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Four Loko, weed, and a mini golf course just asking to get broken into.
What more could Susie and Kris ask for?
my end of an art trade with MythMonster2!
Kris brought their bike to a halt, just underneath another lonely street light on a road at the edge of town. Beside them another bike came to a skidding halt as a heavy foot thudded against the ground.
“Think this place has cameras?” Susie asked.
Kris shrugged. “Probably.”
“Doesn’t really matter,” Susie said, getting off her bike. “It’s not like anyone ever checks the camera footage anyways.”
She started to walk the bike off to the side of the road into an adjacent forest where she hid it a couple of metres inside.
Kris followed behind, keeping an ear open. They loved the sound of nature this late at night. It was… calming in a way.
“Plus, the cameras are always saving video at like the worst quality possible,” Susie continued. “Undyne once tried to pin some shoplifting on me and I swore you could barely even tell it was a person on camera. It was just a bunch of garbled pixels that were vaguely purple.”
“Okay but were you the one shoplifting?” Kris asked.
Susie snorted. “I mean obviously.”
Kris ditched their bike next to Susie’s and shrugged off their backpack. As they opened it, they spotted a few cans of spray paint inside along with a couple cans of Four Loko. They grabbed two of the drinks and held one out to Susie.
Susie grinned and took it, cracking it open. “Where do you even get this stuff?”
“Catti,” Kris answered. “Though she’ll only ever get me a couple cans every now and then. Something about not wanting me to die of alcohol poisoning.”
They cracked open their own can and took a big sip, allowing the sickly sweetness of artificial grapes to whisk away their worries.
“Maybe she is kind of cool,” Susie admitted.
She settled upon the ground next to her bikes and shrugged off her own backpack. Inside were more supplies to cause mischief and petty crimes but more importantly she grabbed a pack of cigarettes and flipped open the packaging.
There was a whole row of smokes inside though only half of the ‘cigarettes’ were actually cigarettes. The rest were something a little more illegal.
“And where do you get those?” Kris teased.
Susie pulled out a joint and popped it between her lips. “Stole it from my mom.”
She then brought out a lighter and sparked the tip before inhaling and drawing in a deep drag of smoke. As she held it, she offered the stick to Kris who was more than happy to take it.
Kris placed it between their lips and took a drag as well. The warmth of the smoke was nice and they could understand why people liked this stuff so much.
It may have been a placebo but the effect felt almost instant, filling them with a pleasant warmth that seemed to ebb throughout their entire body.
“Should’ve brought something to munch on,” Susie murmured as she exhaled through her nose. “I always get mad munchies whenever I’m smoking.”
“Probably a couple of vending machines inside,” Kris commented.
“Minigolf vending machine food,” Susie teased, shaking her head. “Truly the classiest dinner imaginable.”
“Hey, if you wanted real food, you should’ve let me know ahead of time,” Kris replied.
Susie snorted. “Why? Did your mom do some baking or something?”
“Yeah, she made a whole batch of brownies,” Kris said, taking a sip of their drink and wincing at the strength of it. “You know, the ones with the caramel inside?”
“Dude!” Susie groaned. “Those are like the best thing ever! Why didn’t you tell me?”
Kris shrugged. “To make you suffer?”
They sighed and closed their eyes, leaning back against the tree. It was nice to feel the cool air of the night against them and the slight burn in their throat as the strong drink went down.
“This is nice,” Kris commented.
Susie snorted. “We haven’t even broken in yet.”
Kris listened to nature as she drew in another drag from the joint, letting it out slowly. The rancid smell of skunk soon became pronounced though by this point Kris was okay with it. The last year had made them intimately familiar with a whole lot of things they wouldn’t have done before.
“Want to shotgun?” Susie asked.
Kris cracked open an eye and smiled. “Hell yeah.”
Susie nodded and took another drag of her joint, drawing in a nice lungful. Then she held it and leaned over, pressing her lips against Kris’. As she exhaled, they inhaled, drawing the smoke into their own lungs.
It was an oddly romantic gesture, sharing weed in such a way. The kiss even included a little tongue which made Kris blush.
Kris reached up and placed a hand on Susie’s shoulder, stroking at the coarse material of her jacket.
As they drew away, Susie snorted. “You taste like grapes.”
Kris exhaled through their nose, sending two contrails of smoke shooting into the late-night air.
“And you taste like you need mouthwash,” they shot back as they stuck their tongue out at her. “When’s the last time you brushed your teeth, dude?”
“This morning,” Susie replied, scrunching their nose. “I just have a lot of teeth to clean and not a whole lot of time to clean them, you know?”
Kris absolutely did not know but nodded nonetheless.
Susie offered the joint to Kris again. It had already shrunk to little more than a useless butt though there was still one hit left which Kris more than eagerly took, drawing in the tantalizing smoke.
They already felt a little lighter and a bit more carefree. It was hard to worry about the little things when alcohol and THC were melding together in their system. The buzz was nice, very nice, and Kris was more than happy to revel in it for a moment.
Susie stood up and offered her hand. “Come on, we have a minigolf course that we need to break into.”
Kris took it and Susie pulled back, practically throwing them to their feet. The action was so jarring that they even yelped as it felt like their arm was about to be pulled out of its freaking socket.
“Shame that Noelle is missing out,” Kris teased.
Susie actually chuckled at that. “Yeah, I bet she would’ve absolutely loved to commit like five crimes with us.” She shook her head. “That girl barely even drinks.”
“Can’t blame her, you know what her mom is like,” Kris said.
Susie snorted. “A stuck-up bitch who glares at me whenever I sit on the furniture.” She scoffed in disgust. “I swear to god, that woman thinks I’m like an animal or something.”
“Well, I mean, you are kind of feral,” Kris teased.
Susie glared at them which only made Kris snicker.
The two of them made their way out of the trees and back onto the road where they advanced to an enclosed venue up ahead. There was a fence around the place and inside were all sorts of minigolf courses with miniature windmills, water traps, and other petite décor on display.
There was also a building at the front which acted as the entrance with a big sign above it.
Ice-E’s Minigolf: We’re Known for More Than Just our Pies.
There were also two cameras perched upon the fixtures of the building, one of them currently looking towards them.
Susie stifled a giggle and flashed it the middle finger.
Though the possible recording didn’t seem to slow her as she walked over to a portion of the fence. And if she was going ahead without a care in the world then Kris was right behind her.
Though they couldn’t help but glance at the camera, wondering just how good it really was. They tried to ignore it as they took another sip of Four Loko. Even with only a half of the can empty they could already feel a pleasant tingle throughout their body.
“How is this stuff even legal?” Kris murmured.
Susie snorted. “It wasn’t for the longest time.”
She reached for the bottom of the fence and pulled upon it roughly. It turned out that this part of the fence hadn’t been secured properly, meaning that she managed to bend it back, creating a hole just large enough for a teenager to slip on through.
