I really liked you, but you have to understand, this is the way it has to be for me. You aren't going to change; you aren't good for me.

Some days I feel nothing and get along just fine, some days I feel like I want to experience the pain and the melancholy of isolation, some days I don't even stop to think about it. The memory of a person is often better than that person actually is in reality. The way I remember you isn't how you are now, and I know that now I wouldn't want you around because you're different. That's okay. I just can't contend with you, I can't coexist with you. You have to stay gone. I hope you forgot about me and I hope I can forget about you too.

I really need to practice my own advice. I'm supposed to be okay on my own but I'm really more of an anxious ball of regret. How does anyone live without having a job to occupy their time and keep them busy? I can't get these things I'm thinking out of my head.

I'm 23 now, my age is getting serious but my life isn't

sippin' on straight chlorine, let the vibes slide over me

i could lift you up, but i'm here bleeding out

I don't ever think of you, I have too much stuff to do
Hey you, do you think I'm cool

whenever anyone does something nice for me I feel like I owe them something.

Putting things into writing that will persist feels good, it's some kind of relief. I feel a lot lighter now.

7/19/24

It took me a long time to decide to put words down on paper.