She is open for comissions. Check her out https://www.furaffinity.net/view/51208265/

It could be worse. Harddrive is dying, gpu is dying. On top of that battle against depression, anxiety and panic attacks. Life sure is great. No work as job center says I'm not fit for work with my issues. Social security sits there and says talk with the job center. Talking with the curator for help and advise, says talk with social security. I'm tired of being shoved around as they shove me around, curator -> social security -> job center -> curator...
No wonder I have a headache.

Whelp, my poor honeys pc died and now we need to try gather 600 euro to get her a pc. Life is fucking fantastic due to being unemployed and battling anxiety.

I had so much hope for that movie, I really did. It seemed to be quite nice with the trailers and all but...honestly. I am disappointed. Really disappointed. Not gonna tell any spoilers or such but I feel the halloween movies kinda lost it. I've could've spent the time doing something better than watching that movie.

My dads dogs are going to sleep, they'll pass the rainbow bridge later today and then they can meet mom up there.
At least they don't have to be in pain anymore. Who knew it could go so bad so quickly. Cancer is a horrible thing even to humans and animals.
They have been with us for almost 16 years which is quite a long time and I'll have to remember the good memories I have from them. Rest in peace loved ones.

Sorry, haven't been uploading in a few days now. Things has gotten in the way and on top of that I've got freaking toothache from hell. I will try to resume creating someday, just not today. Take care all.

So today I got the news that one of my favourite youtubers had passed away. When seeing this I cried, I cried alot. So did my beloved. We both love his channel, his humor and his creativity.
This is sad news indeed. He had problems with his mental health and things like that isn't easy. I am at loss for words cause I can't find the right words. All I can say is Rest in Peace Steve, you will be remembered and never forgotten!

I don't understand why some people got to be so freaking toxic? Like I enjoyed being one in the team, especially in titanfall 2. It was really fun. Sure I wasn't the cleanest one around either but I also noticed how I changed myself during gaming so I made a promise to not go that way again. Instead of becoming angry and throwing nasty toxic words everywhere, I just simply went silent and tried to calm myself down. I started working on my temper and became quite good at handling it.
One of the core rules was not to be toxic, I even saw how the "management" kicked several people for being really toxic. Then we had a dude in there, who seemed to be really nice.
During a game, I saw a player acting really odd (playing way to good, like 1 shot with ion across the map or throwing pulse daggers thru walls etc etc.) And I brought it up while talking in discord.
Then the nice guy really turns and starts being toxic towards me. I literally told him I don't have to deal with that so quit it and left the call.
During a team game same dude joins in and starts harassing me in swedish, which I tell the admins about. I told them everything he said to me and trust me, ain't gonna put it here cause it wasn't very nice things at all.
I got met with silence from the admins. People who said were friends. People who said if it is something, talk with us. So I did. Nothing.
After a few hours one of the chat admins. not the Admin but the chat admin, types a message in general chat saying we have to solve it between ourselves. Like really? What sort of way is that? I tried talking with him and the dude response with being awfully toxic and I told them about it.
So I left that discord server. Sure I do miss to have a team to play with again and I miss being social with so-called friends.
Still I wonder, why do people have to be so toxic, so toxic that they really try to hurt others? What is the meaning of that? I'm not sure.
Sorry, if you are reading this I just needed to release some from my brain.

https://youtu.be/A4FKfxtqPZs
they are doing such awesome work!

https://youtu.be/88VBun17AMI
A small part of me is screaming with joy... Okay a huge part is screaming with joy. happy? I am!

Sometimes I wonder what people are thinking. The so called friends, get steam, we will play games and laugh and stuff. Got steam, got games and yet I have no one to play with.
Get Origin, we will play games and laugh: Same story there. I am playing by myself because when asking hey do you want to play? sorry busy with this game or that game doing coop there and here, oh okay.
No wonder I'm feeling so freakin' lonely. I got dead space 3 cause my friend wanted to play. we've been playing for 8 hours. that's all.
He gave me titanfall 2 as a late christmas gift and said we can play this togheter. Cool, we've played maybe 5 times togehter then he got odessey and went afk from the world again.
Sometimes I see other friends in games that I have, so I ask may I join? the most common reply I get is: Nah, we're playing the story co-op style.
Okay so does that mean cause you are 2 playing a game designed to have 4 players I can't join? Well cool.
Conclusion: I am rather lonely in games and I am starting to hate people more and more.
At least I decided to uninstall titanfall 2 and dead space 3. no use when I'm not playing them.

Sorrow, you can feel sorrow over many things in life. But nothing can prepare you for the loss of a loved one, especially if its your parent. It takes time to heal when a loved parent has passed away. It is okay to cry, it is okay to miss them and it is okay to mourn. Always remember, never forget how much a parent means to you, All the love your parents give you, collect it, save it and cherish it to always think of it when your feeling down and sad, use the strength your parent gave you to never forget how much they were there for you. <3

So it's the 25 december, my birthday. Also it is my first birthday without mom, feels kinda sad but yet I know she's not in pain anymore.
Cancer got her. And I miss her so, but don't look at the past, Look what the future brings instead and remember all the love and positive energy your loved ones brought to you.

https://youtu.be/RoqSYuQDPz8