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Bodily Harm: The Breakthrough Healing Program for Self-Injurers
Written by the directors of S.A.F.E. Alternatives, a self-injury treatment program, "Bodily Harm" is an authoritative examination of this alarming syndrome, offering a comprehensive treatment regimen.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published October 1, 1998
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
November 24, 2009
Dry read, and not well paced. The authors spend the first 200 or more pages trying to make a case for how difficult self-harm (cutting, etc.) is to treat and how great their treatment program is. On page 209, they finally get around to almost telling how they run their treatment program, but first they get more specific about why their program works while others' don't. This is where the major flaw in all the support they have been giving for their program, all the examples of people who have overcome self-harm, really shows itself. In chapter fifteen, they finally get around to stating that they only treat the people who really want to get over self-harm, and are willing to commit to not self-harming while they work the program. That is really great, and works very well. But what they are avoiding is the large percentage of the population of people who self-harm who aren't motivated enough to quit to give it up. They self-select out all the most difficult cases that everyone else has to try to treat, and then criticize everyone else for not being able to cure the people that they are unwilling even to attempt to treat.
To be clear on this point: I agree with their conceptualization of self-harm completely. I agree that it is merely an unhealthy coping mechanism that is used to distract and numb the individual from painful emotions and experiences. I also agree that individuals who self-harm will need to learn to take care of themselves and learn to self-sooth if they are going to make progress in therapy. I'm just not willing to reject from treatment those who are not ready to give up their self-harm willingly right now. And I firmly disagree with the authors' assertions that they are the only program that works for self-harm, because they are using only one type of client, a type that comprises a small percentage of the self-harming population (those who are willing to agree to give it up) in order to make their assertion.
To be clear on this point: I agree with their conceptualization of self-harm completely. I agree that it is merely an unhealthy coping mechanism that is used to distract and numb the individual from painful emotions and experiences. I also agree that individuals who self-harm will need to learn to take care of themselves and learn to self-sooth if they are going to make progress in therapy. I'm just not willing to reject from treatment those who are not ready to give up their self-harm willingly right now. And I firmly disagree with the authors' assertions that they are the only program that works for self-harm, because they are using only one type of client, a type that comprises a small percentage of the self-harming population (those who are willing to agree to give it up) in order to make their assertion.
May 11, 2014
I coudn't tell who the authors intended to read this book.
There's some good information here, though if mental health practitioners were the target audience they probably already know the stats/success/relapse potential of self-harm. There is nothing new here for them.
In all, this book read like a big advertisement for the authors' system. The authors only worked with people who were willingly getting treatment, who are therefore likelier to succeed anyway. There was no good advice on how to help clients see that this is an unhealthy coping skill or how to help them replace it with a more productive skill. The writing was dry and didn't feel accessible to clients, if they were the target audience.
There's some good information here, though if mental health practitioners were the target audience they probably already know the stats/success/relapse potential of self-harm. There is nothing new here for them.
In all, this book read like a big advertisement for the authors' system. The authors only worked with people who were willingly getting treatment, who are therefore likelier to succeed anyway. There was no good advice on how to help clients see that this is an unhealthy coping skill or how to help them replace it with a more productive skill. The writing was dry and didn't feel accessible to clients, if they were the target audience.
September 12, 2016
This book is awsome! It is by the people at S.A.F.E. (Self Abuse Finally Ends). I bought my first copy in 2007 when I decided that I finally needed help to stop SI-ing (Self-Injuring). I worked with a Christian Counselor while reading this book.
It is VERY important to do the logs they suggest in this book. I have several notebooks filled with them. By being aware of your emotions and what you're doing when the urge to SI happens, you can begin to change behaviors that cause the urge to SI.
I started SI-ing in 1991 and was finally able to stop in 2009 (after going through this book several times). I ocasionally get the urge to SI now (2016) but it is never as bad as it used to be. And if I do injure, I am able to stop and evaluate what am I actually feeling? is it going to kill me? and what can I do instead?
If the urges ever come back in force, I know this book will always be there for me! What a great resource!
It is VERY important to do the logs they suggest in this book. I have several notebooks filled with them. By being aware of your emotions and what you're doing when the urge to SI happens, you can begin to change behaviors that cause the urge to SI.
I started SI-ing in 1991 and was finally able to stop in 2009 (after going through this book several times). I ocasionally get the urge to SI now (2016) but it is never as bad as it used to be. And if I do injure, I am able to stop and evaluate what am I actually feeling? is it going to kill me? and what can I do instead?
