If you read my last journal, you know that I lost my home of 50 years about a month ago. I'm getting tired of waiting for the local Housing Authority to come through, so on the advice of a friend I decided to swallow my pride and set up a GoFundMe page to rent a crappy apartment in my home town.

https://www.gofundme.com/h7teenb8

Any assistance would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your consideration.

(cover art by the great Sandypants)

I was recently notified by the bank that I have to be out of my home by February 8 (one day before the third anniversary of my Mom's death). My cousin has agreed to take me in, although she hasn't given me the warmest welcome; despite the fact that I love animals, she seems to think that my presence will upset her border collie!

I'm not sure how long I'll be permitted to remain there, so I'm looking for someone in the central PA or MD area who has a spare room they would be willing to let me occupy. I have very little money at this time, but I do have a SNAP (food stamp) card, so I can provide my own board. Since I don't drive, somewhere within walking distance of public transportation would be best so that I can search for local employment.

If anyone can be of assistance, please send me a private message. Thanks!

And that's terrible.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqfuB3rb8bs

UPDATE 2: The station pulled the second clip as well. Go here:

http://www.biohazard.furholt.net/toohot.html

PS: Additional clips from previous years have been added.

Would you like milk, sugar, or Eucharist with your coffee?

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=170380618527

...and now:

http://www.postalmuseum.si.edu/Deli.....ope/index.html

Without the cigarette holder, he just looks...psychotic.

I thought Jaime Sommers was the one with the bionic ear (oh yeh, she's selling electric mattresses or whatever)...

I hope Col. Austin got FDA approval for his 'hearing aid'. Steve Allen didn't, and NOW HE'S DEAD.

https://www.buybionicear.com/

First Chuck, and now Brett... =(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FBKrzHIrRA

1924-2007 RIP

Merv Griffin RIP
1925-2007

Been listening to my 45 of this all morning...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Td4uqWTDt9w

Well, I've got a week's vacation coming to me; I had plans to attend AC last week, but bailed out at the last minute and will now be flying to Las Vegas. I'll be paying a visit to one or more of the state's fine legal houses of ill repute (it's been so long since I've handled a set of boobs, I won't even care about the implants), and also a (very) little wagering, some shopping, and a lot of eating and drinking. This will be my first trip to southern Nevada, and I'll be there for a week, so I'm looking for suggestions on good restaurants as well as bars and clubs, gay-oriented establishments included (I'll probably be visiting again with a straight friend in December, so I'll get any faggotry out of the way this time around).

Anyway, if I don't die of heatstroke, and there's no news of a horrible jetBlue accident, I'll be back on the 22nd with renewed artistic energy and joie de vivre! Or a vague feeling of inadequacy and gloom. But there will be new art on the way, regardless.

PS There's four folks who are waiting for requests/art trades from me; you know who you are (something with Malice, and something with a mink, and something with a Kanker, and something with Warners). Your work will be off to you before the middle of August, just in time for my 42nd birthday. Yay.

Now let me tell you something, we're still beautifying God's House, and I need one hundred people to write me this week, and send in a little offering of FIFTY DOLLARS or MORE. LET GOD USE YOU this week, for HIS GLORY. Let us beautify the House of God together.

I AM EXCITED about the House of God. I am EXCITED! And I BELIEVE that it's TIME that ALL of us fall in LOVE with the House of God. Oh, we love our own houses, but it's time to fall in love with GOD'S HOUSE, to fall in love with DOING something, for the House of God.

I need at least a hundred of you listening now, to write me and send fifty dollars or more this week, for the ministry itself. For the work of GOD, for the BEAUTIFICATION of the House of God. And when YOU send something for God's House, GOD'S gonna put a MIRACLE in YOUR house.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVRPEDOVJzk

1931-2007

The Goody-Toddy Bird sheds many tears, and a few moldy feathers...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=eCM-58J_3Ig

[transcript to follow]

04:06:2007 10:28
[incoming]

> hello

>> may I speak with mr or mrs swords please

> this is mr swords

>> good morning mr swords I am calling on behalf of
>> homecare health services and [click]

[call ends]

04:06:2007 10:29
[incoming]

> hello

>> DID YOU JUST HANG UP ON ME

> yes

>> WHY

> because I'm not interested in any HEALTH SERVICES

>> THAT'S ALL YOU HAD TO SAY [click]

[call ends]

[transcript ends]

there's a cool breeze blowing
you can feel it 'cross the land
it's surfing fun
a dad and son
a place where you can stand

and Late Night is the reason
our forefathers fought with pride
it's clear blue skies
grandma's eyes
a feeling that's deep inside

it's a Late Night world
it's a world that we can share
so turn on your TV
and watch it with me
it's a Late Night world of love

there's a whole new generation
who are willing to say yes
it's soups and stews
a wall of shoes
a thing called happiness

so change the channel
change your life
it doesn't cost a thing
we're talking loud
standing proud
now join us as we sing

it's a Late Night world
it's a world that we can share
so turn on your TV
and watch it with me
it's a Late Night world of love

there's a boy
a little boy
shooting arrows in the blue
and he's aiming them at someone
but the question is at who
is it me
or is it you
hard to tell until you're hit
but you'll know it when they hit you
'cause they hurt a little bit

here they come pouring out
of the blue
little arrows for me
and for you

you're falling in love again
falling in love again

little arrows in your clothing
little arrows in your hair
when you're in love you'll find those
little arrows everywhere
little arrows that will hit you once
and hit you once again
little arrows that hit everybody
every now and then

http://home.earthlink.net/~brianswo.....ttlearrows.mp3

well i'm drivin' down the highway
at the speed of light
transporting meals
in the middle of the night
van drive quick
food keep hot
old folk smile
if the food be hot

you know i'm driving so fast
that i'm a-breakin' the law
'cause i've got to get a snack
to mr michelmore
mr savile's waiting
for his muesli
and ol' harry secombe
wants his pie and peas
baby now

meals on wheels
feeding the old folk
night and day
meals on wheels
get out of my way

i've got a little oven
and a couple of pans
so i can heat the meat
in the back of the van
you see food get chilled
old folk weep
hence the oven
do you see

meals on wheels
feeding the old folk
night and day
meals on wheels
get out of my way

Vic's "hit single" extended mix:
http://www.mindspring.com/~eggerr/misc/meals.mp3