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No Sense of Humor
A Thursday Prompt story
© 2022 by Walter Reimer
Prompt: consequence
This has the benefit of being a true story, from a time when dinosaurs walked the earth.
Yeah, all right, I was in my third year of employment at the county jail. Happy now? To give you an idea how long ago that was, the Soviet Union was still a thing – although not for very much longer.
Anyway, I was working at the old County Stockade, a two-story, two-tone brown-painted monstrosity that dated back to the 1940s and inexplicably sported a Fallout Shelter designation. Originally designed to hold only sentenced inmates and those working either at the farm or on the road crews, overcrowding at the main facility downtown had forced the Powers That Be to house pretrial felons there.
Still, most county inmates are content to sit there and await trial, sentencing or release; few are actual troublemakers despite what you read. Most of the staff, including myself, had to be wary, of course.
Which leads me to the true story.
I’m escorting the nurse as she does her afternoon medication pass. She was an older lady who related in an off moment that she had worked as a stripper before going into nursing work. The canine was in her seventies at that point in time. She was pushing her cart, with me standing nearby to make sure that the inmates didn’t reach through the bars and either grab at her or take anything off the cart.
We get up to this one cell, and after the first two of the four guys in the cell get their meds, this one feline comes up to the bars. “Hey, Boss!” he says to me. “I’m going to kill myself!”
I blink at him, and look at the nurse. “You heard him?”
“Sure did,” the feline replies.
“Okay,” I say, “pack your shit, you’re going to the Main Jail on suicide watch.”
His facial expression changed so fast you could hear a record scratch. “I’m just joking, man,” he says.
“And I have no sense of humor about suicide watch, man,” I say right back at him. “Now, pack up.” He grumbles, but complies.
Two weeks later, he’s transferred back to the Stockade after getting removed from suicide watch. “Man, that was some fucked up shit you did,” he says to me when he sees me again.
“No it wasn’t,” I say. “Look here; if you say you’re going to kill yourself, and I just laugh it off or ignore it, and you do kill yourself, I’m in trouble, see?” After a moment, he grudgingly admits I have a point. “So do yourself a favor,” I say, because appealing to self-interest does work at times, “don’t make jokes like that again, okay?”
“Yeah, I’m not doing that again.”
And he didn’t.
end
A Thursday Prompt story
© 2022 by Walter Reimer
Prompt: consequence
This has the benefit of being a true story, from a time when dinosaurs walked the earth.
Yeah, all right, I was in my third year of employment at the county jail. Happy now? To give you an idea how long ago that was, the Soviet Union was still a thing – although not for very much longer.
Anyway, I was working at the old County Stockade, a two-story, two-tone brown-painted monstrosity that dated back to the 1940s and inexplicably sported a Fallout Shelter designation. Originally designed to hold only sentenced inmates and those working either at the farm or on the road crews, overcrowding at the main facility downtown had forced the Powers That Be to house pretrial felons there.
Still, most county inmates are content to sit there and await trial, sentencing or release; few are actual troublemakers despite what you read. Most of the staff, including myself, had to be wary, of course.
Which leads me to the true story.
I’m escorting the nurse as she does her afternoon medication pass. She was an older lady who related in an off moment that she had worked as a stripper before going into nursing work. The canine was in her seventies at that point in time. She was pushing her cart, with me standing nearby to make sure that the inmates didn’t reach through the bars and either grab at her or take anything off the cart.
We get up to this one cell, and after the first two of the four guys in the cell get their meds, this one feline comes up to the bars. “Hey, Boss!” he says to me. “I’m going to kill myself!”
I blink at him, and look at the nurse. “You heard him?”
“Sure did,” the feline replies.
“Okay,” I say, “pack your shit, you’re going to the Main Jail on suicide watch.”
His facial expression changed so fast you could hear a record scratch. “I’m just joking, man,” he says.
“And I have no sense of humor about suicide watch, man,” I say right back at him. “Now, pack up.” He grumbles, but complies.
Two weeks later, he’s transferred back to the Stockade after getting removed from suicide watch. “Man, that was some fucked up shit you did,” he says to me when he sees me again.
“No it wasn’t,” I say. “Look here; if you say you’re going to kill yourself, and I just laugh it off or ignore it, and you do kill yourself, I’m in trouble, see?” After a moment, he grudgingly admits I have a point. “So do yourself a favor,” I say, because appealing to self-interest does work at times, “don’t make jokes like that again, okay?”
“Yeah, I’m not doing that again.”
And he didn’t.
end
Category Story / General Furry Art
Species German Shepherd
Size 120 x 92px
File Size 33.6 kB
Listed in Folders
Yeah, funny how what comes out of some people's mouths ain't what they really want.
I had way too much fun while working for one little internet provider where I got to answer to the BBB. Customers would whine to the BBB that that the company was doing bad things to try to not pay for their early termination fees (promising to stick with the service a year was the only reason they got it so cheap in the first place.)
I'd take a case, check the call logs, check the lines if they still had their modem hooked up, and then write up my report for the BBB. As many of these wanted to get out of their contract that included cutting off their access to our services ... which seemed to come as a surprise to quite a few of them as I sometimes worked on Sundays.
It was funny when a tech would call me (my name/number were in the cancellation notes) and I'd get to read the customer the nasty-gram they'd sent the BBB and then say, "As per your request/demand to the BBB your service is hereby terminated and you can go find another provider. Have a nice day!"
I had way too much fun while working for one little internet provider where I got to answer to the BBB. Customers would whine to the BBB that that the company was doing bad things to try to not pay for their early termination fees (promising to stick with the service a year was the only reason they got it so cheap in the first place.)
I'd take a case, check the call logs, check the lines if they still had their modem hooked up, and then write up my report for the BBB. As many of these wanted to get out of their contract that included cutting off their access to our services ... which seemed to come as a surprise to quite a few of them as I sometimes worked on Sundays.
It was funny when a tech would call me (my name/number were in the cancellation notes) and I'd get to read the customer the nasty-gram they'd sent the BBB and then say, "As per your request/demand to the BBB your service is hereby terminated and you can go find another provider. Have a nice day!"
I think one actually said thank you, most of the others whined even more and some wanted their connection turned back on 'right now'. To the last group I suggested that would require the BBB telling us that they had admitted to lying on their complaint.
For added fun this was back in the day where your provider gave you an email account tied to your DSL account. I think it was only 5meg of email storage back then and the company only held onto the data for 48 hours after a cancellation to save space. That was also another fun call/BBB case, sorry but we are not holding their email hostage - if the consumer has not reopened their account in 48 hours their email account is taken out back and shot in the head ...
For added fun this was back in the day where your provider gave you an email account tied to your DSL account. I think it was only 5meg of email storage back then and the company only held onto the data for 48 hours after a cancellation to save space. That was also another fun call/BBB case, sorry but we are not holding their email hostage - if the consumer has not reopened their account in 48 hours their email account is taken out back and shot in the head ...
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