If the urges ever come back in force, I know this book will always be there for me! What a great resource!
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May 25, 2015Saved my life
April 5, 2011
I believe that this book did an outstanding job of describing self harm, common conditions and experiences of self injurers and used case studies from thier program to back them up.
The main focus of this book is that self harm is a coping mechanism. It can be used to cope with overwhelming feelings (thus gaining control or becoming numb), it can be used for people who can't stand feeling any emotions at all--but it is a choice that the self-injurer makes.
When looking at self harm in this way: that it is just a different way to cope with difficult situations, then it becomes easier to treat, and normalizes it to a point where the therapist/counselor/parent/teacher doesn't have to think anything negative about the person--it's simply a maladaptive coping mechanism.
Like any other behavior, it can be unlearned, or replaced with more positive behaviors (writing, walking, listening to music, talking to someone, getting a hug, the list goes on). But, (and this is a big but) that is ONLY if the person wants to change thier behavior. I read one of the criticisms of this book was that the authors blatantly come out and say they will only work with individuals who want to change. Simply put, a treatment program will only be beneficial if the person wants to change--regardless if the behavior is self harm, addiction, anxiety, or even shyness. At least they understand that. I agree with the critic however that there is very likely going to be a time (or two) when I will find myself working with someone who does not want to change: they are having their needs met by harming, so why would they change? Here the book still had tips for how to help the self-injurer move to a different stage of change: pointing out that self harm does not hurt only the person hurting themselves (but others as well)--a common theme from self injurers is that they are the only ones getting hurt, so why does it matter? Also, making sure that the self injurer understands that they are someone too, and hurting them DOES hurt someone (many self injurers have esteem issues, and will not even see themselves as people who matter).
Overall, I think this is a great book for teachers, counselors, anyone who is likely to work with someone who self harms. It has a great section on what the helper can do as well, and includes how to set boundaries to avoid burnout and taking responsibility for the self harm by the counselor.
The bottom line from this book about self harm is that it is a choice, and it can be changed.
The main focus of this book is that self harm is a coping mechanism. It can be used to cope with overwhelming feelings (thus gaining control or becoming numb), it can be used for people who can't stand feeling any emotions at all--but it is a choice that the self-injurer makes.
When looking at self harm in this way: that it is just a different way to cope with difficult situations, then it becomes easier to treat, and normalizes it to a point where the therapist/counselor/parent/teacher doesn't have to think anything negative about the person--it's simply a maladaptive coping mechanism.
Like any other behavior, it can be unlearned, or replaced with more positive behaviors (writing, walking, listening to music, talking to someone, getting a hug, the list goes on). But, (and this is a big but) that is ONLY if the person wants to change thier behavior. I read one of the criticisms of this book was that the authors blatantly come out and say they will only work with individuals who want to change. Simply put, a treatment program will only be beneficial if the person wants to change--regardless if the behavior is self harm, addiction, anxiety, or even shyness. At least they understand that. I agree with the critic however that there is very likely going to be a time (or two) when I will find myself working with someone who does not want to change: they are having their needs met by harming, so why would they change? Here the book still had tips for how to help the self-injurer move to a different stage of change: pointing out that self harm does not hurt only the person hurting themselves (but others as well)--a common theme from self injurers is that they are the only ones getting hurt, so why does it matter? Also, making sure that the self injurer understands that they are someone too, and hurting them DOES hurt someone (many self injurers have esteem issues, and will not even see themselves as people who matter).
Overall, I think this is a great book for teachers, counselors, anyone who is likely to work with someone who self harms. It has a great section on what the helper can do as well, and includes how to set boundaries to avoid burnout and taking responsibility for the self harm by the counselor.
The bottom line from this book about self harm is that it is a choice, and it can be changed.
March 21, 2008
I learned a lot from the book. It gave me some great ideas and inspiration to work with patients/clients who want to self-harm. I plan on using a lot of the S.A.F.E. Toolbox assignemnts with my clients/patiens.
My only problem with the book was that it was written for professionals as well as people who are self-harming and need/want help. The writers were never consistent with who they were writing for. I think that they should have had a book for the people who are engaging in self-harm and a different book for professional who want to help these individuals.
Still, if you are interested in the subject and/or plan on working with individuals who self-harm it is a must read. I think it would also help anyone who is selg-harming and who have limited resources to help end the behavior.