Kris went first, squeezing into the space. Their body scraped against the metal and they could feel dirt getting on their jeans and hands. But they got through nonetheless with no scraps of tears to their clothing.
As they sat on the ground, they watched as Susie grunted and tugged even harder upon the gap. This created an even larger hole, allowing herself to slip on through. Her progress was a little tighter but she managed it without tearing her own clothing or skin.
The two of them sat on the other side for a moment, looking around. There was a whole lot to do here and only so little time to do it.
Kris got to their feet and nodded towards a tool shed. “I think that’s where they keep all the golfing stuff.”
Susie was just a few steps behind, following after them.
Together, they made it to the little shed. Though unfortunately it looked like there was a padlock connected to a sturdy looking chain that kept the doors shut.
“Oh, come on,” Kris groaned, sighing as they kicked at the shed. “Probably should’ve seen that coming.”
Susie snorted. “Don’t worry.”
She reached out and fiddled with the lock. While the padlock was properly in place it turned out that no one had actually bothered to lock the thing, merely making it look like it was locked instead.
“I know the guy who works here,” Susie chided. “Dude is the laziest person in the world.”
She tossed the lock aside and opened the shed. Inside were a number of putters and a couple buckets of balls.
“You know…” Susie paused to take another sip of her drink. “I don’t think I’ve ever been mini golfing before.”
Kris snorted. “Weren’t you invited to…”
Susie drew in a breath.
Kris stopped talking and glanced at Susie, seeing that she had stiffened at just those first few words. It was probably not a good idea to ask too many questions about what she did and didn’t get invited to as a kid.
“Never mind,” Kris said.
Susie snorted. “Well, I’m getting a chance to play it now.”
She grabbed herself a couple of balls and stuffed them into her pockets. Then she grabbed a putter and twirled it in her hand, looking quite proud of herself. That is until she fumbled it and nearly sent it flying into a nearby wall. At which point she awkwardly smiled at Kris as she picked it back up.
Kris rolled their eyes and grabbed their own club and collection of balls, stuffing them into their hoodie’s pouch.
“Thanks for recommending this place,” Susie said.
Kris shrugged. “Last time I was here I noticed that there was that gap in the fence. Just felt natural that someone should show these guys the literal hole in their security. Plus, hey…” They pointed at Susie with their club. “There isn’t a girl I’d rather be spending a Wednesday night with.”
They held out their can and Susie clinked hers against it. Then the two of them took another potent sip each.
“Jesus this shit hits hard,” Kris groaned, grimacing at the strong taste.
“Wish I’d been old enough to try it out when it had caffeine in it,” Susie quipped. “I heard that shit would fuck you right up.”
Kris shook their head. “That just sounds like a horrible idea.”
“Reason they had to change the recipe,” Susie said. “College kids kept having heart attacks.”
Together they moved towards a stony path which led to hole number one. This one was simple in design, the tutorial level with only a ninety-degree bend in the path.
“Want me to show you how it’s done,” Kris said, flashing a smile.
Susie smirked. “Sure, woo me with your professional minigolf skills, babe.”
Kris smirked and placed their can on the ground. They then moved over to the starting pad, placing their ball on it.
They took a moment to appraise their surroundings. The air was still today, with no wind, the night calming when combined with the other substances in their system.
They drew in a breath and hit the ball with a modest amount of force. It zipped across the artificial turf, bounced off of the wall, and ricocheted perfectly into the hole.
A hole-in-one.
“Take me now, Kris,” Susie moaned.
Kris snorted. “Shut the fuck up.”
“No, no, that was really hot. I’m absolutely soaked right now,” Susie continued as she let out a faux gasp. “I’ve always wanted a professional minigolfer to take my virginity.
Kris giggled, trying to hide it in the back of their hand. “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”
“I need you to fingerbang me in the Ice-E bathroom,” Susie whispered, holding a hand to her chest. “I need it badly, Kris.”
“You’re disgusting,” Kris grumbled, playfully glaring at her.
They picked their drink back up and took a sip from it before making their way over to the hole. They fished their ball out of it and then stepped off to the side, getting ready to see what Susie could do.
Susie took up position on the starting pad and plopped her ball down upon the ground. She looked at the club in her hand, humming to herself as she weighed it.
“Don’t hit it too hard,” Kris stated. “You only need a little bit of force.”
Susie nodded and drew back the putter before taking a swing.
She clearly had a very different definition of a ‘little bit of force’ as the ball chipped into the air. It flew over the barrier and landed well outside of the course, rolling out of sight.
Susie huffed. “God fucking damnit.”
“Try again,” Kris said.
They offered a reassuring smile, hoping it would help.
Susie nodded and reached into her pocket, grabbing another ball and plopping it down upon the pad. This time she didn’t wind back nearly as much before smacking the ball. The ball managed to stay upon the ground, this time, colliding with the wall and sending it around the bend. It didn’t go all the way into the hole but it got pretty close.
“Fuck yeah!” Susie cheered, pumping her fist in the air.
She then went over to the ball and lightly taped it again, getting it right into the hole.
“Got it in two!” she beamed.
She stumbled over to her drink and picked it back up, taking a victorious sip.
Then she looked at Kris. “That was two, right?”
“I’m not keeping score,” Kris said, flashing a smile that said otherwise.
Susie glared at them. “You totally are.”
“Wouldn’t even dream of it,” Kris said as they marched onto the next hole. “But if I was, I’d count that first shot you whiffed.”
“Asshole,” Susie grumbled.
The next hole was a little more complex and featured a couple of zig zags though it still lacked any of the really zany features. Though those would be coming shortly as Kris spotted the fabled loop-de-loop on the third hole.
“We really need to be a worse influence on Noelle,” Susie teased.
Kris nodded. “She’s really missing out.”
“Does she even like minigolf?” Susie asked as she looked towards Kris.
Kris took a sip of their drink and sighed. “I think she’s a fan of whatever makes other people happy. Which uh… I just realized is maybe not the most productive or healthy answer in the world.”
They were nearing the bottom of their can so they tilted it back and enjoyed the last little morsel that lingered at the bottom. Instead of tossing it into the trash, they merely flung it into one of the many water traps where the aluminum bobbed away.
“Gosh did you just litter?” Susie chided, flashing a proud little smile.
Kris stuck out their tongue at her. “You got a problem with that.”
“Nah, I kind of dig that whole bad boy… er… girl… er…” Susie chuckled and rubbed at her hair. “You know what I mean?”
Kris nodded. “Let’s go with bad girl, I’m feeling femme tonight.”
“Fine, I like the whole bad girl thing you got going on,” Susie said.
“What can I say?” Kris shrugged. “I guess you’re rubbing off on me.”
Susie snorted. “Like you have a problem acting out before.”
Kris reached into their pocket and produced another ball, tossing it onto the pad. Their vision swam a little but they managed to settle themselves enough to draw back the club and take a thwack at the ball.
