So basically I was going through a bunch of poetry and fics and shit I'd written over the past two years for class and stuff and found some of them weren't half bad, so I've decided to upload them here. This first one is a poem I wrote about a guy with an eyepatch. Enjoy

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People always ask about the eyepatch
so I tell them.

Here’s what happened:
It was a February night,
dark, cold, with fog so thick you could choke
and ice so slick Bridgestone would bust.
My sister was having her first child and I
sped to the hospital, determined to
make it against all odds and objections.
Turns out stopping from 60 in a few seconds
isn’t that easy with a sheet of ice on the roads.
It was a boy, by the way.

But that’s just something I like to tell strangers.
To tell the truth,
it happened a few years back in Chicago.
I met a girl and we hit it off
But her father was a mob boss
and some rival family goons bust in one day
to kidnap her for ransom.
One guy got off a lucky shot--
hence the patch—
but I took ‘em all out, some John Woo shit,
and on the way to the hospital
she told me she’d never leave me.
A week later she dumped me for some
rich prick with a Ferrari.
Now ain’t that some shit?

But I kid, I kid. Someone like you should know what’s up.
The truth is,
I was on a trip to a small South American country—
you’ve probably never heard of it—
doing charity work
when out of nowhere guerrillas attacked!
Fortunately, I--

What?
Bullshit, you say?
Well, I think it all sounds much better
than tripping on the stairs one day
and hitting the banister wrong.