My only problem with the book was that it was written for professionals as well as people who are self-harming and need/want help. The writers were never consistent with who they were writing for. I think that they should have had a book for the people who are engaging in self-harm and a different book for professional who want to help these individuals.
Still, if you are interested in the subject and/or plan on working with individuals who self-harm it is a must read. I think it would also help anyone who is selg-harming and who have limited resources to help end the behavior.
June 9, 2010
I started off not liking this book. It was written in 1998 and you can tell. Terms such as "self-mutilation" that are considered offensive today are used throughout this book. There are also cases of EXTREME self-injury talked about.... I guess because the people that run the S.A.F.E. Alternatives treatment program come across the worst. But once I got through the first couple chapters I really warmed up to the book. There are lots of personal stories that really help you understand self-injury. The second section of the book, that talked about the S.A.F.E. program, was my favorite. I think anyone who is working with a self-injurer, or anyone who is struggling with it and wants to overcome it, this book is a great resource. Although I am worried that the earlier part of the book might be slightly triggering for those who are struggling, the end bit is a huge help.
August 18, 2012
This is one of the first books I ever read dealing with self harm. I saw alot of myself in the pages of the book, and keep it on hand for referance. I also have worksheets from the progr,am that I often use. I personally recomend this book to others. I will however say that some parts can be very triggering. Also if needed you have a toll free number availabe for use. 1-800-DONT CUT
December 29, 2012
The authors worked at a hospital in the Chicago suburbs and so I had heard about this program years ago. Although it was written in 1998, I found it very helpful and informative. The cases summarized in the book pieced together causes and conditions that helped me understand this addiction much better.
August 28, 2008
If you know anyone dealing with self-injury issues, recommend this book, or read it yourself, it will help you understand the person better.
July 28, 2011
Gives great psychological insight into those who cut themselves/self harm.
August 31, 2019
It's a wonderful resource.
May 11, 2013
I love how it explains everything for anyone who loves the self injurer to understand what they are going through. And it gives you tools on how to stop
November 29, 2013
It was a book that explored the concept of self harm. It provides information and a new type of treatment called S.A.F.E. If you are interested in learning more about self injury you should read it.
August 8, 2018
This is the most important book I've ever read regarding self harm. I have used it as my go-to Bible over years of counseling at-risk teens (all of whom are in full recovery!) The concept of "when someone is angry, sometime has to pay" was a life changing moment for me. It's easy to see that self harm is bad but to find and yank out the root impulse that may not you may not no even be consciously aware of, that's where permanent change and permanent healing can begin.
This book covered such as broad spectrum of scenarios and cases that I felt it really left no stone unturned. I recommend this book to everyone I can.
This book covered such as broad spectrum of scenarios and cases that I felt it really left no stone unturned. I recommend this book to everyone I can.
August 2, 2018
Meh.
This book was written in 1998, and you can tell. There's one point where they point to the grunge style being a cause in the self-harm epidemic. By now, grunge has been out for 20 years.
I liked how they wrote about the reasons people self-injure, that it's dealing with tough things in life that you can't deal with, that you need an escape from. I wish more healthcare providers knew that, but they're getting better.
I didn't like how the book felt like a big advertisement for their program, how they help people "no one else could help". It felt fake.
This book was written in 1998, and you can tell. There's one point where they point to the grunge style being a cause in the self-harm epidemic. By now, grunge has been out for 20 years.
I liked how they wrote about the reasons people self-injure, that it's dealing with tough things in life that you can't deal with, that you need an escape from. I wish more healthcare providers knew that, but they're getting better.
I didn't like how the book felt like a big advertisement for their program, how they help people "no one else could help". It felt fake.
June 26, 2017
Accurate. Sad. True.
June 22, 2020
This is the best book I have ever encountered on self injury for clients, parents, and clinicians. I have bought at least 5 copies over the years because I lend it out and it never comes back.
September 6, 2023
DNF. It really felt repetitive.
January 3, 2024
While I gave this a medium rating, I'm grateful to this book. It's one that was recommended to me in order to understand my own behaviors with this sensitive topic. It's what I needed at the time.
Read
January 9, 2026was recommended to me by Beth
can be triggering for some users
I'm not sure the SAFE program is still around
can be triggering for some users
I'm not sure the SAFE program is still around
November 24, 2019
I think if you self harm or know someone who does then this may be the book you're looking for. It talks about self harm, gives background, etc, then since it's written by the directors of S.A.F.E. (Self Abuse Finally Ends) Alternatives it gives their "sales pitch" as to why their program is better than the others. And they're very persuasive, it makes sense and seems like a light at the end of the tunnel which some self harmers may not have had in a long time.