It zoomed across the green and bounced off of the barriers, getting about two-thirds of the way towards the hole.
“Nice shot,” Susie said.
Kris nodded and looked at her. “Can I have a cigarette?”
“Are you sure you can handle one on your own?” Susie asked.
There was a hint of genuine concern in her eyes.
“I’m not Noelle,” Kris teased, holding out their hand.
“I don’t know about that.” Susie snorted. “When it comes to cigarettes you two are pretty much the same. You take one puff and then have to sit down for ten minutes.”
Still, she produced the same pack of cigarettes and flipped it open. She pulled out a proper cigarette and held it out to Kris.
Kris took it and placed it between their lips before taking the lighter that Susie offered. They lit the tip of the cigarette and inhaled slowly. The hot smoke filled their mouth and then their lungs as they inhaled. They held it for a couple long seconds before letting it out in a contrail of ashen white smoke.
The nicotine made Kris shiver, their digits growing numb and world becoming hyper focused on the moment. They really wanted to sit down but they also didn’t want to prove Susie correct. So, they instead stood there, shivering as they watched their girlfriend come up to the starting pad and place her own ball down.
They hated that they were quivering from the rush but they knew it would pass in time.
Susie studied the terrain and drew in a breath. She then wound back and hit the ball. This time it actually glided across the turf and didn’t fly outside of the barrier. The strike was impressive and made the ball shoot beyond Kris’, all the way to the hole. Though it stopped at the very last moment, denying her a hole in one.
Kris whistled. “Nice shot, babe.”
“I’m a quick learner,” Susie teased.
The two of them walked over to their balls and each took a turn smacking them into the hole.
“You know this is…” Susie shrugged. “This is kind of nice.”
Kris smirked. “It is, yeah.”
Susie came up beside them and draped an arm over their shoulder, holding them close. She then leaned over and kissed them on the cheek.
“I love being with Noelle but…” Susie snorted, obviously hoping that the implications of her sentence would get the job done for her.
Kris nodded, picking up on enough of them. “Miss the good old days of just us hanging out together?”
“Yeah, it’s… I don’t know…” Susie took a sip from her drink. “I guess she’s changed our lives for the better but I also kind of miss some of the things we lost.”
She drew away and made her way over to the vending machine.
“Like…” She looked over her shoulder. “Do you remember that time we broke into that abandoned warehouse?”
Kris nodded and followed after her. “Explored that place for hours.” They snorted. “Still glad I talked you into wearing a mask around that place.”
“How was I supposed to know it was full of asbestos!” Susie interjected.
“Because it was built in the 1950s,” Kris shot back, shaking their head. “And was covered in signs that said ‘caution: asbestos present.’”
“Anyways,” Susie continued. “I was just going to say how cool it was sitting on the roof of that place with you when the sun came up.”
Kris smirked, remembering that sunrise quite fondly. Though they remembered the kiss that followed it even better.
“And we get to do less of that stuff now that we’re dating Noelle,” Susie said, sighing. “It feels like we kind of lost something by playing it safe with her.”
Kris nodded. “But we also gained something too.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s true.” Susie smiled. “Noelle is pretty great.”
“She is,” Kris said.
Susie stood before the vending machine and rubbed her chin. It was one of the newer models and featured an electronic payment system and digital buttons. Two features that were utterly useless as the machine had been powered down for the night.
“How much of a misdemeanour is it to break into a vending machine?” she asked.
Kris hummed. “We’d probably only get a fine for stealing the food. Property damage though…” They shook their head. “Can’t imagine they’d really pin anything on us for something this small.”
Susie nodded and turned sideways, bracing her elbow against the strong plastic. She then wound back and slammed her arm into the surface. The screen merely shuddered against the impact but Susie wasn’t so easily perturbed as she plowed her elbow into it again and again. She grunted over and over until finally the screen gave out.
Unlike glass, the plastic merely popped out at the final blow, giving them easy access to the treats inside.
“Barely any property damage,” Susie said, flashing Kris a smile.
She reached inside and grabbed a couple candy bars before tossing a bag of Doritos and a package of Skittles to Kris.
Kris smirked as they caught them. “Thanks, babe.”
“Hey, I promised I’d get you dinner someday,” Susie teased. “I’m just a classy bitch like that.”
The two of them returned to the minigolf golf course and sat down upon the wooden railing that surrounded the third hole.
Susie looked at the loop and shook her head. “Let me guess, this is the hole that you either get in one try or a million?”
Kris nodded, shoving a handful of chips into their mouth.
Susie closed her eyes and drew in a breath before reaching into her coat pocket and grabbing her pack of smokes. She chose a joint this time around and placed it between her lips.
“Did you know that Alphys once caught me smoking weed at school?” she asked.
Kris smirked. “I think I’ve heard this story before.”
“She looked right at me and just went: ‘damn are kids really still smoking mids?’” She snickered. “God, she is such a cool teacher.”
Kris looked at their cigarette and realized it had gone out.
Thankfully, Susie had also noticed this as well and handed them her lighter.
Kris lit the tip again and took in another drag. Smoking really did help to clear away some of the brain fog that was currently besieging them. It was magic what a little nicotine could do when you were high as shit.
Though the munchies still remained as they polished off the little bag of chips, shaking the last of the crumbs into their mouth.
“But don’t you dare tell anyone I said that,” Susie warned. “Because I’m not above kicking your ass to save my street cred.”
“You do not have street cred,” Kris grumbled, rolling their eyes.
Susie snorted. “Sure, I do, I’m the bad girl who everyone is scared of.”
“Yeah, maybe like six months ago before you started hanging out with Noelle and Berdly,” Kris teased. “Hanging with Berdly is like the opposite of street cred.”
“Hey, hey, hey.” Susie held up a defensive hand. “I have a good feeling about Berdly, okay?”
Kris snorted. “He will not make us MDMA.”
“But he knows so much science stuff, Kris!” Susie exclaimed, groaning in frustration as she cradled her face in her hands. “What’s the point of knowing atoms and shit if you aren’t going to use it to help your friends?”
“I’d imagine so he can go to college and then get a boring job making prescription drugs or cleaning products or something like that,” Kris said, flashing a smile. “Probably make a whole lot more doing that anyways.”
Susie sighed. “I just want to try it out one of these days.”
“Then we should keep an eye out for a dealer,” Kris said before glancing at Susie. “And no, we’re not going with the guy who sells your parents pot. That dude has bad vibes written all over him.”
They opened the pack of Skittles and popped one into their mouth. It might’ve been a placebo effect but they swore that the candy tasted way better when eaten in between hurried puffs of their cigarette.
Though the added sugar did little to help with the shivers of nicotine-induced energy that coursed through them.
“Fine!” Susie huffed. “I guess I’ll be patient.”
Kris smirked. “Someone needs to make sure that you don’t do anything stupid.”
