Why is everyone in the Officalverse DEAD or DYING right now

canon event

HAH THEIR REIGN IS FINALLY COMING TO AN END

THEIR LIFESPANS WERE MUCH SHORTER THAN THOSE OF US, GREAT GIMMICK BLOGS

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

*Throws a brick at you*

WAAAAAAA WHA DID I DO TO DESERVE THAT

We’re not dead or dying???