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Merry Christmas!
General | Posted 5 years agoHey, happy, merry, jolly Christmas and Holidays to you all out there. :3
Happy Birthday to met
General | Posted 7 years agoLast year's 27 years a lulser was a kind of self-depreciating post. I'm happy to report that I've toned down that self-hatred but it's still here in the form of persistent inwardly directed anxiety.
Thing are better though. I have a great job, for instance, and my parents who were estranged have seen each other more and more, and I even took them out to dinner for my Birthday. But the severe anxiety and depression haven't gone away; bits of behavioral issues have...well...seeped out.
Sometimes it's procrastinating on basic everyday normal tasks, sometimes it's handling basic information, and sometimes it's doing literally nothing the whole day with a complete brain fog and unable to feel positive about future events. Other times, it's passive aggressive behavior towards people that mean no harm.
I've put off help for a while, and I'm glad that I'm finally seeing a doctor on wednesday and etting back on meds. I've tried fighting this for a long time on my own, but I've accepted that sometimes, when society throws a lifeline, even a crutch, it can help.
Here's towards a calmer, brighter future. I hope this year goes better for you all too, whoever reads this. :3 Good vibes.
Thing are better though. I have a great job, for instance, and my parents who were estranged have seen each other more and more, and I even took them out to dinner for my Birthday. But the severe anxiety and depression haven't gone away; bits of behavioral issues have...well...seeped out.
Sometimes it's procrastinating on basic everyday normal tasks, sometimes it's handling basic information, and sometimes it's doing literally nothing the whole day with a complete brain fog and unable to feel positive about future events. Other times, it's passive aggressive behavior towards people that mean no harm.
I've put off help for a while, and I'm glad that I'm finally seeing a doctor on wednesday and etting back on meds. I've tried fighting this for a long time on my own, but I've accepted that sometimes, when society throws a lifeline, even a crutch, it can help.
Here's towards a calmer, brighter future. I hope this year goes better for you all too, whoever reads this. :3 Good vibes.
Happy birthday to me
General | Posted 8 years ago27 years a lulser, can't be happier :D I didnt post this journal yesterday, cause I'm lazy
Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animals
General | Posted 9 years ago*Fires short burst* ....and a happy new year.. *single shot*
Well, fucking shit.
General | Posted 9 years agoI'm lazy when it comes to trying new things...but what the fuck. Made a weasyl: https://www.weasyl.com/~ealdian
Goddamn FA you need to get your shit together.
Goddamn FA you need to get your shit together.
Spring cleaning
General | Posted 9 years agoI am a lazy guy when it comes to cleaning. Dust doesn't bother me but things that are disordered and not put on shelves freaks me out. Maybe I'm just weird.
Death and other things.
General | Posted 10 years agoOh look, a journal. Isn't this something that you're supposed to write in?
In recent news, my great-grandmother of 99 years old passed away in her sleep. She always kept her mind firmly focused on her grandchildren, at least in her later years. No matter how much she'd forget (and she was both aware and afraid of forgetting most of us) she still kept conversation with us and I still talked to her. Our conversations weren't long but at least she was happy.
She was convinced this year that it would be her last, and hoped that she would quickly pass in her sleep, which thankfully proved to be the case.
None of this really sunk in until today when I was at school of all places. Two things happened: I had a memory of her letting me paint her basement with water and a paintbrush, and finding all sorts of inventive ways that us kids could have fun. That and letting us trim the outside hedges with a pair of scissors, hah. The second event happened immediately after I thought of the first: Other people, very, very stupid people decided to simply not do work and wanted to copy my essay. These two feelings came to a head and I stormed out of class. No, I didn't flip anything over, I didn't punch anybody. "Fucking seriously?", was all I said and then walked out of class.
Goddammit. At any rate, I'll be driving up to Canada to attend her burial service, be able to connect with other family and remember my grandmother properly.
In recent news, my great-grandmother of 99 years old passed away in her sleep. She always kept her mind firmly focused on her grandchildren, at least in her later years. No matter how much she'd forget (and she was both aware and afraid of forgetting most of us) she still kept conversation with us and I still talked to her. Our conversations weren't long but at least she was happy.
She was convinced this year that it would be her last, and hoped that she would quickly pass in her sleep, which thankfully proved to be the case.
None of this really sunk in until today when I was at school of all places. Two things happened: I had a memory of her letting me paint her basement with water and a paintbrush, and finding all sorts of inventive ways that us kids could have fun. That and letting us trim the outside hedges with a pair of scissors, hah. The second event happened immediately after I thought of the first: Other people, very, very stupid people decided to simply not do work and wanted to copy my essay. These two feelings came to a head and I stormed out of class. No, I didn't flip anything over, I didn't punch anybody. "Fucking seriously?", was all I said and then walked out of class.
Goddammit. At any rate, I'll be driving up to Canada to attend her burial service, be able to connect with other family and remember my grandmother properly.