They leaned over and kissed Susie on the cheek.
“What are you gay for me or something?” Susie asked
She snorted but couldn’t help but smile back.
“Believe it or not I am extremely gay for you, you silly little dork,” Kris replied.
“Dork!” Susie’s eyes widened. “That’s rich coming from someone who hangs out with Berdly, you dweeb.”
She turned to face Kris and the two of them looked into each other's eyes. Though any faux aggression faded in an instant as the two of them dipped forwards and shared a kiss. It was a little one, a mere peck and nothing more.
But Kris had learned that when it came to Susie these little pecks were worth a whole lot.
“I haven’t really done a good job of keeping you out of trouble tonight,” Kris murmured. “Noelle would probably kill us if she knew what we were doing.”
“Nah, she’d be miffed,” Susie replied. She then flashed a tight little smile. “Her mom on the other hand? Now that woman would fucking kill us without hesitation.” She cocked a finger gun and shot it off. “Bam, right at the door with a shotgun.”
“She isn’t all bad,” Kris said.
Though they knew their words felt weak. Maybe the Holidays and Dreemurrs had been friends a long time ago but that bond wasn’t nearly as strong as it once was. The very thought about it made a cold dread fill their stomach.
“Anyways, do you want to finish our game?” Susie asked.
Kris stirred and looked at the course, nodding. They stood up slowly and tossed their trash aside. Once at the plate, they picked their club back up and reached into their hoodie, grabbing another ball to play with.
Though just as they stood ready to hit the ball, a beam of light erupted from the darkness and bathed them in its powerful glow.
Kris flinched away from it and so did Susie. Though as their eyes adjusted, they could see that there was a very familiar blue police officer scowling at them.
“Fuck…” Susie whispered.
Kris drew in a breath. “Uh…”
“Hello Susie,” Officer Undyne growled before nodding towards Kris with equal annoyance. “Kris.”
“Undyne,” Kris replied, struggling to speak but managing to work through the lump in their throat.
Susie squinted. “Do you have a hickey on your neck?”
Undyne drew in a breath and Kris noticed that a fresh dose of red had entered her complexion. “I’ll be the one asking the questions here.” She then cleared her throat. “And by that, I mean I’ll be asking them back at the station because it’s freezing tonight.”
She motioned for them to follow and the two of them reluctantly did.
After all, there was no better option.
Undyne glared at them from across her desk. Her eyes were rimmed with a tired black and in the better lighting of the police station Kris could very much make out the blemished hickies that were present upon her neck.
“So, who’s wise idea, was it?” she asked.
Kris shrugged. “Kind of a mutual idea, really.”
Susie nodded. “Just wanted to play some minigolf and tonight felt like a good night. It’s not our fault that the place was closed.”
“Well let’s see what I’ve got you pegged for so far,” Undyne murmured, flipping open a page on her notes. “Trespassing, theft totaling less than five hundred dollars, property damage totalling less than five hundred dollars, underaged drinking, underaged smoking, and possession of marijuana but less than twenty grams.”
“Sounds like an awful lot of misdemeanours,” Kris replied.
Undyne huffed. “Teaching you kids civics in school was a mistake.” She tented her fingers together and looked at Susie. “And may I ask where you got your marijuana from because I’d prefer if there weren’t hard drugs on my streets.”
Kriss scoffed.
‘Hard Drugs.’
Susie shrugged. “My mom.”
“God…” Undyne huffed. “I hate your mom.”
“Likewise,” Susie grumbled, glaring at her.
“Look, I’m not going to send you kids to juvie over this,” Undyne scolded. “Because I’ll admit that you two have gotten a whole lot better in the last six months. But I also need to give you a very firm talking to and I sure as shit need to make sure this isn’t going to happen again.”
“Good luck with that,” Susie said, flashing a tight little smile.
Undyne glared at her. “Or would you prefer that I ruined your entire life by giving you a criminal record at sixteen?”
Susie opened her mouth to speak.
Kris winced. “She doesn’t speak for me!”
“Traitor!” Susie gasped, glaring at them.
“Look my mom would kick my ass if I ended up with a record,” Kris hissed.
“I’m not giving you a record,” Undyne grumbled, shaking her head. “At least not yet. But I also took steps to ensure that something like this isn’t going to happen again.”
“Like what?” Susie asked.
Undyne glanced at her watch. As the seconds ticked along her smile only seemed to grow.
“Well, Susie, your parents haven’t been all that productive in fixing your problematic behaviour and neither have yours Kris,” Undyne said.
Kris swallowed a lump in their throat.
“But I’ve talked with your teacher,” Undyne continued, “and she’s told me about a possible source for your sudden improvement.”
She looked up at them and flashed a wide smile, showing off all of those razor-sharp teeth inside of her mouth.
There was a knock at the police station door and Kris immediately froze. They looked towards Susie and saw that a similar paralysis had stricken her as well.
Had they both come to the same realization at once?
“No,” Kris whispered.
Susie swallowed a lump in her throat and looked at Undyne. “This has to be against the Geneva Convention or something.”
Undyne ignored them and looked towards the door. “Come in!”
The door opened and Kris forced themselves to look forward as they heard familiar little feet step inside. They were light, like a deer, soft but familiar.
“Shit,” Susie breathed.
“You two are so unbelievable!” Noelle shouted. “I needed one night to myself and the next thing I know, I’m getting a call from the police telling me that they caught you two breaking into a minigolf place and causing property damage.”
“It was only a vending machine!” Susie tried.
Her attempt was rebutted by a harsh scoffing sound.
“I am so unbelievably disappointed in you two,” Noelle huffed. She then sniffed the air. “And do I smell cigarette smoke? Have you been smoking again, Susie?”
Kris glared at Undyne whose smile only seemed to grow at their misery. This woman was proof that every Twitter handle with ACAB was completely and utterly justified.
“And the next thing!” Noelle began though promptly paused. “Wait… is that a hickey on your neck, Officer Undyne.”
Undyne’s smile promptly fell. “Err… let’s stay on topic here.”
Susie snickered.
“Fine,” Noelle growled, letting out a terse note as she refocused her attention on her partners. “I’m going to have to keep a close eye on both of you so I can make sure that neither of you get into any more trouble. Because I’ll be honest, having either of you go to juvie over this kind of bullshit would make this polycule really difficult to be in.”
“Did Noelle just swear,” Susie whispered.
Kris sighed. “I’m sorry, Noelle.”
Their apology didn’t seem to even make her pause.
“First things first,” Noelle warned. “I’ll be making sure that both of you go back to that place tomorrow morning and apologize to the owner.”
“But… but…” Susie tried.
Noelle snorted. “There will be no buts, Susie! Officer Undyne has tasked me with your rehabilitation and I’ll make damn sure you’re rehabilitated.”
Undyne smirked. “Thank you, Noelle.”
“Am I understood?” Noelle huffed.
