When you’re somehow roped into a discussion in a public setting about Love Languages and then someone utters the words Acts of Service and you’re transported instantaneously to the Perv Zone, like with wavy lines and sparkles like on an 80s sitcom, but you have to maintain some semblance of normalcy so you say “Oh, what’s that one?” and someone explains it’s, like, yard work or cleaning the gutters and you say, “oh I see,” while being tortured by visions of kinky bondage pornography and the dissertation level of hours you have devoted to deciding which powerful, violent, uncompromising fictional men most want to be told they’ve been good.