"This child is never a bother! This child is so low maintenance!"

When I was a kid, I once walked around an entire mall with gum in my mouth that had almost immediately turned to liquid for some reason. I didn't want to bother anyone to find a trashcan.

When I was a kid, I once ate a reheated frozen meal still partially frozen because I didn't want to bother anyone to use the microwave again.

You see a "low maintenance" child and I see a child too afraid to ask for their needs to be met.

I do want to clarify that in my particular case, I just had one of the worst anxiety disorders a child could have and no one knew. This wasn't due to my parents ever acting as if I were a burden or making me think they'd be upset by these things.

I didn't specify that in the original post because I know that very much isn't the case for many children. For a lot of them, they are acting this way out of a genuine and valid fear of the consequences.

Regardless of the why of it, there are children out there touted as perfect kids and the reason they're so "perfect" is that they are afraid to admit to not being perfect. And honestly being constantly called perfect makes it so much fucking worse.

So yeah. Whatever the reason, my heart goes out to all my fellow "well behaved" kids. You and I deserved to not be perfect. We deserved to be heard and have our needs met.

So parents out there... Make sure your kids are actually okay. Check in with them. Make them feel safe. Make sure they know that they will be loved even if they cause you inconveniences.

Shout out to kids that had the opposite experience.

Shout out to the kids who were high maintenance. Shout out to the kids that were told they were hard to love. That were told they were too needy. That were told they were too much.

You deserved to have your needs met without criticism. You deserved a family that loved and supported you unconditionally.

We all deserved better, whether we made ourselves smaller for the sake of others or were told we were too big and too much trouble. I hope that those of us who decide to raise kids can take those lessons and make sure the new generation has it just a little bit better than we did. 💖