Two heads nodded in unison.
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What more could Susie and Kris ask for?
my end of an art trade with MythMonster2!
Kris brought their bike to a halt, just underneath another lonely street light on a road at the edge of town. Beside them another bike came to a skidding halt as a heavy foot thudded against the ground.
“Think this place has cameras?” Susie asked.
Kris shrugged. “Probably.”
“Doesn’t really matter,” Susie said, getting off her bike. “It’s not like anyone ever checks the camera footage anyways.”
She started to walk the bike off to the side of the road into an adjacent forest where she hid it a couple of metres inside.
Kris followed behind, keeping an ear open. They loved the sound of nature this late at night. It was… calming in a way.
“Plus, the cameras are always saving video at like the worst quality possible,” Susie continued. “Undyne once tried to pin some shoplifting on me and I swore you could barely even tell it was a person on camera. It was just a bunch of garbled pixels that were vaguely purple.”
“Okay but were you the one shoplifting?” Kris asked.
Susie snorted. “I mean obviously.”
Kris ditched their bike next to Susie’s and shrugged off their backpack. As they opened it, they spotted a few cans of spray paint inside along with a couple cans of Four Loko. They grabbed two of the drinks and held one out to Susie.
Susie grinned and took it, cracking it open. “Where do you even get this stuff?”
“Catti,” Kris answered. “Though she’ll only ever get me a couple cans every now and then. Something about not wanting me to die of alcohol poisoning.”
They cracked open their own can and took a big sip, allowing the sickly sweetness of artificial grapes to whisk away their worries.
“Maybe she is kind of cool,” Susie admitted.
She settled upon the ground next to her bikes and shrugged off her own backpack. Inside were more supplies to cause mischief and petty crimes but more importantly she grabbed a pack of cigarettes and flipped open the packaging.
There was a whole row of smokes inside though only half of the ‘cigarettes’ were actually cigarettes. The rest were something a little more illegal.
“And where do you get those?” Kris teased.
Susie pulled out a joint and popped it between her lips. “Stole it from my mom.”
She then brought out a lighter and sparked the tip before inhaling and drawing in a deep drag of smoke. As she held it, she offered the stick to Kris who was more than happy to take it.
Kris placed it between their lips and took a drag as well. The warmth of the smoke was nice and they could understand why people liked this stuff so much.
It may have been a placebo but the effect felt almost instant, filling them with a pleasant warmth that seemed to ebb throughout their entire body.
“Should’ve brought something to munch on,” Susie murmured as she exhaled through her nose. “I always get mad munchies whenever I’m smoking.”
“Probably a couple of vending machines inside,” Kris commented.
“Minigolf vending machine food,” Susie teased, shaking her head. “Truly the classiest dinner imaginable.”
“Hey, if you wanted real food, you should’ve let me know ahead of time,” Kris replied.
Susie snorted. “Why? Did your mom do some baking or something?”
“Yeah, she made a whole batch of brownies,” Kris said, taking a sip of their drink and wincing at the strength of it. “You know, the ones with the caramel inside?”
“Dude!” Susie groaned. “Those are like the best thing ever! Why didn’t you tell me?”
Kris shrugged. “To make you suffer?”
They sighed and closed their eyes, leaning back against the tree. It was nice to feel the cool air of the night against them and the slight burn in their throat as the strong drink went down.
“This is nice,” Kris commented.
Susie snorted. “We haven’t even broken in yet.”
Kris listened to nature as she drew in another drag from the joint, letting it out slowly. The rancid smell of skunk soon became pronounced though by this point Kris was okay with it. The last year had made them intimately familiar with a whole lot of things they wouldn’t have done before.
“Want to shotgun?” Susie asked.
Kris cracked open an eye and smiled. “Hell yeah.”
Susie nodded and took another drag of her joint, drawing in a nice lungful. Then she held it and leaned over, pressing her lips against Kris’. As she exhaled, they inhaled, drawing the smoke into their own lungs.
It was an oddly romantic gesture, sharing weed in such a way. The kiss even included a little tongue which made Kris blush.
Kris reached up and placed a hand on Susie’s shoulder, stroking at the coarse material of her jacket.
As they drew away, Susie snorted. “You taste like grapes.”
Kris exhaled through their nose, sending two contrails of smoke shooting into the late-night air.
“And you taste like you need mouthwash,” they shot back as they stuck their tongue out at her. “When’s the last time you brushed your teeth, dude?”
“This morning,” Susie replied, scrunching their nose. “I just have a lot of teeth to clean and not a whole lot of time to clean them, you know?”
Kris absolutely did not know but nodded nonetheless.
Susie offered the joint to Kris again. It had already shrunk to little more than a useless butt though there was still one hit left which Kris more than eagerly took, drawing in the tantalizing smoke.
They already felt a little lighter and a bit more carefree. It was hard to worry about the little things when alcohol and THC were melding together in their system. The buzz was nice, very nice, and Kris was more than happy to revel in it for a moment.
Susie stood up and offered her hand. “Come on, we have a minigolf course that we need to break into.”
Kris took it and Susie pulled back, practically throwing them to their feet. The action was so jarring that they even yelped as it felt like their arm was about to be pulled out of its freaking socket.
“Shame that Noelle is missing out,” Kris teased.
Susie actually chuckled at that. “Yeah, I bet she would’ve absolutely loved to commit like five crimes with us.” She shook her head. “That girl barely even drinks.”
“Can’t blame her, you know what her mom is like,” Kris said.
Susie snorted. “A stuck-up bitch who glares at me whenever I sit on the furniture.” She scoffed in disgust. “I swear to god, that woman thinks I’m like an animal or something.”
“Well, I mean, you are kind of feral,” Kris teased.
Susie glared at them which only made Kris snicker.
The two of them made their way out of the trees and back onto the road where they advanced to an enclosed venue up ahead. There was a fence around the place and inside were all sorts of minigolf courses with miniature windmills, water traps, and other petite décor on display.
There was also a building at the front which acted as the entrance with a big sign above it.
Ice-E’s Minigolf: We’re Known for More Than Just our Pies.
There were also two cameras perched upon the fixtures of the building, one of them currently looking towards them.
Susie stifled a giggle and flashed it the middle finger.
Though the possible recording didn’t seem to slow her as she walked over to a portion of the fence. And if she was going ahead without a care in the world then Kris was right behind her.
Though they couldn’t help but glance at the camera, wondering just how good it really was. They tried to ignore it as they took another sip of Four Loko. Even with only a half of the can empty they could already feel a pleasant tingle throughout their body.
“How is this stuff even legal?” Kris murmured.
Susie snorted. “It wasn’t for the longest time.”
She reached for the bottom of the fence and pulled upon it roughly. It turned out that this part of the fence hadn’t been secured properly, meaning that she managed to bend it back, creating a hole just large enough for a teenager to slip on through.
