Maria's Reviews > It Ends with Us

It's really not fair for books like these to exist.
Lilly is probably the strongest character I have ever read about, she reminded me a lot of my aunt who went through the same circumstances in her life.
Can I review this with naked truths? I guess that's all I could think of throughout the entire 24 hours session of reading.
First, I would have taken the exact same decisions Lilly took, forgiving him and giving excuses for him after everytime he messed up with her. Except the last one.. I don't think I'd be as strong as Lilly was.
And, I don't like how this book makes me feel about myself, I don't like that I wanted to trust Ryle and I wanted to believe he would never mistreat her again.
I also hated that she let go of all the memories they had together and how much he loved her, just to not risk going through fighs and maybe him beating her up again.
I don't know why but I seriously ENVY how this book is making me think, I put myself in her spot several times and everytime she forgave him I felt.. relieved? What the actual fuck, that's wrong, I should never feel that way and no other woman should feel it nor do what Lilly did.
I fucking have no idea how to see this novel, it's definitely strong. Probably too strong for me. BUT I ABSOLUTELY CARVED IT IN MY HEART. I needed something like this. Something to knock me out of my daydreaming and my naiveness.
One more naked truth, I loved Ryle. Too much than I should. Probably I felt connected to him more than anyone.
There's this quote from the book "The Perks Of Being A Wallflower" which says: we accept the love we think we deserve.
I remember my reaction after reading this sentence, I put my phone down and I smiled, because I finally knew how to explain myself when it comes to love.

I accept the love I think I deserve.


That's another naked truth, one I've been trying to cover with excuses and reasons that I should follow what my heart orders me to do.
But in this book, I realized that it's not at all how I should feel. Love isn't supposed to force someone to take any kind of right decision which might lead to a series of wrong ones. As much as I hate this novel for making me realize how terribly weak I am, I still love it for the same exact reason somehow. And I think after reading this review again in the future, I'll be smiling appreciatively for knowing how much I've changed and how much I learned from this story.
Thank you isn't enough Colleen. It's so much less than what you deserve. But here's one last naked truth: Thank you is all I'm able to say to you right now.