I have questioned myself why I didn’t feel like I was progressing. I didn’t understand it until now. It made me realize how far I have fallen.
I want to apologize for that. Whatever I am friends or just acquaintances, I am honored to have met them. I just want to make sure that each of those I hold as friends know I’m very grateful to know them. I want to show each of them my friendship to them. But honestly, I feel like I have failed that. I want to fix myself. I want to rise up and be a better person than I was yesterday. And I’m sure going to try every day as long I have breath in me.
Wow "timber" . Very heart touching journal to say the least.
Your a good Wolf man.
You feel like you have grown apart from your friends ?
C'mere you... *snugs and nuzzles* x3
First off, I don't know you very well, so neither one of us can call each other a best friend. But, what little I
do know of you, I can tell that you're amazing to the ones that you can indeed call a best friend. You're kind
and humble and as far as I can read emotions from text, you always seem to have a bit of a smile on your face.
Second off, the part that will make me sound like a jerk lol. Me, personally, I'd rather have a small hand full of
best friends, and not a million fair weather friends. To be, a best friend is someone you consider closer than
your family because you chose to be friends with that person, where as family, you have no choice than to be
related to that person. I have many friends, but I can count my "best" friends on one hand. And for those best
friends, I wouldn't even question taking a bullet for them, or giving them a kidney, and they'd do the same for me.
So, to recap... I think you're an amazing person. All friends deserve our love. But only a select hand full of friends
deserve a special kind of love. And I'd rather focus my time and attention and love on those select few, I know
for sure will drop everything to help me out when I need it, and they know I'll do the same for them in return.
I'm sorry if this hurts you or anyone else reading this. I'm sincerely sorry... But as my minister used to say to us;
"I'd rather hurt you with the truth, than to kill you with a lie." Sugar coated lies will kill you because they lead
you to believe everything is okay and you can let your guard down. The truth however, it can sting a little and
some times it hurts. But you'll heal and not only that, you'll be stronger and you'll learn from it down the road.
To clear it up a little... There's friends that we keep in contact with now and then and we
love them. And then there's best friends that we can't be separated from. I (personally),
focus more attention on the best friends, to make sure they know that I value them more
because I see them more often. When the communication and social time with the "other"
friends becomes a daily basis thing and we can't be separated, that's when I consider them
best friends. I value all my friends, but the ones that have a bigger presence, I feel, deserve
a little more attention from me. They're giving me more of them selves, so I'll give a little
more of my self in return. I assure you, I meant no harm to anyone. It was just the truth.
Honestly, I gotta say, telling the truth straight out may not always be the best idea. I’m not necessarily saying it’s ok to lie, but I figure that there are polite ways to suggest your feelings.
Thank you for your comment. I think we’re pretty acquainted through FA to have a loose idea of who we are. I feel you are a smart and amazing individual. And you have good points there. I think it’s that way for a lot of people: A bulk of contacts but a select few who are very close.
No need to lie, but no need to tell the entire brutal truth... I'm sorry if I've said
anything to offend or hurt you or anyone else. Sincerely, I offer my apologies.