I recommend this book for anyone who self harms, who is thinking of it, who knows someone who does it. This book will likely be life changing if you take it seriously and follow it's precepts some of which may be difficult but will likely be worthwhile. BUT the person has to be willing, seriously, to want help, to do whatever it takes or it doesn't work. The people that can do the S.A.F.E. Alternatives plan are restricted. So, what do you do with those that don't want help, don't see a problem, that don't want to commit to the precepts... The book doesn't say much if anything about them. So... it doesn't cover all bases and that's a major downside but... it still gives hope to those that are at the end of their rope and are willing to do anything.
I've read it but I know I will be reading it again to try to absorb concepts and because I'm still coming to terms with my own cutting behavior, the why of it. I'm still trying to sort that out and it's likely going to take time.
I recommend this book for anyone who self harms, who is thinking of it, who knows someone who does it. This book will likely be life changing if you take it seriously and follow it's precepts some of which may be difficult but will likely be worthwhile. BUT the person has to be willing, seriously, to want help, to do whatever it takes or it doesn't work. The people that can do the S.A.F.E. Alternatives plan are restricted. So, what do you do with those that don't want help, don't see a problem, that don't want to commit to the precepts... The book doesn't say much if anything about them. So... it doesn't cover all bases and that's a major downside but... it still gives hope to those that are at the end of their rope and are willing to do anything.
I've read it but I know I will be reading it again to try to absorb concepts and because I'm still coming to terms with my own cutting behavior, the why of it. I'm still trying to sort that out and it's likely going to take time.
August 7, 2017
When I got back into reading, after I realized exactly how much fantasy I was reading, I decided I need to open up and read about things of importance. And I think the subject of this book, self harm, it's something very important, and Vastly understood. Even by people who think they understand.
I have seen the effects of when someone thinks they understand self harm, but is not as easy as people think. Even the experts in this book will tell you that there is no copy and paste synopsis of who these people can be and why they started. The one thing that can be said is that these people are often hurting inside, and this book so far is the only book I've ever read or heard of that knows what self harm is, and what it is doing to people.
I think anyone who works with people, or his family, or love ones, who injure, needs to read this book. It can be hard at times, but this is something that people need to understand. In this book is fantastic resource to have.
I have seen the effects of when someone thinks they understand self harm, but is not as easy as people think. Even the experts in this book will tell you that there is no copy and paste synopsis of who these people can be and why they started. The one thing that can be said is that these people are often hurting inside, and this book so far is the only book I've ever read or heard of that knows what self harm is, and what it is doing to people.
I think anyone who works with people, or his family, or love ones, who injure, needs to read this book. It can be hard at times, but this is something that people need to understand. In this book is fantastic resource to have.
August 9, 2013
This book is a pretty dry read. It contains a lot of useful information, but is very repetitive. Some of the chapters come across as filler. It's redeeming quality is the second section of the book where the writers dive into the tools used in the SAFE Alternatives program. This was very helpful to me as a therapist. I would recommend this book to people interested in learning more about self-injury or who work with clients who self-injure. I would suggest, however, that you read through the table of contents and go straight to the chapters containing the information you need.
December 30, 2018
If the reader currently engages in self harm or has in the past, this book (as is many of the books that address this topic) could potentially serve as a trigger.
The book is presented under the guise as a way to help people struggling, but it feels more like the author is just trying to sell S.A.F.E. treatment program & get people to go and be admitted there for treatment. It felt like a very long pamphlet. If you or a loved one are considering the program, save yourself time & money and just go their website.
There are much better books on the topic.
The book is presented under the guise as a way to help people struggling, but it feels more like the author is just trying to sell S.A.F.E. treatment program & get people to go and be admitted there for treatment. It felt like a very long pamphlet. If you or a loved one are considering the program, save yourself time & money and just go their website.
There are much better books on the topic.
May 15, 2013
An easy read. What bothered me the most is I can't tell if the book is intended to help self-injurers and those who work with them professionally (really it is for both). The text is never consistent with who it is directed at. Even within the same paragraph one sentence is directed at the delf injurer and the next at the professional. Good information though.
June 2, 2008
Why the self-harmer needs to hurt
July 29, 2008
Very useful book
September 21, 2014
Lots of interesting information and good suggestions.
January 22, 2013
Eh not too impressed
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews