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More from Shane_Rufus
I stood there for what felt like hours before I worked up the courage to knock.
I didn't know if you were home. I thought maybe if you weren't, I could at least say I tried.
If you were, what would I say? What could I say?
I worried that maybe you'd sent the letter so long ago because you wanted to close that door finally.
But you didn't. You opened it up, smiled at me, and invited me in.
Both of you.
I couldn't believe the kindness you showed me. After what I'd done, what I'd put you through and then run away. I should have stayed that night, I should have done something, anything.
There was so much I wanted to say. To make excuses, to try and ease my guilt, that maybe if you understood why I had to stay quiet it would finally silence the voices howling at me at night.
In that moment, though, all I could say was... I'm sorry.
You told me it was okay, that you never blamed me. That maybe it was good because it led to you meeting Alex. In a way, you said, I brought you together.
You told me about your new life together. You told me how hard it was to stay hidden at first, how scary the Alley was any time you went out. You said that, finally, things were getting better.
I asked why you stayed, why you didn't just leave after the riots.
"Because," you told me. "This is home."
I saw the way you held his hand, the way you talked about each other. The way you argued over little insignificant details in the stories you told me.
As much as I hate myself for thinking it, I wished I was the one having those arguments with you.
I ran from that house because I was terrified of what would happen if I'd stayed, if I'd let myself be seen. Before, I felt like a coward. In that moment, I was envious.
I wanted to hate Alex. I wanted something to be wrong with him, some crack I could see. I realized that some terrible part of me was hoping it wasn't working for you, either.
Maybe, I thought, if we were both having problems, we could start again together. As if I could ever deserve a second chance with you.
You wanted to know about Tony. You joked that it must be so much easier not having to hide, not having to pretend.
I told you we were having a rough patch. I couldn't bear to admit that you had stayed together through everything you'd been through, and I couldn't.
You nodded, but smiled. You told me I was very lucky to have someone like him in my life.
"If we can make it work here," you said, "I'm sure you can get past whatever problems you have."
When we hugged and parted ways, I realized something.
You're right, we can make it work.
I will make it work.
Thank you, Liam.
From the Alley to the Big City is a creative collaboration between shanerufus and pac set in the FBA universe.
for a complete list of art, stories, audio and more, please view the project index.
I didn't know if you were home. I thought maybe if you weren't, I could at least say I tried.
If you were, what would I say? What could I say?
I worried that maybe you'd sent the letter so long ago because you wanted to close that door finally.
But you didn't. You opened it up, smiled at me, and invited me in.
Both of you.
I couldn't believe the kindness you showed me. After what I'd done, what I'd put you through and then run away. I should have stayed that night, I should have done something, anything.
There was so much I wanted to say. To make excuses, to try and ease my guilt, that maybe if you understood why I had to stay quiet it would finally silence the voices howling at me at night.
In that moment, though, all I could say was... I'm sorry.
You told me it was okay, that you never blamed me. That maybe it was good because it led to you meeting Alex. In a way, you said, I brought you together.
You told me about your new life together. You told me how hard it was to stay hidden at first, how scary the Alley was any time you went out. You said that, finally, things were getting better.
I asked why you stayed, why you didn't just leave after the riots.
"Because," you told me. "This is home."
I saw the way you held his hand, the way you talked about each other. The way you argued over little insignificant details in the stories you told me.
As much as I hate myself for thinking it, I wished I was the one having those arguments with you.
I ran from that house because I was terrified of what would happen if I'd stayed, if I'd let myself be seen. Before, I felt like a coward. In that moment, I was envious.
I wanted to hate Alex. I wanted something to be wrong with him, some crack I could see. I realized that some terrible part of me was hoping it wasn't working for you, either.
Maybe, I thought, if we were both having problems, we could start again together. As if I could ever deserve a second chance with you.
You wanted to know about Tony. You joked that it must be so much easier not having to hide, not having to pretend.
I told you we were having a rough patch. I couldn't bear to admit that you had stayed together through everything you'd been through, and I couldn't.
You nodded, but smiled. You told me I was very lucky to have someone like him in my life.
"If we can make it work here," you said, "I'm sure you can get past whatever problems you have."
When we hugged and parted ways, I realized something.
You're right, we can make it work.
I will make it work.
Thank you, Liam.
From the Alley to the Big City is a creative collaboration between shanerufus and pac set in the FBA universe.
for a complete list of art, stories, audio and more, please view the project index.
Category All / All
Species Rat
Size 1280 x 886px
File Size 120.9 kB
God damn it, dude. There's so little to this, and yet it says so much.
It shows that Terry, through all of this, still held onto that little bit of first love he had all these years. He never got closure on that. Heck, he may not still fully have closure. Sometimes you hold onto those first love feelings you had, even when the relationship is long past. But he's moving on, and that's a good thing.
Also, I like knowing that Liam is happy and good with Alex.
It shows that Terry, through all of this, still held onto that little bit of first love he had all these years. He never got closure on that. Heck, he may not still fully have closure. Sometimes you hold onto those first love feelings you had, even when the relationship is long past. But he's moving on, and that's a good thing.
Also, I like knowing that Liam is happy and good with Alex.
We do plan on doing more with Liam and Alex, actually. we were talking about their life together and how things had been for them.
Yeah, Terry never quite got over Liam for several reasons, I think. No matter what, it's still his first love, his first relationship. It'll be hard for that to ever heal fully.
Yeah, Terry never quite got over Liam for several reasons, I think. No matter what, it's still his first love, his first relationship. It'll be hard for that to ever heal fully.
Sometimes people heal and move past their first love. Some people never do. Heck one of my friends is perfectly happy and in love with his girlfriend, but he still has the love he had for the girl he was too afraid to go after long ago.
Both exist, and neither is better than the other. It is all about the person. And Terry didn't exactly have normal circumstances. He'll likely hold that guilt, that love, that wanting to know what would have happened for a long long time, but at least he's healing.
Both exist, and neither is better than the other. It is all about the person. And Terry didn't exactly have normal circumstances. He'll likely hold that guilt, that love, that wanting to know what would have happened for a long long time, but at least he's healing.
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