[2 stars]
Trauma Plot is a confessional narrative memoir about the three unconnected rapes that Jamie Hood experienced in her twenties and her life between and surrounding them. Despite the horrible and graphic descriptions of what happened to her and how the events impacted her life in this memoir, I found myself very ambivalent to the final project itself. I think a lot of my ambivalence is due to my dislike of personal narrative memoirs, which I did not realize this book was so heavily so going into. Beyond that, I am not in love with Hood’s voice or style of writing.
I did read, though admittedly not very deeply, Sehgal’s essay in the New Yorker “The Case Against the Trauma Plot”, which Hood discusses (without naming it) in the wonderful introduction and comes back to in the end of the memoir. In terms of the argument of the essay, of the titular trauma plots flattening characters to a single, expected response to trauma, I don’t really know where I stand. I agree with Seghal that there are so many more responses to trauma that should be explored by writers and biographers, but I also commend Hood for her support of the trauma plot and her own response to her traumas (mostly). No matter how I write about my somewhat negative opinion of the memoir as a whole, I do truly commend Hood’s decision to write this and explore the overwhelming presence of rape in a person’s life and the unfiltered ways that trauma affects them.
The introduction of this memoir was an incredible piece of analytical writing. In it, Hood discusses #MeToo and the response to rape in a post #MeToo world, the novel A Little Life and her appreciation and how she relates to its portrayal of unconnected repeated abuse against its main character (which is heavily criticized by many critics and readers), and a comparison between herself and “iconic” raped women in popular culture, most specifically Philomela from Ovid’s Metamorphosis. I found the widespread and almost scattered nature of this introduction similar to a shotgun blast. We move from point to point in a fluid and impatient way, as though Hood knows her time is limited and wants us to meet her at all of her points. I loved her voice in this introduction more than any other point of the book and felt that I could really understand what she had to say regarding her arguments, critiques, and general points. This was such a good piece of writing that I kept waiting for the rest of the memoir to pick back up on. Until Part Four, it did not at all.
Part One, titled “She” is told in the third person and follows Hood in a single day in her life months after her first rape. She moves around her apartment and job at the university, plans for a party tonight, and is haunted by a shadowed spector who appears to her at times. This culminates in her finally being able to remember anything at all about her rape from months earlier.
Hood writes of the spector, an obvious stand-in for her trauma, very well. The initial fear and refusal to acknowledge turning into a confusing familiarity along with the knowledge that it will end up destroying her if she does not reckon with it is portrayed well. However, this is housed within a very dull narrative of a twenty-something year old woman’s average day living in Boston.
This was, by far, the worst section of the novel. I do not care to read about a person’s daily life, work, and relationship drama. It’s dull. I always feel bad about describing a memoir as “dull” because it is just the author’s life - and I live a very dull life myself - but it was a slog to read through. The only thing that kept me going was the anticipation for a return to the analytical style from the introduction, which never came.
Hood writes in this very flowery, poetic style of prose. It is forced and overdone to a distracting point (though, the narrative is so dull that any distraction might be necessary). At one point she mocks an ex-boyfriend (rightfully so, he sounds like he sucked) for being a poet and using the largest and most intentionally confusing words in his arguments with her, and the entire time I was thinking to myself “you’re doing the same thing!” Of course, a man intentionally confusing you and using large words in arguments to make you feel stupid is very different than an intentional writing choice in a memoir, but the feeling was still there. It’s like she looked at the diaries she kept at this time of her life and, when transcribing to print, subbed out every other word with the longest, most underused word she could find in the thesaurus. ”If, in the moment of rupture, she was unable to pinpoint the genesis of their disassembly, she found in his intractability on the subject of the flowers an effortless truth…” Is an example. Though this lesson in later parts (or maybe I just got used to it), it greatly took away from the story she was telling.
Part Two, titled “I”, is leagues better and is told in a standard first person POV. I still found it just okay, but it was a breath of fresh air compared to Part One. Here, Hood describes her second rape, this time involving being roofied by a man at a bar. She uses a variety of motifs in this chapter, starting with describing how the Boston Marathon Bombing and a murder case bookend her rape and later comparing herself to horror movie heroines. She talks of how she could never be a survivor - a final girl - because she is a slut. Though the language is much better than the first part, it still ultimately is a telling of her week-to-week at this point in her life.
One part that I liked most was the moment she wrote about following her rape about frantically looking online and at studies to find if other women experienced the same as her: repeated, though not continuous, rapes. How she felt she needed to find even a single other recorded moment, a narrative, a statistic, anything to show that she was not singular in her trauma. A very powerful moment that helps contextualize her choice to write this memoir.
Part Three is “You” and is told in a very skillfully done second person POV. Rather than just being a gimmick, it is utilized fully in Hood’s own analysis of her decisions and life in the months following her second rape - a “litigation, she calls it. A decently good part, better than Part Two though not by much, it passed by me with little impact. No doubt, it is powerful to read about the struggles of her life in poverty after moving to NYC, her eating disorder, escalating drug and alcohol use, and her eventual turn to sex work, it felt like so many other personal essays and the like that I have read online about other women who find themselves in these situations. Though, I guess that speaks to what Hood describes at the start of Part Four about rape needing to be seen as an epidemic and human rights issue, rather than the anomaly spectacle that it is see as in the current moment during and post #MeToo. No rape is described in this chapter other than callbacks to her previous two. Instead, Hood describes in full force the effects of trauma on her body and mind. She does not stop herself from sharing anything about the hardship of this time in her life, regardless of whether or not it harms the image of her as a victim in other’s eyes.
Part Four, “We”, is back to speaking in the first person. This was the part that I was most dreading, as I cannot stand reading transcriptions of therapy, but it ended up being my favorite by far. Here, Hood recounts her discussions with her therapist about her rapes, including her third rape - a gang-rape that involved her being roofied - her childhood, and her decision to write this book and the struggle that came with it. This part is most directly related to the memoir’s introduction and breaks away from the narrative format. Instead, we get Hood’s descriptions of her feelings regarding all of these things. There is not much dialogue from the therapist in this part, though she is present. Hood describes her finally accepting that her rapes were not her fault and gives a portrayal of what her decade following them has been like. She also discusses at length her knowledge that she won’t be believed by many people. Multiple rapes, and especially gang-rapes she points out, is inherently unbelievable to many people. Beyond this, she knows that her own choice to sleep around, to party and drink too much, to do drugs, all, in the mind of many men, gives them an out to not believe her. She then expands this idea to her rapists and wonders how, if at all, they rationalized it. Reading just the introduction and this part is all I recommend from this book, though the other parts do provide context.
I respect greatly how Hood, as a trans woman, does not shy away from describing herself as a woman, as a victim of misogyny, or anything of that sort. Though the topic of her being a trans woman comes up, of course, it is not considered to affect much by her. She includes it in her final analysis, but points out that it was still misogyny and men’s desire for and power over woman that lead to her rapes and the other forms of violence that she experienced. Also (unrelated), as a Plath hater, she brings her up way too many times. A nitpick, yes, but I felt like mentioning it for my own recording sake.
Though I did not enjoy this memoir all that much, I do understand the praise that it is receiving and I am happy for Hood for it. Maybe at a different time in my life, this memoir would stick to me much better, but at this time it did not.