Hey everyone, I think its safe to say that this year has been a shitty one. I haven't been drawing as much right now because I am back to feeling depressed over what happened during the summer. To put it short, my grandmother passed away back in July and I was there during her final moments. She was the only family I had left, and now its just me and my father who I do not appreciate as much. Why? Because he is an paranoid alcoholic who has constantly pressures and harasses me. He has been a major stressor in my life and its only gotten worse now that his mother passed away, he is drinking a lot more. This makes him more aggressive towards me. So I don't really feel safe at night and I lock myself in my room until the next morning.

Some of my close friends, or thought were close friends didn't really support me or chose not to. One of them pointed the finger at me and blamed me for not trying to be nice enough to my dad, which is outrageous. When I told him about my grandmother he didn't seem to care, he told me that he was too busy to be helping me. I decided to cut off the friendship with him. He also blamed me for not working hard enough too which really upset me.

For the past month I've been looking for additional work, even landed one interview but that didn't work out well. I had to take a break because I am constantly arguing with my father and its exhausting me. Its making me depressed too. I really wish I can just move out of the damn house and be on my own already.

I'm still in therapy, visiting my therapist each week and talking about what happened, and its been a big help so far. I have been on medications for over six months and its been a huge improvement to my moods and focus. Even with this I feel like I'm back on a decline, since July.

Last thing is about my living conditions, or the house that I am currently in. Its obvious that it isn't mine, it was my grandmothers and its on something called probate. My uncle is an executor and we don't know what he is up to or what his decision will be. My father constantly makes me worry about being kicked out and homeless. I also think my uncles are assholes who aren't very nice and care about money more than anything. So who knows, nothing has happened yet, and I don't think about it as much.

So the urge to draw is lacking these days with all this going on. It is my main source of income so I still have to work on it. I usually take sketch commissions on Fridays or Saturdays. I havent opened up for normal coms because I want something more simple to work on. I also still maintaining my Patreon but thought of closing it because of all the stress with people constantly wanting to talk to me. I have 2 or 3 that just small talk and nothing else which is really irritating me. I blocked one of them after an argument and they blamed me.

Anyways, that's all I have to say. I appreciate all those who support me and respected my boundaries.