Kris went first, squeezing into the space. Their body scraped against the metal and they could feel dirt getting on their jeans and hands. But they got through nonetheless with no scraps of tears to their clothing.
As they sat on the ground, they watched as Susie grunted and tugged even harder upon the gap. This created an even larger hole, allowing herself to slip on through. Her progress was a little tighter but she managed it without tearing her own clothing or skin.
The two of them sat on the other side for a moment, looking around. There was a whole lot to do here and only so little time to do it.
Kris got to their feet and nodded towards a tool shed. “I think that’s where they keep all the golfing stuff.”
Susie was just a few steps behind, following after them.
Together, they made it to the little shed. Though unfortunately it looked like there was a padlock connected to a sturdy looking chain that kept the doors shut.
“Oh, come on,” Kris groaned, sighing as they kicked at the shed. “Probably should’ve seen that coming.”
Susie snorted. “Don’t worry.”
She reached out and fiddled with the lock. While the padlock was properly in place it turned out that no one had actually bothered to lock the thing, merely making it look like it was locked instead.
“I know the guy who works here,” Susie chided. “Dude is the laziest person in the world.”
She tossed the lock aside and opened the shed. Inside were a number of putters and a couple buckets of balls.
“You know…” Susie paused to take another sip of her drink. “I don’t think I’ve ever been mini golfing before.”
Kris snorted. “Weren’t you invited to…”
Susie drew in a breath.
Kris stopped talking and glanced at Susie, seeing that she had stiffened at just those first few words. It was probably not a good idea to ask too many questions about what she did and didn’t get invited to as a kid.
“Never mind,” Kris said.
Susie snorted. “Well, I’m getting a chance to play it now.”
She grabbed herself a couple of balls and stuffed them into her pockets. Then she grabbed a putter and twirled it in her hand, looking quite proud of herself. That is until she fumbled it and nearly sent it flying into a nearby wall. At which point she awkwardly smiled at Kris as she picked it back up.
Kris rolled their eyes and grabbed their own club and collection of balls, stuffing them into their hoodie’s pouch.
“Thanks for recommending this place,” Susie said.
Kris shrugged. “Last time I was here I noticed that there was that gap in the fence. Just felt natural that someone should show these guys the literal hole in their security. Plus, hey…” They pointed at Susie with their club. “There isn’t a girl I’d rather be spending a Wednesday night with.”
They held out their can and Susie clinked hers against it. Then the two of them took another potent sip each.
“Jesus this shit hits hard,” Kris groaned, grimacing at the strong taste.
“Wish I’d been old enough to try it out when it had caffeine in it,” Susie quipped. “I heard that shit would fuck you right up.”
Kris shook their head. “That just sounds like a horrible idea.”
“Reason they had to change the recipe,” Susie said. “College kids kept having heart attacks.”
Together they moved towards a stony path which led to hole number one. This one was simple in design, the tutorial level with only a ninety-degree bend in the path.
“Want me to show you how it’s done,” Kris said, flashing a smile.
Susie smirked. “Sure, woo me with your professional minigolf skills, babe.”
Kris smirked and placed their can on the ground. They then moved over to the starting pad, placing their ball on it.
They took a moment to appraise their surroundings. The air was still today, with no wind, the night calming when combined with the other substances in their system.
They drew in a breath and hit the ball with a modest amount of force. It zipped across the artificial turf, bounced off of the wall, and ricocheted perfectly into the hole.
A hole-in-one.
“Take me now, Kris,” Susie moaned.
Kris snorted. “Shut the fuck up.”
“No, no, that was really hot. I’m absolutely soaked right now,” Susie continued as she let out a faux gasp. “I’ve always wanted a professional minigolfer to take my virginity.
Kris giggled, trying to hide it in the back of their hand. “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”
“I need you to fingerbang me in the Ice-E bathroom,” Susie whispered, holding a hand to her chest. “I need it badly, Kris.”
“You’re disgusting,” Kris grumbled, playfully glaring at her.
They picked their drink back up and took a sip from it before making their way over to the hole. They fished their ball out of it and then stepped off to the side, getting ready to see what Susie could do.
Susie took up position on the starting pad and plopped her ball down upon the ground. She looked at the club in her hand, humming to herself as she weighed it.
“Don’t hit it too hard,” Kris stated. “You only need a little bit of force.”
Susie nodded and drew back the putter before taking a swing.
She clearly had a very different definition of a ‘little bit of force’ as the ball chipped into the air. It flew over the barrier and landed well outside of the course, rolling out of sight.
Susie huffed. “God fucking damnit.”
“Try again,” Kris said.
They offered a reassuring smile, hoping it would help.
Susie nodded and reached into her pocket, grabbing another ball and plopping it down upon the pad. This time she didn’t wind back nearly as much before smacking the ball. The ball managed to stay upon the ground, this time, colliding with the wall and sending it around the bend. It didn’t go all the way into the hole but it got pretty close.
“Fuck yeah!” Susie cheered, pumping her fist in the air.
She then went over to the ball and lightly taped it again, getting it right into the hole.
“Got it in two!” she beamed.
She stumbled over to her drink and picked it back up, taking a victorious sip.
Then she looked at Kris. “That was two, right?”
“I’m not keeping score,” Kris said, flashing a smile that said otherwise.
Susie glared at them. “You totally are.”
“Wouldn’t even dream of it,” Kris said as they marched onto the next hole. “But if I was, I’d count that first shot you whiffed.”
“Asshole,” Susie grumbled.
The next hole was a little more complex and featured a couple of zig zags though it still lacked any of the really zany features. Though those would be coming shortly as Kris spotted the fabled loop-de-loop on the third hole.
“We really need to be a worse influence on Noelle,” Susie teased.
Kris nodded. “She’s really missing out.”
“Does she even like minigolf?” Susie asked as she looked towards Kris.
Kris took a sip of their drink and sighed. “I think she’s a fan of whatever makes other people happy. Which uh… I just realized is maybe not the most productive or healthy answer in the world.”
They were nearing the bottom of their can so they tilted it back and enjoyed the last little morsel that lingered at the bottom. Instead of tossing it into the trash, they merely flung it into one of the many water traps where the aluminum bobbed away.
“Gosh did you just litter?” Susie chided, flashing a proud little smile.
Kris stuck out their tongue at her. “You got a problem with that.”
“Nah, I kind of dig that whole bad boy… er… girl… er…” Susie chuckled and rubbed at her hair. “You know what I mean?”
Kris nodded. “Let’s go with bad girl, I’m feeling femme tonight.”
“Fine, I like the whole bad girl thing you got going on,” Susie said.
“What can I say?” Kris shrugged. “I guess you’re rubbing off on me.”
Susie snorted. “Like you have a problem acting out before.”
Kris reached into their pocket and produced another ball, tossing it onto the pad. Their vision swam a little but they managed to settle themselves enough to draw back the club and take a thwack at the ball.
It zoomed across the green and bounced off of the barriers, getting about two-thirds of the way towards the hole.
“Nice shot,” Susie said.
Kris nodded and looked at her. “Can I have a cigarette?”
“Are you sure you can handle one on your own?” Susie asked.
There was a hint of genuine concern in her eyes.
“I’m not Noelle,” Kris teased, holding out their hand.
“I don’t know about that.” Susie snorted. “When it comes to cigarettes you two are pretty much the same. You take one puff and then have to sit down for ten minutes.”
Still, she produced the same pack of cigarettes and flipped it open. She pulled out a proper cigarette and held it out to Kris.
Kris took it and placed it between their lips before taking the lighter that Susie offered. They lit the tip of the cigarette and inhaled slowly. The hot smoke filled their mouth and then their lungs as they inhaled. They held it for a couple long seconds before letting it out in a contrail of ashen white smoke.
The nicotine made Kris shiver, their digits growing numb and world becoming hyper focused on the moment. They really wanted to sit down but they also didn’t want to prove Susie correct. So, they instead stood there, shivering as they watched their girlfriend come up to the starting pad and place her own ball down.
They hated that they were quivering from the rush but they knew it would pass in time.
Susie studied the terrain and drew in a breath. She then wound back and hit the ball. This time it actually glided across the turf and didn’t fly outside of the barrier. The strike was impressive and made the ball shoot beyond Kris’, all the way to the hole. Though it stopped at the very last moment, denying her a hole in one.
Kris whistled. “Nice shot, babe.”
“I’m a quick learner,” Susie teased.
The two of them walked over to their balls and each took a turn smacking them into the hole.
“You know this is…” Susie shrugged. “This is kind of nice.”
Kris smirked. “It is, yeah.”
Susie came up beside them and draped an arm over their shoulder, holding them close. She then leaned over and kissed them on the cheek.
“I love being with Noelle but…” Susie snorted, obviously hoping that the implications of her sentence would get the job done for her.
Kris nodded, picking up on enough of them. “Miss the good old days of just us hanging out together?”
“Yeah, it’s… I don’t know…” Susie took a sip from her drink. “I guess she’s changed our lives for the better but I also kind of miss some of the things we lost.”
She drew away and made her way over to the vending machine.
“Like…” She looked over her shoulder. “Do you remember that time we broke into that abandoned warehouse?”
Kris nodded and followed after her. “Explored that place for hours.” They snorted. “Still glad I talked you into wearing a mask around that place.”
“How was I supposed to know it was full of asbestos!” Susie interjected.
“Because it was built in the 1950s,” Kris shot back, shaking their head. “And was covered in signs that said ‘caution: asbestos present.’”
“Anyways,” Susie continued. “I was just going to say how cool it was sitting on the roof of that place with you when the sun came up.”
Kris smirked, remembering that sunrise quite fondly. Though they remembered the kiss that followed it even better.
“And we get to do less of that stuff now that we’re dating Noelle,” Susie said, sighing. “It feels like we kind of lost something by playing it safe with her.”
Kris nodded. “But we also gained something too.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s true.” Susie smiled. “Noelle is pretty great.”
“She is,” Kris said.
Susie stood before the vending machine and rubbed her chin. It was one of the newer models and featured an electronic payment system and digital buttons. Two features that were utterly useless as the machine had been powered down for the night.
“How much of a misdemeanour is it to break into a vending machine?” she asked.
Kris hummed. “We’d probably only get a fine for stealing the food. Property damage though…” They shook their head. “Can’t imagine they’d really pin anything on us for something this small.”
Susie nodded and turned sideways, bracing her elbow against the strong plastic. She then wound back and slammed her arm into the surface. The screen merely shuddered against the impact but Susie wasn’t so easily perturbed as she plowed her elbow into it again and again. She grunted over and over until finally the screen gave out.
Unlike glass, the plastic merely popped out at the final blow, giving them easy access to the treats inside.
“Barely any property damage,” Susie said, flashing Kris a smile.
She reached inside and grabbed a couple candy bars before tossing a bag of Doritos and a package of Skittles to Kris.
Kris smirked as they caught them. “Thanks, babe.”
“Hey, I promised I’d get you dinner someday,” Susie teased. “I’m just a classy bitch like that.”
The two of them returned to the minigolf golf course and sat down upon the wooden railing that surrounded the third hole.
Susie looked at the loop and shook her head. “Let me guess, this is the hole that you either get in one try or a million?”
Kris nodded, shoving a handful of chips into their mouth.
Susie closed her eyes and drew in a breath before reaching into her coat pocket and grabbing her pack of smokes. She chose a joint this time around and placed it between her lips.
“Did you know that Alphys once caught me smoking weed at school?” she asked.
Kris smirked. “I think I’ve heard this story before.”
“She looked right at me and just went: ‘damn are kids really still smoking mids?’” She snickered. “God, she is such a cool teacher.”
Kris looked at their cigarette and realized it had gone out.
Thankfully, Susie had also noticed this as well and handed them her lighter.
Kris lit the tip again and took in another drag. Smoking really did help to clear away some of the brain fog that was currently besieging them. It was magic what a little nicotine could do when you were high as shit.
Though the munchies still remained as they polished off the little bag of chips, shaking the last of the crumbs into their mouth.
“But don’t you dare tell anyone I said that,” Susie warned. “Because I’m not above kicking your ass to save my street cred.”
“You do not have street cred,” Kris grumbled, rolling their eyes.
Susie snorted. “Sure, I do, I’m the bad girl who everyone is scared of.”
“Yeah, maybe like six months ago before you started hanging out with Noelle and Berdly,” Kris teased. “Hanging with Berdly is like the opposite of street cred.”
“Hey, hey, hey.” Susie held up a defensive hand. “I have a good feeling about Berdly, okay?”
Kris snorted. “He will not make us MDMA.”
“But he knows so much science stuff, Kris!” Susie exclaimed, groaning in frustration as she cradled her face in her hands. “What’s the point of knowing atoms and shit if you aren’t going to use it to help your friends?”
“I’d imagine so he can go to college and then get a boring job making prescription drugs or cleaning products or something like that,” Kris said, flashing a smile. “Probably make a whole lot more doing that anyways.”
Susie sighed. “I just want to try it out one of these days.”
“Then we should keep an eye out for a dealer,” Kris said before glancing at Susie. “And no, we’re not going with the guy who sells your parents pot. That dude has bad vibes written all over him.”
They opened the pack of Skittles and popped one into their mouth. It might’ve been a placebo effect but they swore that the candy tasted way better when eaten in between hurried puffs of their cigarette.
Though the added sugar did little to help with the shivers of nicotine-induced energy that coursed through them.
“Fine!” Susie huffed. “I guess I’ll be patient.”
Kris smirked. “Someone needs to make sure that you don’t do anything stupid.”
They leaned over and kissed Susie on the cheek.
“What are you gay for me or something?” Susie asked
She snorted but couldn’t help but smile back.
“Believe it or not I am extremely gay for you, you silly little dork,” Kris replied.
“Dork!” Susie’s eyes widened. “That’s rich coming from someone who hangs out with Berdly, you dweeb.”
She turned to face Kris and the two of them looked into each other's eyes. Though any faux aggression faded in an instant as the two of them dipped forwards and shared a kiss. It was a little one, a mere peck and nothing more.
But Kris had learned that when it came to Susie these little pecks were worth a whole lot.
“I haven’t really done a good job of keeping you out of trouble tonight,” Kris murmured. “Noelle would probably kill us if she knew what we were doing.”
“Nah, she’d be miffed,” Susie replied. She then flashed a tight little smile. “Her mom on the other hand? Now that woman would fucking kill us without hesitation.” She cocked a finger gun and shot it off. “Bam, right at the door with a shotgun.”
“She isn’t all bad,” Kris said.
Though they knew their words felt weak. Maybe the Holidays and Dreemurrs had been friends a long time ago but that bond wasn’t nearly as strong as it once was. The very thought about it made a cold dread fill their stomach.
“Anyways, do you want to finish our game?” Susie asked.
Kris stirred and looked at the course, nodding. They stood up slowly and tossed their trash aside. Once at the plate, they picked their club back up and reached into their hoodie, grabbing another ball to play with.
Though just as they stood ready to hit the ball, a beam of light erupted from the darkness and bathed them in its powerful glow.
Kris flinched away from it and so did Susie. Though as their eyes adjusted, they could see that there was a very familiar blue police officer scowling at them.
“Fuck…” Susie whispered.
Kris drew in a breath. “Uh…”
“Hello Susie,” Officer Undyne growled before nodding towards Kris with equal annoyance. “Kris.”
“Undyne,” Kris replied, struggling to speak but managing to work through the lump in their throat.
Susie squinted. “Do you have a hickey on your neck?”
Undyne drew in a breath and Kris noticed that a fresh dose of red had entered her complexion. “I’ll be the one asking the questions here.” She then cleared her throat. “And by that, I mean I’ll be asking them back at the station because it’s freezing tonight.”
She motioned for them to follow and the two of them reluctantly did.
After all, there was no better option.
Undyne glared at them from across her desk. Her eyes were rimmed with a tired black and in the better lighting of the police station Kris could very much make out the blemished hickies that were present upon her neck.
“So, who’s wise idea, was it?” she asked.
Kris shrugged. “Kind of a mutual idea, really.”
Susie nodded. “Just wanted to play some minigolf and tonight felt like a good night. It’s not our fault that the place was closed.”
“Well let’s see what I’ve got you pegged for so far,” Undyne murmured, flipping open a page on her notes. “Trespassing, theft totaling less than five hundred dollars, property damage totalling less than five hundred dollars, underaged drinking, underaged smoking, and possession of marijuana but less than twenty grams.”
“Sounds like an awful lot of misdemeanours,” Kris replied.
Undyne huffed. “Teaching you kids civics in school was a mistake.” She tented her fingers together and looked at Susie. “And may I ask where you got your marijuana from because I’d prefer if there weren’t hard drugs on my streets.”
Kriss scoffed.
‘Hard Drugs.’
Susie shrugged. “My mom.”
“God…” Undyne huffed. “I hate your mom.”
“Likewise,” Susie grumbled, glaring at her.
“Look, I’m not going to send you kids to juvie over this,” Undyne scolded. “Because I’ll admit that you two have gotten a whole lot better in the last six months. But I also need to give you a very firm talking to and I sure as shit need to make sure this isn’t going to happen again.”
“Good luck with that,” Susie said, flashing a tight little smile.
Undyne glared at her. “Or would you prefer that I ruined your entire life by giving you a criminal record at sixteen?”
Susie opened her mouth to speak.
Kris winced. “She doesn’t speak for me!”
“Traitor!” Susie gasped, glaring at them.
“Look my mom would kick my ass if I ended up with a record,” Kris hissed.
“I’m not giving you a record,” Undyne grumbled, shaking her head. “At least not yet. But I also took steps to ensure that something like this isn’t going to happen again.”
“Like what?” Susie asked.
Undyne glanced at her watch. As the seconds ticked along her smile only seemed to grow.
“Well, Susie, your parents haven’t been all that productive in fixing your problematic behaviour and neither have yours Kris,” Undyne said.
Kris swallowed a lump in their throat.
“But I’ve talked with your teacher,” Undyne continued, “and she’s told me about a possible source for your sudden improvement.”
She looked up at them and flashed a wide smile, showing off all of those razor-sharp teeth inside of her mouth.
There was a knock at the police station door and Kris immediately froze. They looked towards Susie and saw that a similar paralysis had stricken her as well.
Had they both come to the same realization at once?
“No,” Kris whispered.
Susie swallowed a lump in her throat and looked at Undyne. “This has to be against the Geneva Convention or something.”
Undyne ignored them and looked towards the door. “Come in!”
The door opened and Kris forced themselves to look forward as they heard familiar little feet step inside. They were light, like a deer, soft but familiar.
“Shit,” Susie breathed.
“You two are so unbelievable!” Noelle shouted. “I needed one night to myself and the next thing I know, I’m getting a call from the police telling me that they caught you two breaking into a minigolf place and causing property damage.”
“It was only a vending machine!” Susie tried.
Her attempt was rebutted by a harsh scoffing sound.
“I am so unbelievably disappointed in you two,” Noelle huffed. She then sniffed the air. “And do I smell cigarette smoke? Have you been smoking again, Susie?”
Kris glared at Undyne whose smile only seemed to grow at their misery. This woman was proof that every Twitter handle with ACAB was completely and utterly justified.
“And the next thing!” Noelle began though promptly paused. “Wait… is that a hickey on your neck, Officer Undyne.”
Undyne’s smile promptly fell. “Err… let’s stay on topic here.”
Susie snickered.
“Fine,” Noelle growled, letting out a terse note as she refocused her attention on her partners. “I’m going to have to keep a close eye on both of you so I can make sure that neither of you get into any more trouble. Because I’ll be honest, having either of you go to juvie over this kind of bullshit would make this polycule really difficult to be in.”
“Did Noelle just swear,” Susie whispered.
Kris sighed. “I’m sorry, Noelle.”
Their apology didn’t seem to even make her pause.
“First things first,” Noelle warned. “I’ll be making sure that both of you go back to that place tomorrow morning and apologize to the owner.”
“But… but…” Susie tried.
Noelle snorted. “There will be no buts, Susie! Officer Undyne has tasked me with your rehabilitation and I’ll make damn sure you’re rehabilitated.”
Undyne smirked. “Thank you, Noelle.”
“Am I understood?” Noelle huffed.
Two heads nodded in unison.
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